My Heart Aches for You
by Peardrella
Summary: Jon Good was just a man who got with an older woman. Amber Hendricks was the daughter of said older woman. She expected everything to end the way it usually did; her mother's heart shattered then soon to be magically repaired by another man who'd shatter her heart again. Unfortunately, things were much deeper than that. This time, she played role in what would lead to a lot of pain
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I haven't written fan fiction in a really long time, so I'm incredibly rusty. Constructive criticism would be appreciated, and reviews in general would be nice. Also, the story is set in 2004, so certain things may not be accurate, seeing as I was still a child during that time period.

* * *

 **My Heart Aches for You**

 **Chapter 1**

* * *

"Amber, this is Jon." Her mother gestured to a tall, slightly muscular man standing next to her. "Jon, this is my daughter."

She raised an eyebrow, looking him up and down. There was a clear absence of deep-set wrinkles, gray hair – basically any indicators of being someone of a particular age. It was either he took great care of his skin, or he was incredibly young. "How old is he?" she asked, making sure her annoyance was heard in her tone of voice.

"He's eighteen years old," she mumbled, almost if she was ashamed. "Look, I know it seems—"

" _I'm_ seventeen. I'm going to be eighteen in two months. There's an obvious issue here, mom." Maybe it was a bit disrespectful, but she was tired of dealing with the type of men her mother chose. She figured it was a matter of time before she brought home someone around her age, but it was such a hard pill to swallow. Listening to her mother try to justify it would've probably made it harder for her to accept.

Her mother was almost forty, yet the men she dated got progressively younger. Although she couldn't relate, she had a vague idea of why she did it; to feel young again. She was at that age where you desperately want to cling on to any glimmer of your youth. However, she just couldn't accept this; Jon was only a year older than her. It felt odd to think that someone who could've grown up with her had they been in the same environment was who her mother wanted her to accept as a possible father figure.

What she thought was clearly irrelevant, though. The relationship was doomed to fail anyway, so she just decided to wait it out and try to make the best of the situation like she usually did.

Subconsciously, she figured that part of the reason she was so unaccepting of any man her mother brought home was that she couldn't accept that she'd be with someone other than her father, and she hated what the man she married afterwards did. However, she also knew her mother had appalling taste in men. They were either emotionally or physically abusive, immature, or some other thing she couldn't quite put her finger on, but they gave her a bad feeling.

The last one, for example, lied about almost everything, right down to his name. She knew something was off about his alleged backstory, but she couldn't prove it. So, as usual, she kept her distance and waited for things to eventually reveal themselves. A while later, her mother found out that his name _wasn't_ Joseph Graham, and he _didn't_ inherit a whole heap of money from his father who died in a plane crash one day and a car accident the next. He was Daniel Burkley, and he lost his job as a sales associate a few months before he met her mother. His father was undeniably dead, though; just not in the circumstances that they originally thought.

Maybe she was a bit cynical, but she didn't want to see her mother sad. The way she went about it came off a bit rude, but there was no other way to get her point across. Plus, she knew she had good intentions, and that was all that mattered in the end.

"Amber, _please_ relax," her mother pleaded while Jon took a seat on the couch. She noticed that her mother's boyfriend—Jim? Whatever his name was, he wasn't making eye contact with her. Great; she would've loved for it to stay that way. "I know it's hard for you to accept, but—"

"I don't need an explanation. I promise you I won't interfere with… whatever this is. As long as you're happy, I won't be in your way, and I won't lecture you about it." The goal was to get out of the situation faster by just going along with what her mother wanted, but she had a gut feeling that it wasn't good enough.

Her mother's body language became a bit more relaxed, which was good, but she still wasn't too happy about the situation. "I'm sure you're not gonna like this…" her mother began, and usually when sentences began like that, she was most certainly right. "Jon's going to be staying with us for a while."

Amber tensed up as she took a glance at his duffel bag that she somehow overlooked before. It was too much too soon; she literally just met him. But it wasn't her relationship, plus she had to let everything play out naturally for her mother to learn. Taking a deep breath, she squeezed her eyes shut in attempt to close her eyes. "I'm fine with that," she said through gritted teeth. "I'm going back to my room now."

"No, hold on." Amber turned back to look at her mother. "I have to go to work soon, so when I'm gone, I need you to make Jon feel at home. Promise me you won't do anything to him." She looked at Jon, who was just absentmindedly bobbing his head, then back her mother who she could see was pleading with her eyes.

"Fine," she finally agreed. "I'm _not_ cooking for him, though," she enunciated. Her mother stood up and hugged her before leaving the room, grateful that she agreed.

As soon as she was out of view, Amber turned on her heel to go to her room, not wanting to stay in the same room as him. "Hold on," Jon said, causing her to roll her eyes and face him. "You're supposed to make me feel at home." She knew instantly he was just trying to be an asshole.

"I lied," she stated before turning around again. As she walked towards her room, she thought about him going back to her mother with how she was treating him, which made her give in, figuring her mother's happiness was more important. "Fine," she sighed. "What do you want?"

"I don't know, I didn't think you'd agree," he said with a shrug. "Did you know your mom talks about you a lot?" he asked.

"I don't know; I didn't think you'd actually agree," he said with a shrug. "Your mom talks about you a lot. Obviously she really loves you, and I guess that's the only reason you're giving me the time of day, right?" He was dead on. There was no other reason for her to talk to him.

She sat on the couch, careful to leave some distance between them. "Why are you with my mom?" It was a genuine question. Although her mother was amazing, she didn't see why Jon would want to be with her. They seemed like two completely different people.

"She's a cool person," he answered, running a hand through his shoulder-length hair that sort of looked like it was a faded pink. "She's funny, she's nice, and also pretty. I haven't known her that long, but the fact that she's letting me stay here means she's really nice." He noticed that she was looking at him as if she didn't believe a word he said.

"How many times have you fucked my mother?" she asked bluntly. "If you have, do you use protection? And don't lie; I'm old enough to know how these things work."

He chuckled a bit, shaking his head as he looked up at the roof. "Don't you think it's weird for you to care this much about your mother's sex life?"

"I want to remain an only child, now answer the question." She folded her arms across her chest and looked him straight in the eyes. Even though the room was slightly dim, his light blue eyes still popped. And while it was attractive, it didn't make him any less of an asshole to her.

He raised his eyebrows, then turned his upper body to face her. "She doesn't want to, so no, we haven't." He then scooted closer to her, then reached out to touch her hair, only for her to pull back he head. "You know, you don't look a lot like your mom. She's a brunette, but your hair's jet black. And your eyes are almost gray. Would you say they're gray?"

Amber felt her heart beating faster as he came closer; he smelled _really_ good. She couldn't describe it, but it made her want to keep inhaling his scent. She looked into his eyes briefly, scooting away from him when she saw that he was staring at her intently. "Yeah, I guess," she finally replied.

"Yeah? Well, your mother's are hazel. And the shape of your face is more round, and your mother's is heart shaped," he said, a questioning tone in the air. "I don't even know. It's like… Fuck, your faces are different." He reached out to touch her again, but she pulled herself back, just like she did before.

"Are you an artist?" she asked, getting up off the couch. "Why are you describing my face and trying to touch me?"

"I consider what I do an art-form, but I don't think you'd agree," he said with shrug. "I was just trying to make conversation, but whatever." He leaned back into the chair then looked away from her. "What do you do for fun?"

She thought about it for a while, realizing she didn't do anything fun. It was probably due to the fact that she only had one friend, who she didn't even really consider much of a friend, since she only thought about her when she was in school. "I watch TV, and I go for walks sometimes," she replied.

"That sounds… lame," he teased, smirking at her. "You probably don't give a shit, but I'll say it anyway so I can say that I at least tried. My life is a cycle of eating, training, and hanging out with friends," he stated, then proceeded to flex his muscles. "I'd say the training is helping me bulk up."

She looked away, realizing it was hard to speak. She didn't know what he was doing, or even _how_ he did it, but she couldn't deal with it. "I'm gonna go to my room," she announced, turning to leave.

"Too bad; I was enjoying this," he said, stretching a bit before adjusting in his seat. "Oh, your mom said I'm sleeping in your room tonight; something about bonding or whatever. Your dad used to sleep with you when you were scared, so she thinks maybe I'd be able to recreate that." He shrugged, crossing his legs. "I don't think that's gonna work, but who am I to tell her what to do, right?"

She rolled her eyes and squeezed her fist to the point where her knuckles were white. Her mother was always trying to get her to accept her boyfriends in the most ridiculous ways, even though the almost never worked. "Fine," she finally agreed. "You're sleeping on the floor."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Amber woke up in the morning to the sound of her mother singing, along with the sound of dishes. She usually never had enough time or energy to make breakfast unless she had a good reason to do so. Her guess was to make Jon feel welcomed. She rolled off the bed and on tp the floor, only to realize Jon was a few inches from her. She didn't even hear him enter the room last night.

He wasn't wearing a shirt, but his lower half was covered by a sheet. He was what most would call sculpted. Abs and perfectly toned muscles. She felt her cheeks getting hot, so she scrambled off the floor, waking him up in the process.

"Good morning," he croaked while stretching his arms over his head. His voice was so deep and raspy, and she didn't know why, but she found it somewhat attractive.

She cleared her throat and went back on her bed. "Breakfast is probably outside for you," she muttered.

"Awesome," he said with a lazy grin. He stood up and Amber noticed his morning wood. "Hm, it looks bigger than usual," he bragged, noticing that she was staring. He winked and walked out of the room.

She wanted to slam her head into a wall over and over again. It was such an embarrassing situation, and she thought that he'd think that she was attracted to him or something, which definitely wasn't true. She couldn't be; it was her mother's boyfriend after all. He was completely off limits. The good thing about it was he was only temporary; she was one hundred percent sure of that.

"You're not gonna eat breakfast?" her mother asked after opening her door. "I made your favorite," she added with a warm smile.

"Blueberry waffles with scrambled eggs covered in syrup?" she asked, sounding more child-like. Her mother nodded, causing her to quickly get out of bed and go into the dining room where her plate was set out for her.

"This is really good, Mara" Jon said as he scarfed down his food.

"You might swallow your fork, asshole," Amber said under her breath. Just as she said that, she almost choked on some eggs. Probably karma for calling him an asshole.

"Okay Amber, here's what's gonna happen; I'm gonna go to work in about fifteen minutes, and Jon will be here. Then, when I come home, we're gonna go on a date so he'll be out of your hair, which I'm sure you're happy for. Then when we get back, I _promise_ he'll sleep in my room tonight. Sounds good?"

She nodded, figuring that Jon would leave the house anyway. "Wherever you're going, bring home food. Pizza specifically," she mumbled with her mouth full of food.

"I'm assuming you said to bring pizza, so yeah, I'll try to remember," she said, taking her last sip of coffee. "I'm gonna go now; Bye!" she said as she turned to leave.

As she took her last bite, she went to the refrigerator and grabbed the orange juice and drank some out of the carton, then placed it back in the refrigerator when she was done.

"Gross," Jon said, crinkling his nose. "Aren't supposed to be rich and classy?"

She shook her head. "Upper middle class. _And_ I do whatever I want," she replied. She picked up her dishes and began cleaning them up, wanting to leave the kitchen as soon as possible. "When are you leaving?" she asked.

"When I'm ready," he replied, scraping up the last bits of his food. He picked up his dishes and went over to the sink where she was. As he walked behind her, she felt his dick brush up against her butt lightly. She took a deep breath to calm down; she had already started to feel her heart pound against her chest. "Can you wash these for me?" he asked, trying his best to pull an innocent face.

She scoffed and turned off the sink. "Wash them yourself, asshole. I'm not your maid," she said as she walked away. She had to take a shower anyway.

* * *

Jon stood outside of the bathroom, waiting for her to come out so he could take a shower.

He had to admit, Amber was attractive, but he didn't think she would go for him even if he wasn't with her mother. She seemed like she wouldn't let anyone get close to her for whatever reason. He wasn't gonna force her to open up, but he was willing to try everything Mara told him to do, even if her knew it wasn't gonna work.

He heard the shower turn off, she he moved from in front of the door and waited for her to come out. She came out with the towel loosely wrapped around her with water droplets dripping off of her. Honestly, water dripping off her eyelashes made her eyes look cuter.

She made brief eye contact with him before looking down at her feet and going to her room. As she dried herself off, all should could think about was his dick printing out, and as much as she didn't want to, she couldn't get her mind off of it.

"Open up," Jon said after knocking on Amber's door. "The longer you take, the harder I'll knock." The door swung open, and she was visibly annoyed, but he had to "bond" with her to make her mother happy, so he brushed off her annoyance. "We're going out," he said.

She scoffed and walked off. "If you think I'm going anywhere with you, you're out of your fucking mind," she said, gluing her eyes back on her TV.

"Clearly, I am. And apparently so is your mother, 'cause she's the reason you're going out with me," he said with a smile. She groaned and covered her head with her pillow. "Get your bathing suit; we're going down to the lake with some of my friends. You can invite yours if you want," he said, though he doubted that she had any friends.

"How are we getting there?" she asked. "Do you have a car?"

"I do; did you think I couldn't afford it or something?" he asked, feigning offense. "Anyway, you'll be fine. Everyone there's around your age anyway, it's not like you'll be left out," he assured her. "I promise I won't be an 'asshole' like you call me for some reason."

She sighed and got up off of the bed and walked over to him. "What do I get if I don't enjoy this?" she asked with her arms folded across her chest.

"I'll be your slave for two weeks. Sound good?" Her face was blank, so he had no idea how she felt about it. He just wanted to get to the lake fast before his friends got tired of waiting for him.

"Fine," she finally said. "Get out so I can get my bathing suit," she said before slamming the door in his face. "Asshole."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I'm honestly losing motivation already so… Please review if you like it!

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 **Chapter 3**

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Amber had on a t-shirt and shorts to cover her bathing suit, not really planning to go in the water. She only planned to stay in the car by herself, but she still put on her bathing suit just in case she changed her mind, or if she absolutely had to.

When Jon pulled up to the lake, there were five people there. Three boys and two girls. They were all sitting down, and when they saw Jon's car pull up, they stood up and started walking towards him.

Before he came out of the car, he looked at her, as if he was asking her if she wasn't coming out. "I'll introduce you," he whispered before going to greet them.

She sighed and opened the door, lazy getting out of the car. "Fine, but if I don't enjoy it, that's an extra week." He shook his head and waited for her to meet him on the other side of the car, knowing that he would find some way to make it enjoyable. She folded her arms and leaned against the car. "I'm Amber," she said with a slight wave.

"She's Mara's daughter," he said, causing them to raise their eyebrows. "She's seventeen," he added, as if to answer the questions they hadn't exactly asked.

"Dude, how old is Mara? I thought she was in her twenty's and she just got a baby," the shorter one questioned. He was pale just like her, and he was bit chubby.

"Mara's thirty-eight," he mumbled. "Look, the point is, we're gonna make Amber happy, because I don't want to be a slave for two or three weeks," he said, trying to get them to sympathize with him. "Amber, this is Sam. He's sixteen," he said as he pointed to the same pale, chubby boy. "This is Danny and David. They're twins and they're eighteen." Danny and David were tall and slightly on the skinny side, but they had abs. She couldn't tell the difference between them, but she did know that they were both attractive. "That's Christie, she's eighteen." He pointed to the petite blonde girl. He bent down to her ear, and she could feel his skin brush slightly against her, startling her a bit, and causing her heart to beat faster. Great. "Christie's nosey, watch out," he whispered, but apparently Jon was a terrible whisperer, or her hearing was just that good.

"I heard that!" she exclaimed before hitting him on his arm. "I'm not nosey, I just like to know a lot about people before I consider them a friend," she said, sticking her hand out for her to shake it. Amber looked down and reluctantly shook her hand. She didn't want to; she wasn't that comfortable touching people. But she didn't want to seem rude. She was a girl, after all. Girls are fine. "That's Bella, and she's almost nineteen. As you can see, she's drop dead gorgeous." Bella was tall, tan, and had bright blue eyes and long, dark hair. She really was drop dead gorgeous.

"Nice to meet you," Bella said with a nod. "Christie _is_ kinda nosey, not gonna lie. Sorry Chris."

Christie scrunched up her nose and walked away. Meanwhile, Jon and Sam were having their own conversation off to the side. Amber was only left with Bella, Danny, and David in front of her. "What school do you go to?" Danny asked, but Amber couldn't really tell the difference.

"I go to Trinity High School," she replied, shifting her weight to her left foot.

David raised his eyebrows, then looked at Danny. "That's a Catholic school, right? A private all girls Catholic school," he noted. He was confused as to why she was with them if she was somewhat privileged. "That's, uh… really expensive, right?"

"It's $450 a semester, so no, it's not really expensive," she corrected. "But I guess it seems like it from the outside." She didn't know what to say; she wasn't exactly comfortable around them. But she just wanted to make her mother happy, so she'd do whatever she had to do to make the best of the situation.

"Amber?" She turned to look at Jon, and saw him waving her over. She walked over to him and Sam, silently thanking him for removing her from an awkward situation. "I forgot to buy food so I'm gonna go get it. Do you wanna come with me or are you staying?" he asked.

She weighed the decision in her head. _Go with Jon who I barely know but is also an asshole? Or stay here with people I don't know and have no interest in getting know and feel really out of place?_ After a while, she came to a conclusion, but she took too long for Jon's liking. She could tell by the way he was impatiently tapping his foot. "Let's go," she finally responded.

* * *

"Why do you think I'm an asshole?" Jon asked after a while of the car being completely silent. "You've literally only known me for like a day."

Amber shifted in her seat and stared out of the window. She had no idea how to say it without giving out too much information. However, she also realized she didn't have to give him an explanation. "Men in general are assholes. You're no exception," she replied. "What are you gonna buy anyway?"

"No, no, no. No changing the subject here. I'm trying to be nice to you for your mother's sake and you're not accepting it at all. So, what exactly do I need to do for you to accept me?"

She shrugged. She had no intentions of accepting him, and she didn't think she ever would. Her whole mentality was thinking that he'd be gone soon anyway, so she didn't see the point in opening up to someone who was only temporary. Of course, he didn't need to know all of that. "Don't force it like you're doing right now," she finally said.

"Do you want me to take you home then?" he asked, briefly looking at her before locking his eyes back on the road. "I know you didn't want to be here."

She did want to go home, but she also wanted to make her mother happy more than anything else. "I'll stay, but when you're on your date with my mom, tell her that her _bonding_ techniques aren't working and that I'd rather just let things play out the way they're supposed to," she said, looking at him as she spoke. "You're still an asshole; don't let this conversation fool you."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter. Next update on Saturday! Also, I apologize for this chapter being so short. The others I longer, I promise you that.

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 **Chapter 4**

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Amber was still in her bathing suit when she got home, and also dripping wet, since Jon literally dragged her out of the water after realizing that her mother was almost done working. She enjoyed being in the water, especially since Jon's friends didn't bother trying to interact with her after they got the food. It's not that she didn't like them; she just wasn't too outgoing, and friendships had to be develop naturally in order for her to be comfortable.

"Amber!" Jon yelled from the bathroom. "Grab my towel; it's on the couch."

She grabbed the towel and knocked on the bathroom door. When she opened it, she had no idea if he noticed how quickly her jaw dropped, but it did. Surrounded by steam, dripping wet, and his _area_ was only covered by his swim trunks that he had crumpled up in his and put there to compensate for his towel. "I-I, um… h-here's your towel," she stuttered, shoving it in his hand and speed walking away from him

Jon smirked as she walked away. It wasn't his intention to make her a nervous, horny mess that but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy seeing her reaction. He knew that she wasn't actually interested in him though; she made that completely obvious. He just thought that she was so closed off that she had no idea how to react properly to those situations. And it was cute, somewhat, considering that they were the same age.

Amber heard the front door open, along with her mother's heels against the wooden floor. She silently cheered, knowing that Jon would be gone, and if she was up by the time they got back, Jon would probably be too tired to talk to her. "Amber? Jon?" her mother called out. Amber figured the house sounded too empty.

"We're home!" Jon called from the bedroom. He came out and looked around before kissing her on the lips. He agreed to wait a while before kissing her in front of Amber. Apparently, she wasn't sure that Amber would be comfortable with it. "Amber went in the water, but she didn't talk to any of my friends. She was like, really distant from all of us."

"Aww, I'm sorry. I just wanted her to break out of her shell a little bit, you know?" She shook her head and sighed, placing her purse on the dining table. "Where is she?"

"She's in her room. She told me she enjoyed the time out, but she also said she's not gonna accept me if it's forced. So I guess your bonding techniques aren't so effective. Sorry," he said with a shrug. "But at least she opened up enough to tell me that. That's good, right?"

She shrugged and walked past him. "I suppose it is. Anyway…." She sat down on the couch and smiled at him. "You might get lucky tonight," she said with a smirk.

He smiled at her and attempted to wiggle his eyebrows, though it looked more like he had a facial tick. "I like the sound of that, babe." He sat next to her and traced his finger along her thigh. "Wanna give me a preview?" he asked, putting his face so close to hers that their noses were almost touching.

Just as they were about to kiss, Amber came out of her room, causing them to quickly put distance between them. Amber saw what was about to happen, however, and her mood instantly dropped. She sighed and went back to her room, not bothering to speak to any of them.

"I'll talk to her," he breathed, not bothering to wait for Mara's respond. He didn't bother to knock on her door either, because he had a strong feeling that she'd just tell him to go away. However, she had already locked the door, so he had no other choice but to knock. "Amber, I—" she opened to door and gave him the most intense death glare he had ever seen. "Can I come in?" he asked.

She sighed and stepped aside for him to come in, then shut the door. She didn't know why she was so hurt; she never felt that bad when she saw the past men kiss her mother. Granted, she never liked it, but this one hurt her to the point where she started crying a little bit. "What do you want?" she asked, sounding monotone.

"You know, you're like really… attractive." He didn't know why he said it; it was just something that slipped out. But she didn't seem angry or upset. Just neutral. He figured that he was doing something right, so he continued. "Your lips are pouty and soft looking; delectable. And your big gray eyes are so easy to get lost in." He sat next to her placed a hand on her chin. "Don't look down. I wanna look into them." He stared into her eyes for a while, then he noticed how nervous she looked. He didn't want to risk her blowing up at him, so he placed a kiss on her forehead and left.

Amber was left confused. She had no idea what happened or why it happened, but all she knew was that she had a lump in her throat and it hurt to swallow. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. She didn't know what to do, or even what to think. She just wanted to go to sleep and hope that things went back to normal.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Chapter 6 on Tuesday guys! I'm kind of excited for it, _especially_ chapter 7.

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

* * *

"Wake up," she heard as she slept. "It's 5:30; you gotta go to school."

She groaned and rose from the bed, seeing Jon standing in front of her. Shirtless as usual. "I don't want to," she said before slamming her head back on the pillow.

"If you go, you won't have to be around me all day," he croaked. He was obviously really tired. He dropped out of school about two years ago, so he wasn't used to waking up early anymore. He almost felt sorry for her.

She rolled right off the bed and onto the floor, then began clutching her shoulder after the impact. "Fucking asshole," she said under her breath. "I'm talking to the floor, not you. But you're still an asshole," she clarified.

"Expected," he said under his breath. "I'm taking you to school, so hurry up. I'll be on the couch when you're ready."

She groaned and stood up, mentally cursing everything around her. She really wasn't in the mood to go to school, mostly because she didn't get enough sleep the previous night. She stayed up until 3AM watching TV, because her eyes just wouldn't close no matter how much she tried. She also had a lot of thoughts racing through her mind; thoughts that she couldn't decipher. She kept thinking about love and how it would affect her, but she didn't understand what brought on those thoughts.

Jon put on clothes, then took a Red Bull out of the refrigerator. He was afraid he'd fall asleep behind the wheel because of how exhausted he was. He didn't get _lucky_ last night like he hoped, but he didn't mind. He had so much sex at a young age that he wasn't even that interested in it anymore. Last night after he and Mara got home, he started thinking about what happened with him and Amber. He knew it was wrong, but somehow he felt like it was right. He _was_ trying to cheer her up, after all. And as far as he knew, it worked. But she was _Amber_. His girlfriend's daughter. There had to be some rule against it.

"I'm ready," Amber announced, startling him from his thoughts. He turned around and looked her up and down. He liked the knee-high socks on her for some reason. "Are you gonna get up and take me to school, or are you gonna continue looking at me like an idiot?"

He rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys. "At least you didn't call me an asshole this time."

* * *

When Jon pulled up to the school, he patted her thigh and smiled at her. She never realized that he had dimples until that moment. She didn't know how she didn't notice, but she always found dimples cute. But he was still an asshole. "Jon?"

His face looked slightly serious after hearing her tone of voice, but not serious enough for him to be concerned. "What?"

"Do you love my mother?" she asked, making sure to look straight in his eyes.

"Honestly, I can't say that I do. I enjoy being around her though." He had to respond truthfully. He couldn't lie to her; it wasn't like he made it seem like he loved her. He didn't have a reason to lie about it anyway. "Why did you ask?"

"Curiosity, asshole," she replied, light-heartedly. "Bye," she said with a wave, but he grabbed her hand a pulled her back. "What are you—" She was cut off by him placing a finger on her lips. He then placed two kisses on her cheek. "You're a fucking weir—"

"Enjoy school, asshole," he said before she finished her sentence.

"Hey! You're the asshole, you fucking… asshole!" she yelled. She stormed out of the car, and she didn't even know whether or not she was angry. It didn't feel like anger, but she reacted like it was. She didn't know why her emotions were so out of whack lately, but she'd get a headache if she tried to figure it out.

"Amber!" She turned around to see her classmate, Jana. Jana was a tall brunette who easily towered over her. She wasn't exactly _friends_ with her, but she talked to her often at school. She wouldn't exactly go out of her way to see or talk to her unless she had some other motive. "Who was that guy?" she said, raising her eyebrow.

She didn't want to say it was her mother's boyfriend, but she had to say _something_. And fast. "A family friend," she said as more of a question than a statement. "Anyway, I—"

"Went on a date?" she asked, causing Amber to look at her like she was crazy. She never went on date before, and she had no idea why she suddenly assumed that she'd go on a date when she hadn't talked about a boy to her in months. "Of course not, it's you," she said, laughing at her.

"But why did you—"

"Because I may have promised a guy that I'd get you to hang out with him," she said, looking carefully at her expression. It was safe to say that she wasn't too happy about it. "Don't worry! Look, he's gorgeous, like… male model quality. Seriously, after school we'll go meet him and if you don't like him, then that's cool, but give it a chance."

Amber looked up at her, then sighed. She wasn't sure that she wanted to be in a relationship, but she didn't know what could happen if she gave it a chance. For all she knew, it could've turned out well, but she didn't know if it was a risk she was willing to take. "I'll talk to him after school, and if he doesn't impress me, then I don't want this to happen again."

She laughed and put her arm around her shoulders. "Deal, you shut-in."

* * *

After school, Jana gave her a ride to Deana's Diner, which is where she was supposed to meet the boy, whose name was Dirk Martin. It took a while for him to show up, but when he did, Amber realized that Jana wasn't exaggerating. He _was_ model quality. "Hi," Amber said, barely above whisper. She didn't expect to be nervous, but she was.

"Hey, I'm Dirk," he said, gesturing for a handshake. "You're Amber?" he asked. She nodded and smiled. She didn't know when Jana left, but when she turned to look for her she was gone. She probably got distracted because she was staring at him so much. He had gorgeous hazel eyes, and messy dark brown hair. It was an attractive combination. And even though he was wearing a long sleeved shirt, she could tell that he was really muscular. She didn't know how she'd be able to function around him. "Let's cut to the chase," he said, breaking her out of her thoughts. He placed his hand on her forearm and smiled, revealing his gorgeous pearly whites. "I think you're really pretty, but I won't have enough time to spend with you today. But I wanna see you again. So can we go to the movies tomorrow?"

"Why not on the weekend?" she asked. She wasn't sure if her mother would be completely fine with her going out on a weekday.

"Honestly, I'm broke," he said with a smile. "Tuesdays are cheap."

She laughed, not at him, but because she'd do the same. "I'll go with you, as long you're picking me up."

He nodded and pulled out his phone. "Put your number in my phone. I have to go soon, so I'll take you home."

* * *

He didn't drop her off directly in front of her house, only because she told him to. She didn't know if Jon was home, and if he was, she didn't want the news to get to her mother without telling her first.

When she stepped in the house, it was completely silent, which she assumed meant Jon wasn't home. She dropped her backpack on the couch and made her way to the refrigerator. She wasn't even hungry; it was just her after school ritual. Sleeping was also part of it, but she wasn't tired enough yet.

"Do you have to walk so loud?" Jon asked, causing her to jump and her heart to race. He looked like he had just rolled out of bed. His hair was messy, eyes squinted, and he was only in his boxers. Amber made a mental note to complain about him not wearing enough clothes later.

It took her a while to notice that she was staring – _again_. She also made a mental note to fix that annoying problem. She turned back to the refrigerator and continued scrambling for food. "Why don't we have any donuts left?"

She looked back to Jon, only to see him shrug. "Does this body look like I eat donuts?" he asked with a smirk as he gestured to his abs.

She sighed then looked away again. "You ate six slices of pizza the other day, so shut the fuck up." She continued looking for a while before she gave up and retreated to the couch. She decided that she'd just buy pizza later.

"I'm pretty sure there's food in there," he said, sitting next to her. "But, I won't question it. How was school?"

She raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Normal?" She purposely omitted the part where she got asked on a date, but he didn't need to know that. "You know you don't have to act like you care, right?"

Jon rolled her eyes and sighed. He understood why she thought he didn't care, but he didn't know what to do to make her think otherwise. "I _do_ care, weirdo."

Amber shook her head, but she wasn't going to argue with him. "Whatever you say, Jonathan."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Honestly, I had to split this chapter into two parts, because it was getting so long! But I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

* * *

Amber didn't know how to tell her mother that she was going on a date, but she had to eventually. Her mother had been home for about an hour; with food, of course; but all she could do was start off telling her, feel a lump in her throat, and then pretend she was about to say something else. Over and over and _over_.

"Amber, your phone's ringing," Jon announced as he held it up. From a distance, she saw Dirk's name flashing across the screen, and she hurried across the room to grab it from him. She quickly accepted the phone call and went into her room for privacy.

"Hey," Dirk said, causing her to smile a little. "I just called to tell you something. What's up, though _?_ "

She plopped down on the bed and shrugged, forgetting that he couldn't see her. "Nothing, I guess. What do you need to tell me?"

"Just to tell you that if the movie ends early and we have time, I can take you somewhere else. So, you know, wear a dress," he said, causing her to panic a bit. She didn't know if she owned a good dress. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow, but I gotta go. Bye."

"Yeah, um… bye." The second he hung up, she went straight for her closet and started looking for a nice dress that would work anywhere she went.

"Amber?" Jon said with a knock. She had no idea what he wanted, but she knew he'd try to protest if she said not to come in, so she just opened the door and continued looking for the right dress. "Am I supposed to ask why you're abusing your closet?" He sat on the bed, careful not to knock over the pile of dresses that sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm looking for a dress, if it wasn't obvious enough to you," she answered. "I don't even know if you how to put clothes together properly, but you might as well be useful while you're here." She grabbed a black dress out of the pile, then looked up at him. "Close your eyes and turn around."

He did as he was told and waited for what felt like five minutes until she finally told him he could look again. "Um… wow," he said in disbelief. It was all he could manage to say. The dress was really form fitting. And short. It was just a plain black sleeveless dress, but it worked really well for her. "Where do you plan on wearing it to?" he inquired.

"None of your business," she said as she smoothed it out. "Would it look good if I wore it anywhere at all?"

"C'mon, just tell me where you're going." He stood up and walked to her. "Amber Aryn Hendricks you bet—"

"What the fuck did you just say?" Amber looked at him dead in the eyes, trying to be intimidating. But by the way he was smiling, she could tell that she didn't scare him it all.

" _Fine_ , I'm sorry, I just wanted to sound like an angry parent or something. Doesn't change the fact that I want you to tell me." She sighed and looked away. She was debating whether or not she would tell him, but even if she did, she didn't know how to say it to him. "No fucking way," he said with a shit-eating grin. "Amber Ary— I mean, um… fuck it, you know what I mean." He placed a hand on her shoulder and shook it slightly. "You either have a crush on a boy, or you're going on a date."

"Don't tell my mother," she said with a sigh before sitting on the bed. "Look, he asked me on a date today after school, and seeing as I've never—"

"Holy shit you've never been on a—"

" _No_ , I've never been on a date, jeez. Anyways I never had to tell my mother about it, and I don't know how she'll react, so I'm too scared to tell her," she confessed, looking away from him.

He sat down and snaked his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. "Well, you gotta, unless you don't wanna go on this date," he said, resting his head on hers for a brief second. "What if I tell her for you? I mean, she's more likely to say yes if I tell her, right?"

She shrugged and sighed. "Why don't I fling myself into the sun instead?"

He laughed and squeezed her shoulder a bit. "You negative Nancy." He had no idea what to say to her to make her feel better, and he thought of doing what he did before, but he didn't think it was appropriate in that situation. So he just decided to say whatever came to the top of his head. "If it makes you feel better, that dress looks great on you," he commented as he played with the hem. "I'm not gonna lie; dates aren't always good. I don't even go on dates often, just 'cause they aren't my thing, but from my experience, some are good and some are bad."

"And what happens if it's bad?" she asked, looking up him.

He shrugged. "Nothing? Try to avoid the person? That's what I do, but I don't know if that's good advice, so don't quote me on that." He began playing with her hair, struggling to find ways to cheer her up. "Make sure you use pro—"

"Jon, no," she said, shaking her head.

"So… you don't use protection when you're fu—"

Amber looked at him and she could already feel her heart beating fast. "No, that's not what I meant," she said as she tried not to look at him. "I'm a vir—"

"Holy shit you're a—"

"Oh my God, Jon, _yes_!" she exclaimed. "I don't plan on having sex on this date, so that's not an issue here."

He couldn't help but smile. It was almost sweet. "So… When do you plan on having sex?"

She grabbed a pillow and hit him with it right on his face. "You're so gross," she said with a smile, and she couldn't even believe it. She didn't even know _what_ was making her smile. He grabbed a pillow and hit her side with it, which obviously caught her off guard.

Eventually, it turned into a full-on pillow fight, where both of them were actually laughing and enjoying themselves, until they were tired and heaving next to each other on the bed. "Pillow fights are really a fight to the death, aren't they," he said out of breath.

"Obviously, not," she said, wheezing a bit at the end. "Damn, I'm unhealthy as fuck." She got up and decided to take off the dress before it got too sweaty. She was going to tell him to look away, but she was too out of breath. Instead, she decided to hide in the corner and hope he realized it meant to not look.

"You know; I actually came in here to ask if you wanted to watch wrestling with me. I don't know how it turned into this," he said, gesturing to the pillows on the floor. "But I only missed about 15 minutes of it. Do you wanna watch it with me?"

She shrugged. She didn't know much about wrestling, but she didn't think it would hurt. "Sure, I guess," she said as she fixed her shirt. "But I know nothing about it."

"It's cool, I'll tell you about it. But you're TV's bigger, so we gotta watch it in here."

She groaned and began placing her dresses in the closet one by one. "Asshole."

"Ahh, there's the nickname I love so much."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Okay, so I decided to Monday to the days I'll update. So that's Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Also, I'm currently writing chapter 17, and I'm pretty sure you'll like it. I'm saying this with full confidence.

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

* * *

"Who's that?" Amber asked as she pointed to the screen. He was tall, tan, and muscular – with eight pack abs. Damn.

"Look at you, drooling over Randy Orton," he said with smile. "Is that all you like about this?" She shook her head and shoved a mouthful of popcorn in her mouth. "Then what _do_ you like about it? Careful though, you might choke on your popcorn, piggy."

She punched him in the arm and swallowed the last bit of popcorn in her mouth. "It's entertaining, I'm just somewhat confused. I don't watch wrestling, so I'm lost in certain places. When I am, I put my focus on something that I understand." She turned her attention back to the TV, only to see him putting focus on his abs. "And what I understand is that Randy Orton is fucking hot."

He laughed at her and shook her head. "You'll understand soon enough, hang in there."

Amber's mother stood in front of the door and smiled at them laughing together. That's all she wanted; for her to accept someone she loved. To finally see it happening almost made her cry. "Do you guys need more popcorn?" she asked, realizing they were low on the buttery snack.

"I'm good; my mouth is starting to tingle anyway," Jon replied. He looked at Jon and noticed her demeanor change. It took him a while to realize what was wrong, but he remembered what they talked about before. He gently elbowed her side to get her attention. "You gotta tell her, or am I'm going to," he whispered.

She looked at him and sighed. "I'll try, but if you see me struggling, help me." She stood up and began playing with her fingers as she looked down. "Mom, I—"

"She's going on a date tomorrow," he interrupted. Amber shot him a death glare, and he honestly couldn't help but laugh. He thought it was cute how she tried to be intimidating. "What? You were struggling."

She opened her mouth to argue, but her mother spoke before she could. "Honey, you're 17; almost 18. I expect you to go on dates," she said with a smile. " _But_ you have a curfew, and since I'll be working the night shift tomorrow, Jon's gonna make sure you're home by 10pm."

"Wow, I didn't expect this," Amber said in shock, "I thought—"

"I've been begging you to come out of your shell for years. I'm excited," she said with a warm smile. "So, what's his name? And where are you going? And when will I meet him?"

She shrugged for the last question, because she honestly didn't even know if the date would go well or not. "His name is Dirk Martin, we're going to the movies, and if things go well and he agrees, then you'll meet him tomorrow," she stated. "Jana set us up because much like you, she wants me to break out of my shell."

"Well, have fun. I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep." She looked at Jon and smiled at him suggestively. "Jon, do you wanna come with me?"

His eyes were glued to the TV, so he didn't pick up on the way she looked at him. "Nah, I'm good. I'll come in when this is over." He fist-bumped as something exciting happened, causing Amber to laugh to herself.

"Okay, I guess. Well, bye guys." She shut the door behind her, and Amber plopped down on the bed.

She felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders, and she was happy to know that her mother didn't flip out or overreact about it. Now that she got that out of the way, she decided to try to understand wrestling. "Jon, why do you like wrestling so much?" she asked. She already came to her own conclusion in her head, but she wanted to him to confirm what she thought.

"Well, for one, it's fucking awesome," he stated, eyes still glued to the TV. "The fights are entertaining, especially when it's a good storyline and you can see all the emotions and stuff in it." He smiled and bounced his leg as the match almost ended. "I guess it's the anticipation. You get invested in the storyline and the wrestlers, you pick who you want to win, and then the entire match you're constantly getting excited when they do some wild shit, or wanna scream at the top of your lungs when the one you don't want to win is fucking the other guy right up. That's why I wanna make it one day." He briefly glanced at her and smiled.

"You wanna be a wrestler?" she asked in surprise. She didn't know exactly why she was surprised, but she was. "I mean, you do have the body for it," she accidently said out loud. "I mean… fuck you," she simply said.

He laughed and placed his full attention on her. "It's fine; I work out and train hard for them, so I want people to see them." He scooted closer to her and grabbed her hand. "Touch them; they're awesome," he said as he placed her hand under his shirt.

She snatched her hand back before she could touch them. She could _not_ afford to have chest pains. "Um… What training do you do," she asked, trying to change the topic. "Like, body building or something like that?"

He shook his head and continued watching the TV. "There's this place called HWA – Heartland Wrestling Association. I've been training there with this guy for a while now. He teaches me how to wrestle. I'm not that good yet, but I will be eventually," he stated. "It's really fun, though."

"Well, at least you're enjoying what you do." He didn't respond, so she assumed that he either didn't hear her, or he didn't see a reason to respond to what she said, so she just found something else to say to keep it going. "Where do you live?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Nowhere, I guess. Before this I was just bouncing around my friend's house, but at least I have somewhere stable to stay, thanks to your mother." He didn't seem at all affected by it, but he didn't want to talk about it, so he decided to drop the topic. "Well, wrestling's almost over," he said, placing a hand on her thigh. "Did you like it?"

She shrugged. "I'll give you an answer next week. I wasn't paying too much attention through it all, so I can't give a proper answer."

"Alright then. It's a date," he said with a wink.

"Asshole."

* * *

Amber woke up to the annoying buzzing of her alarm clock. She groaned and looked at the clock to check the time, even though she already knew what time it was; she was the one that set the alarm after all. She then tried to move, but realized she was pinned against the bed for some reason. She looked behind her and noticed that Jon was in the bed sleeping, and they were spooning. Strangely enough, she was calm. She wasn't exactly happy about it, but still wasn't ready to burst. "Jon," she said as she tapped him. "Wake up."

"I'm tired," he croaked.

She pushed his hand off of her and sighed. "You gotta take me to school, so wake up." He rolled off of the bed slowly and then laid on the floor with his eyes open. "Get out of my room and drink some coffee or something," she said as she got out of bed. "I'm gonna take a bath." She walked out of the room and left him there by himself.

Jon was exhausted. He fell asleep at around 3am after watching random things after wrestling ended. Amber fell asleep before him, which is the only reason she didn't kick him out. He didn't even mean to sleep in her room, but he couldn't muster up enough energy to drag himself to her mother's room. His intention was to take a quick nap and then go over, but her bed – and her skin – was really soft and comfortable. He was happy that she didn't make a huge fuss out of it.

He finally got off of the ground and made his way to the kitchen to get a Red Bull out of the refrigerator. "You didn't come in last night." He turned around and saw Mara standing there. "I waited for you."

He pursed his lips and shrugged. "I passed out; I'm sorry," he apologized. "If it makes you feel better, she didn't argue with me." He gave her a weak smile, because he was tired. He could tell he disappointed her, but at least he was putting in effort to bond with Amber, so he hoped she could see that part of it.

"It's okay; just do me a favor." She sighed and walked closer to him just so that Amber wouldn't hear what she was about to say. "I think, you know, you're forgetting about me. I'm happy that you and Amber are getting along; I mean, it's a miracle. But just keep me and my feelings in mind, please?"

He nodded; it wasn't like it was something hard to agree to. "How about a date night at some point this week," he suggested.

She smiled and nodded. "I'd love that. But, I'm gonna go to back in and get some more sleep. Later today, you're gonna get lucky," she said suggestively with a wink. "Bye."

* * *

"Why haven't you learned to drive?" Jon asked to break the silence. They barely said a word to each other, and they were almost there.

She shrugged and continued looking out of the window. "My mom just never taught me or showed an interest in it. I don't care either way; driving seems scary," she replied.

"How?"

"I don't know…" she sighed and looked at him. "Any given moment, some drunk driver can crash into us. The brakes can fail and then you crash. You can swerve off the road by accident. When it gets cold and the roads are slippery, you slide off the road and then crash, bang, smoke. Poof; we'll both be gone."

He chuckled and shook his head. "You're cynical," he commented. "But driving isn't all that bad. You get to places faster and comfortably. When it's hot, you have air conditioning and when it's cold you have heat." He glanced at her and placed a hand on her thigh. "I can teach you if you want, but that's illegal so… we'll have to try it somewhere secluded."

She shrugged. She wasn't too fond of driving, but she was willing to try. "I'll think about it," she simply said. He pulled up to the school and mentally prepared herself to deal with everyone. "Well, bye."

He put his hand on her arm before she got out of the car. "You forgot something." He puckered his lips jokingly, just to get on her nerves.

"Jon, you're an asshole." She sat there for a moment, staring at his lips. Pink and cute. For some reason, she had an overwhelming desire to kiss him. She could feel her heart racing. _Damn_ , she thought. _I thought I finally got over the problem_. She sighed and put her cheek on his lips, dangerously close to where his mouth was, then hurried out of the car.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** All I have to say about this is, enjoy.

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

* * *

"Jonathan! Mother!" Amber dropped her backpack on the floor and ran straight to her room. She could feel the nervousness set in as it got closer and closer to 6pm. She felt queasy, and she almost wanted to cancel on him, but she knew she couldn't.

Sighing, she walked out of the room to see why Jon and her mother didn't answer her. The house was completely silent, but she didn't let that fool her like last time. She knocked on her mother's bedroom and didn't get an answer. "Dammit," she mumbled.

Amber looked at the clock and instantly panicked when she saw that it was 4:30, and she needed advice quickly and they weren't home. She groaned and decided she'd start getting ready in the meantime. If they weren't home before she had to leave, she had to just wing it and quite possibly embarrass herself.

* * *

"She's home," Jon mumbled as he stepped into the house. "How do you think she's acting?" he asked Mara, even though he already knew the answer. "Nervous?"

She shrugged and placed her purse on the counter. "I haven't had to deal with this at all. I think _I'm_ nervous," she said with an awkward smile. "I don't want her to be hurt if this doesn't go well. At the same time, she's almost 18. Eventually she has to learn about heartbreak," she explained, sighing at the end. "If she's not home by at least 10:15, call me."

He nodded and snaked his arm around her shoulders. "She's a big girl, Mara; she'll be fine. Don't worry too much."

Amber came out of her room in an oversized t-shirt and practically screamed. "I need help immediately; any one of you."

Jon almost laughed at how her eyes looked; like she was desperate for help, even though her issue probably had something to do with her stupid date. "I can help if you want," he offered.

"Awesome," she said as she grabbed his hand and dragged him into the room and shut the door. She pushed him on the bed and grabbed a teddy bear off of the dresser. "I can't believe I'm about to ask you this, but who better than the sleaze ball himself."

"What is it?" He noticed that her face was flushed and she was pacing back and forth. He chalked it up to nervousness, and he didn't expect to be wrong.

"I… need you to explain, um… something." She sighed. She didn't know how to get the words out. The thought was in her head, she just… didn't know how to say it. Especially to him, since he'd probably make fun of her for asking a question that people her age should already know. "Okay, before I say this, I've done it before, but it was short and I barely remember it since I was like… twelve."

"I thought you said you never had sex before," he said as he looked at her with confusion.

"No, Jon. I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about… Um…" She sighed and pressed her lips against her teddy bear. "I'm talking about that."

He snorted, which caused her to glare at him. He couldn't stop himself. It was too funny; having to teach someone his age to kiss. He couldn't believe how inexperienced she was. "Sit down, you pipsqueak," he said as he tapped the bed. She looked extremely attentive. It was hilarious to him, but he tried his hardest not to laugh at the whole thing. "Okay, first you like… lightly graze his lips," he said, and almost burst into laughter when he saw her demonstrating it on her teddy bear. "Yeah… um… like that."

"What else?" she asked like an eager kid.

He shrugged. He knew what to do, he just didn't get how to explain it properly. It was almost impossible. "Move your lips around? Use pressure?" he said, unsure on if she understood. He sighed when he realized that she wasn't demonstrating on her teddy bear. "Okay, just…" he grabbed the teddy bear out of her hands and threw it on the bed away from them then scooted closer to her.

"Jon, what are you—"

" _Relax_ ," he said, placing his finger on her lips. "Look, I don't know how to explain it, so I'm gonna do it, and hopefully you'll understand."

"But Jon, I—" He cut her off by placing a quick peck on her lips, and she could feel her heart racing; _again_.

"You talk _way_ too much. Just relax." He lifted her chin up and put his face close to hers, to the point where he could feel her breath on his face. "Like I said, lightly graze your lips against his," he said as he demonstrated it on her. He could practically hear her heart pounding. He knew that it was somewhat wrong, but he wanted to help. That's the excuse he was going with. "Now um…" he sighed and applied pressure to her lips. They were soft and tasted like cinnamon. He could feel her doing the right movements, which was great, but it needed some work. He pulled away and rubbed her shoulder. "Relax, Amber. You're not opening your mouth enough." She nodded and went back in, applying the right amount of pressure and opening her mouth properly. He slipped his tongue in her mouth, startling her. She jumped a bit, but she didn't pull away. He grabbed her hands and placed one on the back of his head and one on his shoulder. He pulled away and smiled. "You're getting it, but you had your hands just… there. I like it when I'm being touched during the kiss."

"Jon… I don't know if we should do this," she said with a sigh. "Isn't this, you know… wrong?"

He scooted away and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm not gonna force you to continue if you don't want to, so if you're done, then say it. You learned what you needed anyway."

She sighed and turned away from him. "Go," she simply said. "I have to get ready."

* * *

"I'm outside," Dirk said over the phone.

"I'm coming," she said, then hung up. "Shit!" she exclaimed as she scrambled to get her phone and her purse. Jon knocked on the door and then stepped in the room.

"Is he here?" he asked after noticing her looking all nervous again. He didn't go in there to talk about that, though. He wanted to apologize for kissing her. She was being distant, and he wanted her to go back to being the way she was before, and while he didn't regret it, since it was a nice kiss, he was still sorry.

"Yes, he's here. So, I'm about to go now." She brushed past him, and before he knew it, she was out of the door.

He stared at the door and sighed. He just hoped that she came back home in one piece so they could go back to normal.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

* * *

"You look really good," Dirk commented as he drove off. "I can't wait to see you properly."

She could feel her cheeks getting hot. It was nice to get some male attention rather than just fading into the background as usual. "Thanks," she said, barely above whisper. She was clearly nervous, but she hoped that he would be oblivious to the true extent. "What are we gonna watch?"

"Worry about that later," he stated. He took a left turn where he was supposed to take a right, but Amber tried not to worry about it. She chalked it up to being just a shortcut and left it at that. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," she said in an attempt to be funny. He didn't even crack a smile. Amber felt like she was the most awkward human being to ever roam the earth. "Go ahead," she sighed

The car stopped in front of a house she didn't recognize, but she assumed it was his. "Are you a virgin?" he asked as he unbuckled his seat belt. "If you don't want to answer, that's totally fine; the answer wouldn't change anything either way."

There was an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach, but he smiled at her and it made her feel slightly at ease. "I am, but what about the—" He pressed his lips against hers, and she couldn't help but forget what she was about to say. She didn't expect it, so of course it took her a while to kiss back. When she did, she tried to remember what Jon taught her

She placed a hand on the back of his neck and the next on his arm and tried to scoot closer to him. As she did this, all she could think about was Jon and the kiss they shared earlier. How soft and wet his lips were, and how much it made her entire body tingle. Amazing, but _extremely_ wrong.

His hand traveled to her thigh, causing her to jump a bit. It caught her off guard, but she doubted anything would come from it. After all, Jon almost always had his hand on her thigh, and the most they did was kiss, and it was just a lesson. Just a stupid, meaningless lesson.

However, she realized something was off when he slid his hand further up her thigh. She pulled away, only for him to pull her back to kiss her again. "Dirk," she said in between kisses. His hand still kept moving further up, eventually touching her _strictly_ forbidden area. That's where she really drew the line. "Stop!" she yelled as she moved back in her seat. "I didn't come here to do this. I'm _not_ gonna do it."

He sighed and leaned back in his seat. "You'll come around," he said, mostly to himself. "Is it because you're a virgin?"

She creased her eyebrows and scoffed. "No, it's because I barely know you. That was the point of this date; to get to know you." She folded her arms and stared out of the window. "I just wanna to go to the movies."

"Not until after," he said as he exited the car.

"Not until after wha— Hey, let me go!" she yelled as he struggled to pull her out of the car. "I'm not gonna have sex with you!"

He was completely silent as he fought to get her out of the car. It was almost like he was desensitized to what he was planning to do. Eventually, he was able to get her out of the car, and she fell on her stomach. He then dragged her by her wrist causing her to get a few scrapes on her knees and shin. After being able to get her footing, she yanked her wrist away from him. "If I have to force you, then I'll do it," Dirk said, looking at her menacingly.

She didn't know exactly what to do, but she had a vague idea of how to get herself out of the situation after listening to Jon explain how to fight to her mother. She balled up her fist and punched him in right on the chin with as much force as she could muster. Her goal was to knock him unconscious, but if she stunned him, she'd use the opportunity to get far enough to where the streets are busy then get the hell back to her house.

And he was stunned. She quickly collected her things and ran as fast as she could. She didn't even notice she was crying until she felt her hot, salty tears hit her lips.

It was just her luck that her first "date" went as terribly as it did. All she wanted to do was tend to her injuries – both physical and mental - and sleep for the rest of her life.

* * *

Jon was pacing back and forth, fully dressed for once. It was only 7:52, but he was anxious. He told Mara to calm down and not to worry about her, but he was the one that needed to be calmed down. Anything could've happened, but he couldn't go out looking for blood until it was 10:00.

He pulled out his phone to check on her, but he heard the door swing open, and immediately was on alert. Mara didn't finish working until 11:00 and he figured that Amber would most likely be home at 10:00, so he didn't expect anyone to come over. He tensed his muscles and crept to the front door as quietly as he could, but then relaxed when he saw the tiny raven-haired girl. "Why are you home so early?" he asked, genuinely confused. He didn't think she'd ditch her date after all the stress she put herself through.

She looked up at him, then back down. It wasn't clear if it was smart to tell him, so she just chose the safer option. She walked past him and tried her best to dry her tears so she could play it off.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, trailing behind her. He tried to weigh the possibilities of why she was acting the way she was, but he couldn't help properly until he knew for sure what the problem was. "Is it because of the kiss?"

"No," she said almost instantly. "The date went almost perfect. We were gonna watch a movie, but we didn't go to the movies. We went to the park, we ate, and that was that," she lied. She just really wanted to forget the entire thing and never attempt to date again.

"Why are your knees and shins all banged up?" he asked, placing his hands on his hips. "Did you… you gave him head didn't you?" He felt his blood boil the minute the words left his mouth, but tried to hide his true feelings.

She walked away from him and went to the bathroom to get rubbing alcohol and cotton. "I didn't, Jon. The most that happened was a kiss," she clarified. "The cuts are from when I fell."

"And that's why you're so bummed out? Because you embarrassed yourself?"

Slowly nodding, she gave him a weak smile. "I'm a loser, I guess." She sat down by the couch and began placing a cotton ball doused in rubbing alcohol on her knee, hissing at the burning sensation.

"Are you sure that's all that happened?" He didn't think "tripping and falling" was something for her to be _this_ depressed about. Slightly? Yes. Especially since she said things went almost perfectly. He knew something was up, but he just had to get it out of her somehow. "I care about you," he said, making his way towards the couch. "I just want you to be happy. Whatever it takes, I'll do it." He sat on the couch next to her and grabbed the cotton from her hands and began helping her with her scrapes.

Tears slid down her face as she replayed what happened in her head. She quickly wiped them away, but she wasn't fast enough. Jon took his thumb and wiped away a stray tear. He didn't ask her what was wrong or anything; just wiped it away and continued dabbing her cut. She sighed and began playing with the end of her hair. "Don't tell my mother," she began. "The plan was to go to the movies, and he said we might go somewhere else afterwards, but he didn't tell me where." She felt a huge lump in her throat, and almost choked. She took a deep breath and continued. "Well, he drove me to some house. I don't even know if it was his or not, but we started kissing and he tried to touch my… you know. Well he _did_ , actually."

"Yeah, what else?" He didn't want to react too quickly, so he had to try his hardest to calm himself down and listen to the whole thing.

"I didn't like it. I wasn't ready to have sex. So I just told him that I want to go the movies, then he got out of the car and dragged me out. That's where I got the scrapes from." She held the area around her shin as he continues dabbing her wounds with rubbing alcohol. It was really burning a lot. "Anyway, long story short, I punched him in the face and ran home."

Jon stood up, stretched, and cracked his back. "Well, I'm proud of you for defending yourself." he said, trying to cheer her up. He was angry as fuck, but he didn't want her to see that. He sat back down and pulled her in for a warm embrace. "I don't exactly know how to help, but if it makes you feel better, I'm here for you."

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow," she said, even though she knew she'd have to. Her mother wouldn't allow it unless she had a good reason.

"Then don't," he said with a shrug. "I don't know what to tell you, honestly." He sighed and rubbed her shoulder. "I'll tell your mother you got food poisoning and she'll call the school and then when she's at work you can act like you're not sick. Sound good?"

She nodded. At that moment, she needed comfort more than ever. The kiss they shared had to be put to the back of her mind, just until everything blew over. Until then Jon had to be her temporary crutch.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Well… losing confidence again. I don't really have the motivation to continue writing. I have up to chapter 18 written, but I don't think enough people enjoy it for me to finish it. I've mostly gotten one or no reviews on every chapter which is kind of discouraging. But, I'll try to finish this story regardless, but updates may take longer if I don't catch up.

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

* * *

Jon warned Mara beforehand to not press Amber about her mess of a date so he could avoid her breaking down again. He definitely did _not_ like seeing her cry. To keep in line with the plan, he decided to tell her mother the same bogus story Amber told him at first, and sprinkled in the lie about food poisoning. Everything went smoothly; her mother accepted it and called the school in the morning, explaining to the principle that she had food poisoning.

Amber used the opportunity to sleep in, since that wasn't something she got the chance to do often. It almost gave her a rush to wake up at 11:00, knowing that the rest of her classmates were stuck in Business class most likely bored out of their minds. No one would miss her absence anyway; no one cared.

Light flooded her room as her door swung open, her mother standing in front of it looking genuinely concerned. It just made her feel even more guilty, but it was already too late to back out of it. "I'm going to work now," she announced, walking to further into room. "If you need it, I left medicine on the counter. For food, Jon can make spaghetti, or you can order some food." She gave her a smile then bent down to kiss her forehead before leaving the room.

The second she heard the clicking from the front door locking, she rushed out of bed and jumped straight in the shower. That needed to get out of the way as soon as possible.

Jon watched as she power walked to the bathroom without saying a word to him. He would've feigned offence, but he had to sort out the food issue first. From what her mother told him, she was _extremely_ picky, but enjoyed Italian food and things with garlic. Cooking was definitely out of the question; he wasn't confident enough to cook for anyone else. Eventually, he settled on ordering what he knew she enjoyed; pizza.

In the meantime, he stretched and paced around the house. He had no clue what he'd do with Amber, since he had to train, but the choice was hers. Knowing how introverted she was, he figured that she'd stay there by herself and did whatever the hell she did when she was home alone.

It took him a while to notice that Amber was already out of the shower and dressed. He really needed to be more observant. "I ordered pizza," he stated, still stretching.

"You read my mind," she said as she poured some juice for herself. "So, are we supposed to be doing something specific, or are we just bumming around the house?" she asked, making her way to the couch. "I prefer the latter, just so you know."

Shrugging, he sat down next to her. "Well… _I'm_ supposed to go train in about an hour. I don't know what you plan to do but—"

"How long?" she inquired, trying to estimate how long she'd have to sit there and do nothing but watch.

"Four hours. I don't know if you want to come or not; I didn't think to ask you because I thought you wouldn't be interested." She shrugged and leaned back into the couch. For some reason, he just wanted to hug her. It was just this urge that came over him, but he didn't try to fight her off. He scooted closer to her and pulled her in. "Your hair smells good," he commented.

"Yeah, that's because I wash it; something you're not familiar with," she said with a smirk.

"Oh, and I'm the asshole in this relationshi—friendship?"

Amber stared off to the other side of the room. She didn't know whether or not she should acknowledge it, but regardless, it caused a lump to form in her throat. She swallowed hard and sighed, bringing her eyes back to him. "Yeah, umm… I guess," she managed. She shook her head and moved away from him, not enough to get his arm off of her. "I think I'll go with you to that heartbeat wrestling thing." She knew she got the name wrong, but she seriously couldn't remember what it was called.

"Heartland Wrestling Association," he corrected her with a snort. "Anyway, are you sure?"

She nodded. "I feel like I'd be more interested in wrestling if I was there physically." He shrugged, then got up off of the couch. "Where are you going?"

He stretched, then swiftly picked her up and put her over his shoulder. Laughter filled the room as he made his way to her bedroom while she wiggled and writhed to get off his shoulders. He kicked open her door and dropped her on the bed. "Jesus fuck I'm tired," he panted, his hands on his hips

"What the fuck was that for?" she asked in a light tone. He plopped down next to her and smiled, revealing his gorgeous dimples. Clearly out of breath, Amber took the opportunity to get back at him. Reaching across, her fingers lightly brushed the skin on his neck, causing him to snort and bring his shoulder up to his head to make it difficult for her. "You look like a fucking turtle," she laughed.

He grabbed both of her hands and climbed on top of her, trying to catch his breath before he spoke again. "You look like you just lost this war," he panted, smiling down at her. Her hair was messy and splayed out across the bed, she was smiling up at him; it made his mind wander. He couldn't even resist it.

He bent down and hoped he was making the right choice. Suddenly, right before their lips connected, the doorbell rang, causing him to jump off of her. "I, uhh… I think that's the pizza guy," she mumbled.

He sighed and left the room. He was mentally kicking himself for almost letting that happen. It wasn't even a matter of making her uncomfortable at that point. It was just _wrong_ , and he didn't want to drag her down with him.

He barely said a word to the pizza guy when he opened the door. He just simply gave him the money, grabbed the pizza, and slammed the door in his face. He went to give Amber the pizza, and when he walked in, she was pacing back and forth. "Shit," he said aloud. He put the pizza on the bed and walked up to her. "I'm sorry, Amber. I don't want—"

Their lips pressed together and it was so good. It was a shy one, but somehow still felt passionate. She titled her head slightly to gain more access to his mouth. Suddenly, the kiss stopped being hesitant. Jon pressed himself against her and cupped her face shivering slightly as he slipped his tongue in her mouth. A quiet groan escaped her mouth, then she felt him pick her up, temporarily breaking the kiss. He dropped her on the bed, careful not to disturb the pizza, then climbed on top of her. Nothing happened. _Nothing_. He just stared at her, not doing or saying anything. She grabbed the back of his neck to pull him down, only to be met with resistance and Jon getting off of her, cursing under his breath. She watched as he chewed on his finger nervously, shocked and confused – and maybe a bit turned on. "I thought you wanted to—"

"I didn't," he interjected, facing her. They stared at each other for a while before Jon turned to the door, placing his hand on the doorknob. "I think you should stay home." Not letting her get a word in, he walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** You guys are amazing! The reviews you guys left really made me happy, so I'd like to give you guys a big thanks for that!

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

* * *

Drenched in sweat, Jon finished up the last bit of his sit ups. The constant working out and having to focus on not fucking up his moves was enough to get his mind off of what happened with Amber. That was until he was on his way to the house, of course.

Looking back at it, he probably made the situation worse by telling her not to come. However, it was the best he could think about at the time. Everything was just too weird for them to continue being close to each other. He just wanted everything to be normal again. Before he made the decision to "teach" her how to kiss.

As he parked into the driveway, he had the mindset to just expect the worst. The worst being Amber telling her mother that they kissed.

 _This_ wasn't what he expected. She wasn't home. The first thing he did was check her room, and there was no sign of her. She wasn't in the bathroom. She wasn't in her mother's bedroom. She wasn't in the backyard; she was just gone without a trace.

She didn't run away. She _couldn't_. All her things were still there after all.

Jon laughed nervously and picked up his phone to call her. It'd be his fault if she was gone; he was the one that left her alone. He needed to know where she was before her mother came home. The phone rang a few times before she picked up, and he immediately breathed a sigh of relief. "Jesus, you could've left a note or somethin'" he drawled. There was a lot of noise in the background, and it his first thought was that she was at a party. That was until he realized that she was well… A loser.

"I'm at the mall," she almost yelled over the noise. "It's gonna close soon, so I'll be home eventually," she assured him. She wasn't doing anything in the mall; just wandering around and trying on clothes that she couldn't afford. It wasn't something she did often. Or at _all_ , for that matter. She acted on impulse, which usually didn't do her any good, but this time, it didn't do anything but bore her out of her mind.

"When's _eventually_?" he asked, his head rested against her bedroom door. "Y'know, _both_ of our asses will be on the line if you're not home before your mother gets home. Especially if I'm home and I don't know exactly where you are. You're supposed to be pretending to have food poisoning." He didn't know if she could sense the urgency in his voice, but he hoped she did.

She was already in the parking lot, ready to go home. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dirk and Jana talking. "I'm on my way home, but start driving; whenever you see me, just stop." She didn't bother to let him speak; she just flipped her phone shut then began ducking behind people to get out of the situation.

Luck was not on her side that day.

They began walking hand-in-hand in her direction. Of course they saw her. _Of course_. Jana pointed, then jogged over to her. "Why weren't you in school?" she asked. She half expected Jana to be hostile, seeing as Dirk probably told her how bad the date was, except leaving out the part where he assaulted her.

"I hope you don't mind…" she trailed off, gesturing to Dirk. "I mean, I was gonna tell you today anyway, so I'm glad I saw you. Oh, and why didn't you come to school? And why'd you ditch him?"

Amber almost scoffed. Technically it was the truth, but it wasn't the full truth. "I got food poisoning. And I, uhh… felt awkward." She could see Dirk in the distance, pacing around and what looked like praying. He was obviously scared that she'd tell Jana the truth. She honestly didn't even know if she wanted to tell her, since she'd probably brush it off. "He's not that great," she simply said.

"Well, you missed out on an _amazing_ thing," she said with a shrug. "Anyway, we're going to hang out at that abandoned building. You wanna come with us?"

The thought of it couldn't sound more unappealing. Plus, she had to go home anyway. "No thanks. I gotta go." Without letting her get another word in, she gave her a quick wave and turned on her heel.

She had no idea how she even got to be friends with Jana. They were too completely different people. There was no such thing as "popularity" at her school. Probably because no one cared about fighting for male attention since there wasn't a penis in sight. The only thing that separated people was how outgoing they were.

And Jana was outgoing. Sometimes _too_ outgoing, but that was just how she felt. And for her to associate with Amber was a surprise.

Amber's phone vibrated, and she saw Jon's name on the screen. She flipped it open, hoping that he wasn't upset that she hung up on him. That was the _last_ thing she needed. "Where are you?" he asked, sounding more calm than the last time.

She looked around and stopped walking. "Near the park," she replied.

"Good. I'm right there." Within a minute, he pulled up next to her. He didn't look happy. He just looked… there. As if he felt nothing at the moment. He gestured for her to get in the car after a while of her just standing there. She slid into the backseat, deciding it would be safer.

Everything was completely silent. Amber was almost sure that she'd be able to hear a pin drop. She sighed and leaned back into the seat, deciding she couldn't just leave the situation alone. "Jon can we—"

"No."

"But I just—"

"No."

"Jon—"

" _No_!"

She chewed on her bottom lip, surprised at Jon's sudden firmness. However, she got the message loud and clear; he _definitely_ didn't want to talk about it.

* * *

It was the first time in a while that they had dinner together, which of course, was bad timing. Her mother tried to strike up a conversation every once in a while, only for both Amber and Jon to barely say a word. Every once in a while Amber would look at him, only for him to avert his eyes quickly. It just made her regret kissing him even more.

"So… Nothing interesting happened today?" her mother asked again, only because she ran out of things to say. They both shook their heads, even though it was _clearly_ a lie. " _Nothing?_ " she asked again, practically begging them to give a proper response.

"Nope," Jon said, popping the 'p.' He got up from his seat, leaving Amber and her mother there alone.

"Someone talk. _Please_ ," her mother begged. "Before I left, you two were fine. Now you're barely talking to me, _and_ each other." Letting out a sigh, she made her way to her room, not bothering to wash her bowl. "Forget it; I'm just gonna sleep."

Jon and Amber looked at each other, as if asking each other what they'd do to fix it. "I guess I'll deal with it," he said as he made his way to their shared bedroom.

Amber sat there alone, her bowl of spaghetti empty. She placed it in the sink, hoping that someone would wash it eventually. She just needed to be alone. She grabbed some clothes from her room, then made her way to the bathroom, hoping that the hot stream of water would help relieve her of stress.

Instead, the minute the water touched her skin, tears came down instead. All she could think of was how she messed up what she had with Jon; _whatever_ it was. And then she thought of something that should have been her first thought; she kissed her mother's boyfriend. The same person who went through a lot to make her happy. And that only made everything worse.

* * *

The house was almost as quiet as the car. The only thing that made it not so quiet was her TV, which she wasn't paying much attention to. She was actually kind of dozing off. Just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard three soft knocks on the door, followed by Jon walking in without waiting for her to answer. He was fully clothed; he even had on shoes. He also had the same duffel bag he came there with slung over his shoulder. "Can we, um… talk?" he asked, not stepping further than her door.

She nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. He shut the door behind him, placing the duffel bag on the floor. "What do you wanna talk about?" she asked, careful not to hint that she thought he wanted to talk about what happened earlier, although she was fairly sure that was what he wanted.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you today," he apologized, not looking up at her. "It's just that when we kissed before, there was a reason; and maybe it wasn't a good reason, but, y'know… a reason." He sighed, ruffling his hair a bit. "The last time, there _was_ no reason. And I don't wanna be responsible for destroying the relationship between you and your mom."

She nodded. He wasn't wrong; if her mother found out, the relationship _would_ be destroyed. Or at least, it wouldn't be the same. But, she had to admit, she felt something with Jon. When she kissed Dirk, it wasn't the same; it just felt like lips touching. But with Jon, it was like the whole world didn't exist. She wasn't experienced in that department, so she had no idea if it was something he felt too, or it was even important. "I understand," she finally stated. "But, do you… feel the same thing?" She couldn't see her face, but the way her whole face was heated, she could easily tell that was blushing. She couldn't believe she was actually bringing it up.

"Feel what?" he asked finally looking at her. "Are you talking about like… when we kiss?"

She slowly nodded. "What do you feel?"

He shrugged. "Nothing special." Her heart broke. It literally felt like her heart had shattered, and there was big, almost immobile lump in her throat. She had to keep her composure; when he was gone, she could cry. But while he was there, she had to suck it up and pretend everything was fine. "Anyway, I just came to apologize, and um… to tell you that I'm not gonna be around for a while," he said, rising from the bed.

The duffel bag finally made sense. She figured he was gonna train or something, but she didn't expect him to leave. And all she could think was that it was her fault; she should've pushed him off and not pull him back for another kiss. "When are you coming back?" she asked, hoping that he wouldn't be gone long.

He shrugged, picking up his bag. "I'll be back, though. Eventually." He sighed, noticing how sad she looked. In all honesty, he thought leaving was the best thing to do. If he gave it time, then eventually they'd be comfortable acting like the whole thing never happened. "If it makes you feel any better, your lips are soft," he said in order to lighten the mood. But it obviously did nothing to help.

He decided one last time would just get everything out of their systems.

He removed his bag again and motioned for her to come to him. She did so, slowly, mostly because she was confused. But then his intentions were clear when he pulled her closer and placed a finger under her chin. He took a deep breath and lightly pressed his lips against hers. He didn't expect it to get any further than that, but something told him that wasn't enough.

He pulled away and picked her up, shocking her. Soon after, she responded by wrapping her legs around his waist. They spent some time just looking at each other, before Amber finally smashed her lips against his, feeling the same thing she felt the last times; like the world around them didn't exist. Like the earth was just a white noise surrounding them.

And at that moment, she didn't care that he didn't feel the same thing; she just wanted to do it. He had to enjoy it at least a little bit, seeing as he initiated it. His tongue slid into her mouth, exploring every inch of it. Simultaneously, his hands slid under her shirt, and feeling his bare skin on her back was just somewhat… arousing. She didn't know why, but it was.

He groaned into her mouth and that made him realize that it was going too far. He pulled away and looked her right in the eyes. She removed herself from his body then sighed. She let it happen again _and_ he was still leaving.

"See you… whenever." He picked up his bag and left, not looking back at her.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Just five more chapters until my favorite chapter! I can't wait, but I'm also nervous.

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

* * *

It was two weeks after Jon decided to leave. There was no doubt that her mother saw him often; she was out of the house a lot just like she was before she introduced them to each other. Amber, however, hadn't heard from or seen him at all. For a few days, she did cry. Soon enough, though, she realized crying wouldn't bring him back.

She wasn't exactly happy, but she learned to live with it. Today, she was about to possibly have fun. It was Jana's 18th birthday, so she was having a big pool party. Jana picked her up to help her with the finishing touches, since her parents promised to stay away for two days.

"Do you plan on actually partying, or are you just gonna stay in my room all night?" she asked, half-jokingly.

Amber honestly didn't know. She _did_ want the experience, but she also didn't do too well in big crowds. She was thinking like she even _had_ a choice. Jana would drag her by her hair if she chose to stay in her room. "Party."

She bounced on the balls of her feet and clapped, obviously happy with her decision. "Awesome. It wouldn't be a party without getting my lame friend to open up," she said before walking off.

She shook her head, then removed her sun dress, revealing a black bikini underneath. She wanted to take a dip before the pool became over-crowded.

Dipping her toe in, she quickly pulled it back with a hiss. It was really cold. "Fuck it," she said to herself. She went over to the deep end and dived right in. It didn't take long for her body to get used to the coldness. It was nice and peaceful. It was silent except for birds chirping in a distance. There was a nice breeze blowing, and there was a really nice view. She dipped back underwater after twenty minutes, just because. As she swam underwater, she could here muffled voices, indicating that other people had arrived, therefore ruining her fun.

She climbed out of the pool and went back in the house to look for Jana, seeing her talking to a few more people. "Oh, hey!" Jana said, motioning for her to come over. She was dripping wet, and the cold breeze hitting her skin made her almost shiver, but she tried to bear it for the sake of not embarrassing herself in front of people she knew. "These guys are awesome; they have alcohol!" she said excitedly.

She knew exactly where Jana was going with it. Her first thought was _definitely_ not. It practically smelled like death. "Jana I'm no—"

"Come _on_! It'll loosen you up; I know how much you don't like being around people."

Good point. Plus, she kinda felt guilty for not getting Jana a present, so she felt obligated to do it. As long as she had one, she'd be fine anyway. " _One_ beer, and that's it."

Except she didn't have one. After her first one, being around people seemed less nerve-wracking. Then after the second one, _talking_ to people was a breeze. By the seventh one, she was gone.

By that point, the party was full, therefore drunkenness wasn't uncommon; everyone had a drink in their hand, and everyone was a bit wild. And the music was blaringly loud, so everyone was focused on dancing.

She was leaning against the wall outside; the pool had gotten too full and she barely had enough room to swim freely. She couldn't tell whether or not she was drunk, but anyone with eyes could've seen it. When she walked, she was tripping over her own feet. When she spoke, she could barely sound coherent.

And yet, she wanted more alcohol. She pushed herself off of the wall; almost falling on her face in the process; and made her way inside the house, immediately sobering up when she spotted an all too familiar face in the corner of her eye.

As much as she wanted to talk to him, she just… couldn't. Maybe she just wanted him to be the one to talk to her first. Either way, she wanted to go to Jana's room immediately. She tried her hardest to walk as steadily as possible, except she couldn't. The more effort she put into it, the more ridiculous she looked.

Then she fell. And people looked at her. It was at that point when she realized she was really drunk. She awkwardly got up and then continued trying to make her way towards the stairs. A few awkward stumbles later, she was near the stairs, then felt an arm on her bicep. Her stomach fluttered a bit, thinking that it was Jon who came over to her. "Jon?" She turned around and frowned when she saw who it was. "Dirk…"

"Are you drunk?" he asked, feigning concern. "Do you need me to take you upstairs?"

She was drunk, but not drunk enough to go anywhere with him. "No," she replied, trying to walk away from him. However, at that moment, her legs gave out, and she was on the floor trying to regain her balance.

 _Fine_ , maybe she did need help, but she didn't want to accept his help specifically. However, there wasn't exactly anyone else willing to help her. "Lemme help you." He actually was helping at first. But then when she was fully upright, his hand slid down to her butt.

And just as she was about to tell him to stop, she felt a tap on her shoulder, and her heart jumped, thinking it was Jana who saw it and got the wrong idea. However, she was happy to see the person who towered over her. "Need help?" he asked over the roar of the party.

"I—"

"It's taken care of, buddy," Dirk said, still grabbing her butt.

Amber shook her head, indicating that it _wasn't_ taken care of. "I don't—"

"Do you know him?" Jon asked, looking down at his hand on her butt then back at him. He didn't want to do anything drastic before he knew for sure that Amber didn't want it, no matter how much the sight of it made his blood boil.

"Dirk," she mouthed to him quickly, realizing he was still trying to take her upstairs.

Without hesitation, he grabbed Amber's hand and pushed Dirk off of her, causing her stumble a bit. He held her close to him so she wouldn't fall again. He was just glad that she was at least partially fine.

He didn't even know why she was at the party, or why she was drunk, but he didn't care about that; he just didn't want to stand by and watch something bad happen to her. The moment he walked into the party, he saw her swimming and playing some games with a few people. He didn't talk to her, just watched her from a distance. The only reason he didn't talk to her was so her fun wouldn't be ruined by whatever was happening with them.

He had to step in this time, though. Then he'd be gone again. Unfortunately, Dirk wasn't making it easy for him. "She's with me," he said, trying to convince him to let him go upstairs with her.

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head, picking Amber up bridal style to carry her upstairs. "I'm her boyfriend; she isn't with anyone but me," he lied before walking off.

Her heart stopped. She knew it was just to scare him off, but it made her blush. Or maybe the heat in her face was from the alcohol; either way, her face was on fire.

He opened the first door he saw and placed her gently on the bed. "You okay?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. She slowly nodded. "So… you wanna tell me why you're at this party?"

"It's my friend's birthday party," she stated. At that point, she was a little less drunk, so she was able to speak a little better. "What are you doing here?"

He didn't even know who's party it was; all he knew was that there was a party, and that anyone could go. "I like parties," he replied. She looked like a mess. Her hair was all over the place, her skin was red, and…

Her nipple was poking out of her bikini. Dammit. He tried to cover it himself, but his hand brushed against her nipple, causing her to gasp. Maybe that was a bad idea. "Jon…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," he said as he shook his head. "I'm just gonna go back—"

She had the overwhelming urge to kiss him. She pulled his head down, but stopped, letting their lips barely touch. "Do you wanna kiss me?" she asked against his lips. "I wanna kiss you, Jon."

"God, I'd fuckin' break you," Jon said, brushing his hands along her arms. But he couldn't. Doing would defeat the purpose of him leaving.

He pulled away from her, then walked out of the room, chalking it up to her not being in her right mind.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** I've completed up to chapter 19 and I'm halfway through chapter 20. I don't exactly know how long this story will go for, but I do know how it's going to end.

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

* * *

"Is she dead?"

"No, just your typical first time underage drinker."

"She looks dead."

"She isn't fuckin' dead, man. Just— Jesus fuck."

Amber had just leaned over the bed and puked on what she thought was the floor, but it turned out to be someone's shoes. She looked up to see who the unlucky person was, but paired with her blurry vision and the bright lights, she couldn't tell who it was.

"Um… I'll handle it." Amber instantly recognized the voice as Jon's. He lightly tapped her, causing her to groan. "You gotta go home," he said, shoving his hands in his pocket. "Your mom was worried; I told her you're with me, so you're not in trouble."

She couldn't even bring herself to speak; she was afraid that if she spoke, she'd puke again. He sighed and picked her up off the bed, then he realized she was barely clothed.

"Where's your stuff?" He knew it would be hard to find seeing as it was a big party, but then he also knew that she was friends with whoever threw the party in the first place. Her stuff was probably somewhere safe.

"Nightstand," she managed. She had a pounding headache. Every noise she heard was bouncing against her skull and light made it worse.

She was _never_ drinking again.

* * *

Being hungover was not fun at all. Her head was pounding, her movements were slow, and she felt like she was rotting on the inside.

She had almost no recollection of what happened. All she remembered was that she drank a lot of beers, and then she was home. The part with Jon… she was pretty sure it was some sick dream. Or some twisted version of reality.

Whatever the case was, he still wasn't there. Whether or not he was at the party, he still didn't stick around for her. And at that point, she was giving up hope on him ever coming back.

"Yeah, she seems alright now," she heard her mother say over the phone. "I'm a little worried about… Actually, that's not a bad idea… You're really amazing… Yeah, bye."

Amber assumed she was talking about her to some mystery person on the phone. Unfortunately, she didn't care enough to ask who it was or if she was talking about her; she just wanted to _not_ be hungover and get on with her day. It was making her slightly agitated.

That was evident when her phone rang and she almost threw it against the wall. The only thing that saved her poor phone was the fact that she caught a glimpse of Jon's name on the screen. Her anger was soon replaced by nervousness as she flipped her phone open. "Hello?"

The background sounded windy, but she couldn't exactly pin point where he was or what he was doing. "Did you shower?" he asked, sounding somewhat concerned. "That's not what I called for—forget that. Do you remember anything?" he asked.

That's when she realized it wasn't a dream; he really _was_ there. And he really did tell her that he'd break her after almost kissing. "I um… were you there?"

"Your mom told me you went to a party. I figured you got drunk or something. I wanted to see if you were okay," he lied.

She frowned and cursed her brain for giving her false hope. "Oh," she said, clearly disappointed. "I'm okay but—"

"Good to hear. Bye." He hung up without letting her get another word in. She sighed and threw herself on the bed, which was a bad idea. Her headache was back in full force again.

She didn't know if it was because she was sad over Jon not coming back, but she wanted to be at least back to normal if not completely happy. "Jon isn't important," she said to herself. "I'll find someone else."

* * *

She was well enough on Monday to go to school, and the talk of the entire senior year was Jana's party. Apparently, it was "so cool that Amber the hermit got shitfaced." It was embarrassing.

Thankfully, it didn't last all day, so it was fine. By the end of the day, every last detail was discussed about the party, so no one had much to talk about at that point.

"Guess where we're going," Jana said as Amber walked out of the building. "And _no_ , the answer isn't home." She grabbed her hand and began walking in the opposite direction of her house.

Amber just went along with it. It wasn't the first time Jana involved her in whatever her plans she had. No amount of refusal would convince Jana to let her go, so she eventually gave up and let her do what she wanted. The only times she wouldn't let Jana get away with it was if there was a big chance that shit would hit the fan. "Where are we going?"

She looked way too excited. That made Amber think that it wasn't going to benefit her in any way. "We're going to meet some people from another school," she simply stated, but there was obviously some catch to it. "Also, I want you to meet someone."

And there it is. Though, this time, she didn't protest. She thought maybe meeting some new people would be nice. Even if it wasn't a long term thing, having a group of people to talk to from time to time didn't seem like such a bad idea.

That was until she actually got there and she realized how much of a nervous wreck she really was. As she walked into Deana's Diner, a bunch of people greeted Jana. There was one familiar face, though. Technically, two faces that were basically the same. "Danny? David?"

At first, they looked at her as if it was their first time meeting. It was expected; they barely talked when they were at the lake. However, after a while, they both had a look of recognition on their faces. "You're Jon's… How do I describe it?" David looked at Danny for help, who just shrugged. "Let's just say friend," he finally said.

In her head, she was wondering exactly what they were. They definitely weren't in a relationship, but she was pretty sure that friends weren't something that would accurately describe it. Too bad she couldn't ask anyone for their opinion on it. "Amber," she simply said.

"Who's Jon?" Jana asked, confused as to what they were talking about.

"He's my um… My mother's boyfriend," Amber replied. It was like she couldn't escape him. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about him. "Anyway, who am I supposed to be meeting?"

She pulled her over to the only girl within the group. She was sitting down, reading a magazine, so Jana's touch startled her, causing both of them to crack a smile. "This is Amber," she said pointing to the girl sitting down.

She raised her eyebrow, wondering if that was the only reason she wanted them to meet. Admittedly, it was cool to meet another Amber. "I'm also Amber," she said, not bothering to wait for Jana to say it for her.

The other Amber… the _blond_ e Amber smiled up at her and waved. Blonde Amber was gorgeous. _Extremely_ gorgeous. She felt inferior to her. "So is one of us gonna die now?" she joked.

"That's doppelganger's, Amber… Not you, Amber," David chimed in. He shook her head and sat down next to blonde Amber, snaking his arms around her shoulder. "What if we just called you… Maber. Maber sounds good."

Jana shook her head. "Absolutely not. You will _not_ have me call my friend something that uncool."

Amber frowned. She actually kinda liked Maber. "What if we just call me by my last name," she suggested. Everyone just shrugged. "It's Hendricks."

"Good enough," Danny said, joining the conversation.

Danny was actually… pleasant. It took her a while to be able to tell the difference between him and Danny, but eventually she realized the shape of their eyes were slightly different. David's eyes were a bit more squinty than Danny's.

She spent a lot of time talking to him. She even felt bad for not talking to Jana much, but she looked like she was fine talking to blonde Amber and David. She was just enjoying Danny's presence a lot. They liked a lot of the same things and they had much of the same views. She didn't even think it was possible for her to bond with one of Jon's friends.

And once again, she thought about him. It's like he was always there somewhere, either to the back of her mind or at the forefront, begging for her to acknowledge him. She really needed this; having someone other than him occupy her mind would be a lot less painful.

"You're cute when you're ignoring me," Danny said, breaking her out of her thoughts. She looked at him and smiled, trying to make up for it. "You're cute in general, actually," he said, scooting closer to her.

He was actually flirting with her. It was nice; it didn't happen often. "Well, so are you," she replied. He grabbed her hand under the table, and she felt excited for some reason. She really _was_ too inexperienced. "I gotta get home before my mom does," she said, realizing that it was almost six o'clock.

She rose from her seat, only for him to slightly tug her back. "I can take you home if you want."

As tempting as it seemed, she decided against it. She was sure that he already knew where he lived thanks to Jon, but she wasn't ready to be alone with him yet. She learned her lesson after what happened with Dirk. "I'll pass on that one. But I'll see you again, hopefully."

He shrugged, then pulled her down to kiss her cheek. "Bye," he said against her cheek.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Okay, so chapter 20 is done, but I'm still excited/nervous about chapter 17. I don't wanna spoil it, but I'm really excited about it. Be gentle with me when you read it.

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

* * *

"There's a difference?" Amber and Danny were sitting in the park together, discussing granny smith apples. Apparently, he never knew that they tasted different; he just thought he was unlucky and always got slightly sour granny smith apples.

"I've said that three times already, jeez," she said lightheartedly. They were getting along really well since Tuesday. It was too bad that she wouldn't get to see him on the weekend; she really liked his company. He made her feel happy. Genuinely happy. Deep down, she knew it wouldn't be long term, but she was fine enjoying the present.

Danny wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and in response, she leaned her head on his chest. Anyone looking at them would assume they were a couple, and she honestly wouldn't mind the thought of it. Anything other than a simple thought… well, she didn't know. It didn't matter though; she didn't think he wouldn't be interested in having an actual relationship with her, and she was fine with that. "Do you _really_ have to go?" he asked, noticing the setting sun.

She honestly wished she didn't, but she didn't want her mother to get worried. "Well… yeah," she stated. "Are you gonna miss me?"

He gave a slight squeeze and smiled. "Of course I will. That's why I don't want you to go."

She was actually blushing. She rose from the park bench and adjusted her clothes as she prepared to leave. "See you on Monday… or whenever," she said with a wave.

"Aww." He stood up from the bunch and opened his arms for an embrace.

He was warm and comforting. She could fall asleep in his arms, but of course, she couldn't. Suddenly, she felt a finger lifting up her chin. She didn't resist at all.

Too bad it was over too soon. He gave her a quick peck, then went back to hugging her. It was an amazing day for her. And the best part about it was that she didn't think about Jon once.

Dammit.

* * *

Amber got home, but not before her mother, which was odd. However, she didn't see her mother at all or hear her; she just saw her purse lying on the couch. She also heard little footsteps come from the kitchen.

"Um... hi?" She checked the kitchen and met a Chihuahua trying to reach the dog food that was on the counter. She crouched down to pet it, hoping that it wouldn't bite her. Luckily, it was calm and eager. It came closer to her as she gently rubbed its head.

"Surprise!" Her mother said, startling her and the dog.

"Jesus, mom," Amber breathed as she clutched her chest. "Who's dog is this?" she asked, watching as it continued to try to get the food.

"Yours for a while. You seemed a little sad, so Jon suggested I go out and buy a pet. It's supposed to give you a sense of responsibility and make you happier. I'll have to give him up eventually, though. The plan was to give him away after two months. That could change, though." she said, smiling at her daughter.

Amber really did appreciate it; she always wanted a pet. However, her mother being nice to her just made her feel even guiltier for kissing her boyfriend on more than one occasion. "Thanks mom," she said, trying to hide her guilt. "What's his name?"

She made her way to the counter to get the dog food for him, pouring the kibble in his bowl. "Whatever you wanna name him, sweetie."

"Moxley," she said without a second thought. The minute she saw him trying his hardest to reach the dog food despite how tiny he was. She was thinking of Moxie at first, but Moxley sounded cuter. She looked as he finished off his food, then wagged his tail, looking up at her.

"Moxley it is," she said with a smile. "Your responsibility is to walk him, give him a bath at least once a weak, and feed him. Oh, and teach him his name."

Amber nodded, figuring the job would be easy enough. "I love him already," Amber said as she lifted him up, stroking his fur.

"I got the rest of the food," Jon said, coming through the door with a big bag of dog food resting on his shoulder. He didn't even acknowledge her presence; he just walked right past her, then placed the food in the corner of the kitchen. "I gotta go now; see you tomorrow." He placed a kiss on her mother's cheek before leaving, but quickly glanced at Amber.

She sighed and took Moxley into her room. Jon really was an annoying thorn in her side.

She sat on the bed and decided to call Danny. Talking to him would probably help to lighten her mood. "Where are you?" she asked, hearing a ton of noise in the background.

"Um… I don't know," he replied, looking around the place. "Sitting in front of an abandoned building I think. What are you up to?"

She began scratching Moxley's stomach and smiled to herself as he kicked his legs. "I got a new dog," she said. "His name is Moxley and he's adorable just like someone I know."

He laughed, and Amber couldn't help but smile at it. It was equal parts goofy and attractive. "Are you talking about yourself? 'Cause then you'd be right." He didn't wait for her to respond before he jumped into the next question. "So… Jon" he stated, hoping that she'd understand what he meant.

"What about Jon?" She was slightly annoyed, but they _were_ friends; it wasn't strange to ask friends about other friends.

"Is he there?"

She shook her head, forgetting he couldn't see her. "No, but he was here a while ago. Why?"

He shrugged and began pacing. "Has he tried to… y'know." Her lack of response told him that she didn't get it. He sighed and tried to think of ways to say it. "Dip in your flesh walls. Slide into your moist cave. Thrust into your—"

"I get it, jeez. Those innuendoes are terrible," she laughed as she played with Moxley. "And no. Why would he? He's dating my mother."

"Well yeah, but he has a reputation for sleeping with anything that walks," he said bluntly. "I wouldn't like to see someone like you taken advantage of."

Amber didn't know what to say. It was sweet that he seemed to care, but she didn't think Jon would be the type to sleep around a lot, until she really thought about it. She could only imagine how much women he's slept with since he started dating her mother. And she let him touch her; his tongue was inside of her mouth. She was grossed out. "That's um… wow," she managed. "Thanks for telling me."

"No problem. I'm gonna go now; I'm heading home. Text later?"

"Sure."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Alright so I'm working on Chapter 22, and things are just… wow. You'll see eventually if you stick around. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

* * *

"Spit it out, jeez." Mox had a habit of chewing up, well, _everything_. He already chewed up a pair of her old shoes and a chair leg, but the more she scolded him for it, the less he did it. So, the moment he heard her telling him to spit out her mother's shoe, he dropped it right in front of her. At least the breeze in the back yard was calming.

"He's so cute." Amber almost fell off of the bench when she heard the familiar high-pitched voice.

"Holy fuck, what are you doing here," Amber breathed as she clutched her chest. "How do you… Who let you in here, Jana?" She was just standing there, staring at Mox as if she wasn't trespassing.

She sat down on the bench next to her and pointed to the sliding door. "Your friend Jon was with us and he stopped to pick up something. He said you lived here so… here I am."

Amber honestly tuned out after she said his name. She didn't even hear any of them come in. She was tempted to go in the house just to see him again, but she knew nothing good would come from it. She sighed and patted her leg, something she did to call Moxley over. "Well, um… have fun," she said, trying not to look up.

"Why don't you come with us?"

There was no way she was going. She had to take care of Mox, and her mother wouldn't let her go out on the weekend unless she was home. And honestly, the thought of being with Jon and a group of other people didn't exactly sound appealing. "No thanks," she simply said, still not making eye contact.

"I won't force you this time," she said with a nod. "But Jon… he's really cute. I can't promise that I won't try something with him."

At that point, Amber decided that she had to draw the line there. She looked her straight in the eyes to let her know how serious she was. "You're not gonna do that, I'm telling you right now. He has a girlfriend and you… don't you have Dirk?"

She sighed and shook her head, "He's a sleaze, now that I think of it. At my party, I caught him making out with some girl outside and he told me he wanted a threesome when I yelled at him. Plus, Jon's been making me laugh, and being nice to me. And he's cute."

Jana always got what she wanted. Amber would be stupid to think this would be different. She sighed and walked into the house, Moxley following behind her. She almost forgot Jon was in the house. She was reminded when she bumped into him, causing her to almost step on Moxley. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's fine." She walked past him and attempted to go into her room, only for Jon to grab her arm. "Um… What do you—"

"I'm coming back tonight," he stated before letting her go, but still standing in front of her.

"Okay?" She was uncomfortable. He was just staring at her but she didn't know what to say. "Welcome back, I guess."

"Aren't you… I don't know, excited?" He thought maybe she'd be happy after not seeing him for a while. Her lack of reaction, well… it made him feel somewhat unimportant.

Amber didn't know if she should tell the truth or if she should just lie to not cause anything to happen. Eventually she decided to lie, but make her true answer obvious. "I guess," she simply said. "Aren't you gonna get going?"

He sighed and cleared his throat, walking away from her. "See you tonight."

* * *

She couldn't sleep at all. She was too busy focused on Jon coming back. More importantly what Jon was out there doing. She couldn't stop the thoughts of his hands all over Jana's body; or some other girl.

The terrible, terrible, absolutely _horrible_ part about it was that she secretly wished it was her. She didn't plan on pursuing it; she knew now what type of person he was. But she couldn't get rid of the thought.

At around midnight, she heard the front door open, and Mox began sniffing her door. He was home. Amber could feel her heart beating out of her chest. "Can I come in?" she heard from the other side of the door.

Breathing was giving her issues, never mind talking. She just stared at the door, not knowing what to say or do. "C-come in," she stuttered. He opened the door and leaned against the door frame. It was dark, so she couldn't see him too well, but she knew he was staring at her.

"He's um… biting my shoes," Jon said before crouching down to pet him. "What do I do?"

She sighed and tapped the bed, alerting Mox to go to her. "I'm sorry, he just likes biting things," she apologized.

He shrugged, shut the door, and turned on the lights, causing Amber to shield her eyes. "How's life treating you?" he asked, walking towards her bed. "You don't seem happy to see me."

She honestly didn't even know. On one hand, she wanted to forget him and forget that anything ever happened, but on the other hand, she just wanted him to grab her in and kiss her through the whole night. Plus, she cried over him longer than she'd like to admit. She looked at him and shrugged, not knowing how to respond. "Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here?"

He sighed and shook his head. "You're not happy to see me." He didn't know what to expect with her, but he didn't have this in mind. "I gave you almost a month; why aren't things back to normal?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed bitterly. "What do you want from me Jon?"

"I want us to be on good terms. I want us to be the way we were minus… y'know." He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. He thought it would be easy. It's as if their kisses didn't even happen, but not in a good way. "I'm sorry for leaving. I just thought it was the best thing to do." He attempted to leave the room, only for Amber to pull him back down.

"What did you do while you were gone?" She honestly didn't care if he went out partying; she kind of expected it. She just wanted to see if he'd at least hint at cheating or doing something he wasn't supposed to do.

He shrugged. "Train, eat, and hang out. Why?" It was such a random question that he didn't even know how to answer properly. He didn't remember much of what happened unless it was important, and as far as he knew, his month wasn't that spectacular.

She sighed and pulled Mox into her lap for comfort. He was the only thing that was able to keep her calm. "Was Danny with you tonight?" He wasn't responding to her messages, so she just assumed that he was wherever Jon was.

He nodded, and for some reason, he reached over to her and held her hand. Maybe he was overstepping a bit, but she wasn't complaining and friends hold hands all the time. "When were you gonna tell me you and him are dating?" he asked with a weak smile. He wasn't exactly happy about that, but he couldn't do anything about it.

"Who told you that?" she didn't think they were dating; they never established any other relationship other than "I really like you." She thought she was just terrible at reading things.

"Your new boyfriend, who else?" He sighed and rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand. "Be careful," he warned her. "Don't do anything you'll regret."

She didn't know what he meant by that, but she brushed it off, figuring that it wasn't anything important.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** See you on Monday guys. I'm still very nervous, but it's already written and it would be too much work to change it. I hope you enjoy, though.

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

* * *

"Guess what?"

"I'm on the phone, hold on." Jon barged into her room while she was on the phone with Danny, and she could see that he was annoyed, but she didn't care. If the news was _that_ important, he would've grabbed her phone already. "I'll call you back. Bye." She hung up the phone and the smile she had on her face was immediately gone when she looked at him.

"You're coming to my first official match this Saturday," he said, leaning against that wall. He seemed less excited than when he barged in. Amber figured it was because of her lack of enthusiasm, but she wasn't going to fake it for his sake. "Well… bye now."

She was different. It wasn't painfully obvious, but when he left, Amber didn't dislike him this much. He figured that she'd be a little different when he came back, but this Amber wasn't what he expected. She was cold to seemingly just him, but to everyone else, she was acting the way he wanted her to act towards him.

Then he thought, maybe the kissing was harmless. Maybe he should've let it continue, then things wouldn't be like this. Then almost immediately, he realized how stupid that sounded. He sighed and went into the bedroom, snuggling up to Mara. "She's fine," he said, staring up at the ceiling. "Y'know, I can't ever see myself as a father figure to her."

Mara turned to him and smiled. "You don't _need_ to be a father figure; just her friend." She placed a peck on his lips, then bit her bottom lip. "Y'know what I'm in the mood for, babe?" she asked with a seductive smile.

"What?" Jon felt her push him on his back, then saw Mara straddling his waist. He gripped her hips as she bent down and wasted no time shoving her tongue in his mouth.

And honestly, all he could think about was Amber.

* * *

The grunts, the moaning; she could hear it all. No matter how much they obviously tried to suppress them, she knew _exactly_ what they were doing in there. It was the first time she ever heard them having sex, and she felt like her heart was ripping apart.

She sighed and decided to take Mox for a walk. Anything would be better than listening to her mother have sex with Jon of all people. She figured she'd also see if she could sneak some time with Danny.

She was in the park near the entrance for about fifteen minutes, waiting for him to show up. When he did, she immediately lit up. "Hey," she greeted with a smile. "I'm sorry for calling you out here so suddenly."

He snaked his arm around her shoulder and shrugged. "I wasn't doing anything important anyway. Plus, seeing you is better than anything." He gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

"That's so sweet," she said, leaning on his chest. "We don't have a lot of time, though. I wanna make it count." She grabbed him by his shoulders and placed a peck on his lips. "I missed you."

He grabbed her face and smashed his lips against hers. There was a weird tingling sensation running through her entire body. The intensity caught her off guard, but she kissed back with just as much force. One thing she realized was that while the intensity was there, it wasn't the same as with Jon. His tongue slid into her mouth, which caused her to pull back. She almost forgot they were in public. "I'm sorry," he said with a goofy grin. "You know how I really wanna make it count?"

She raised an eyebrow wondered what else they could possibly do in a short amount of time. "What?"

He leaned in, his lips lightly brushing her cheek as she spoke. "My house is empty," he said in a deep voice.

"Why, so you can stick your tongue in my mo– oh." Her cheeks felt heated, and she had no idea what to say after that. "I… um… sex." She stuttered. She never actually thought about having sex with him. The thought was just so… sudden.

"It's cool if it's a no," he said, going back to his normal voice. "Sex isn't everything, after all," he said with a warm smile. "But, I really would like to have you over – sex is only an option if you want it to be, of course."

She slowly nodded, then gave him a weak smile. "Wednesday?"

He nodded in confirmation, then placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I can't wait for Wednesday, babe."

* * *

"Where were you?" Jon asked the minute she stepped into the house.

She gestured to Mox's leash and walked past him. "Isn't it obvious." Even after the time she spent with Danny, seeing him and speaking to him made her heart feel the same way it did before she left.

He trailed behind her, not done with the conversation. "You just left and didn't say anything. Do you know—"

"Is my mom worried?" She asked, suddenly turning to look at him.

He sighed and shook his head. "No, but—"

"Then you most certainly shouldn't give a fuck." She turned to go in her room, but was stopped when Jon grabbed her arm. She sighed and turned to him again. "What do you want?"

"Where else did you go?" he asked, looking dead in her eyes. He knew exactly where she was; he just wanted to hear it from her. "Don't lie to me."

She pulled her arm away and sighed. "I was with Danny. Why does it matter to you? You're not my father or my boyfriend." She shut the door in his face and threw herself on the bed. She didn't know why he didn't get that she just didn't _want_ to be around him. It seemed like the more she pushed him away the more he tried to force his way in again.

"I'm sorry," she heard Jon say from outside the door. "I just… care about you. A lot." He opened the door and walked in slowly, waiting for her to tell him to get out. Surprisingly, all she did was stare at him. "Y'know, at that party, I kept looking at you and making sure you were safe. I almost lost it when that guy Dirk—"

"You told me you weren't there."

"I lied. I didn't want you to be caught up on the nipple touching and the comment. The point is, I didn't even fucking know how Dirk looked and it bothered me to see his hand on your ass," he admitted, making his way towards the bed. "I just want you to be safe, so I'll be honest; Danny's kind of a tool."

She scoffed and shook her head. " _Now_ he's a tool? He wasn't a tool back at the lake, was he, Jon? What are you getting out of this?" She got off the bed and stood right in front of him. "I'm trying to give you the distance _you_ wanted, and now you're here… doing whatever it is you're trying to do? _What_ do you want, Jon?" she yelled, her face just inches away from him.

"Your mother's gonna hear you," he whispered. She sighed and sat down on the bed, calming down a bit after her outburst. "I want us to at the very least be able to be acquaintances. Just…" he sighed and grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, okay? Can we be acquaintances?"

She let out a bitter laugh and pulled her hand away. "Get out."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Uhh… I'm sorry. Please, please, please leave a review on this one. Thanks.

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

* * *

"You didn't tell me your birthday is next week," Danny mentioned with a smile. "I wanna get you something. What do you want?" he asked, holding her hand as they wandered around the park.

"Who told you about my birthday?" Her birthday wasn't something special to her, so she didn't think about it much. Of course, she knew that it was coming up, but she didn't really mention it to anyone.

"Jon." It was really hard for her to not roll her eyes at the mention of his name. It was really tiring to see him at home, have him take her to school, _and_ hear about him. He was like a cockroach. "I'll just surprise you. You like surprise, right?"

She nodded, but she couldn't care less if he got her something for her. "You think I'll get in trouble? You know, since I'm holding hands with a boy in the park during school hours in my uniform." At first, she felt some sort of rush when he showed up, but now she was just worried that someone her mother knew would see her.

"You're having fun, right?" he asked.

"Yeah." She took deep breaths to relax, figuring it would be better to enjoy the moment and worry about getting in trouble later. "Jon's probably gonna get me out of trouble anyway."

He shrugged then squeezed her hand slightly. "I'm starving. What if we go to your house and we can cook up something?"

She almost laughed out how ridiculous the idea was. "There's two reasons that can't happen; first, you haven't even met my mom yet, and I figure that would be a requirement for you to come in my house. Second, Jon's probably there." Another reason was that she wasn't ready, but it was best that she didn't mention that part.

" _Fine_. I guess the universe doesn't want us to be alone together," he said with a shrug. "At least I get to spend time with you."

* * *

When school was over, Danny dropped her home to avoid being seen. He didn't drop her off directly in front of her house though, which she was thankful for since Jon was sitting on the porch in his boxers, just like a typical old man.

She ignored him as she walked inside the house, but she heard him trailing behind her. "How was school?" he asked, leaning against the counter.

She shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "Normal," she replied, staring into the refrigerator.

"Nothing interesting happened? You mean you didn't ditch school in the afternoon?" She felt her heart sink. She tried to walk past him, though he didn't allow her to go. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Where were you?" he asked calmly.

She just stared at him. It was hard for her to talk, seeing as she didn't think he would find out. Maybe her mother, but definitely not him. She had no idea what to say to get her out of it. Plus, she figured if he knew who she was with, he wouldn't get her out of trouble. "I was at the park," she stated, purposely omitting the part where she was with Danny. "School isn't interesting."

He shook his head and put his hand on his hips. "You were with Danny, weren't you?" He didn't wait for her to respond, since he already knew. It was obvious that something was up when David tried to pass himself off as Danny when he stopped by. Then the school called the house because Amber didn't show up after lunch, and he instantly knew exactly who she was with. He lied for her, of course, but the whole Danny thing was getting on his nerves. He sighed, assuming the worse. "Did you… have sex with him?" he asked.

" _No_ , Jon." She said it as if it would never happen, but she was actually considering it. "We were literally in the park all day just talking and eating." Also kissing. A _lot_ of kissing.

"Do you want to? And answer honestly; it's not like I can do anything about it." he said, preparing for the worse.

She nodded slowly, trying not to look at him. "I don't wanna talk about this."

"Come here," he said softly. "I wanna show you something."

Amber was confused. She expected him to flip out or just not talk to her. This reaction was new, and she had no idea how to deal with it. She just followed him to her mother's room and hoped nothing terrifying happened.

He sat on the bed and tapped the space next to him so she could sit down. It was strange how calm he was, and she had no clue whether or not she should be scared. He pulled the duffel bag he came with from under the bed, then looked at her. "I don't have much things; this is literally everything I own. Clothes, three pairs of shoes, my wrestling gear. I also have some romance novel that I never read, but that's not the point." He sucked in a deep breath and opened the bag, revealing a framed picture of Amber that was taken a year ago. "I stole it from your mother. She had it buried somewhere in the drawer that she has a bunch of random crap in."

"What are you getting at?" She was confused and kind of weirded out. She just wanted to know what the hell he wanted and move on from the entire situation.

"I carry this bag almost everywhere I go. Everything in this bag has some type of value to me. And well, I can't carry the actual you around, 'cause I'm pretty sure that'll land me in jail. But I carry a picture of you because you're valuable to me, and all I wanna do is protect you and make you happy," he said, looking straight in her eyes. For once, he was actually really nervous. He wasn't sure if she would think it was creepy, and maybe it was slightly on the creepy side, but he didn't know how else to get his point across.

"What are you trying to say?"

He sighed, scooting closer to her, placing a hand on her thigh. "I don't see you as… a friend." He stated, hoping that she wouldn't slap him and walk out. That was the worst thing that could happen in that situation, other than her telling her mother.

She had no idea how to respond. She wanted to believe that he did have some feelings for her, but at the same time, she had to remember what Danny said about him, even if she had no proof. "So you don't like Danny because you're jealous?" she asked, not knowing what else to say.

He shook his head quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. "I don't _not_ like him. I just know how he is. And like I said, I care about you." He actually was jealous, though. He was jealous when she went on her date with Dirk, he was jealous when he saw them together at the party, and he's even more jealous now. At least with Dirk he didn't hide that he was an asshole, but with Danny, he was charming when he wanted to be, and he knew she'd buy into it.

And what could he do about it? Nothing. She'll have sex with him, and even if they break up, she'll remember him for the rest of her life. The whole thing was driving him crazy.

"What about my mom?" Amber asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. She felt guilty for not thinking about her mother first. She really _was_ a terrible daughter. "You like me but you're dating my mom. That's… how am I supposed to—"

"Your mom is a nice woman, she really is, but I don't know. Even though you don't look a lot like your mom, every time I'm with her, all I can think about is you. When I kiss her, I imagine it's you. When we're on dates, I imagine it's with you. I'm still with her because if I am, I'll be with you a lot more."

"What about sex?"

He sighed and looked away from her. " _Yes_ , I think about you when I'm having sex with your mother." He got up off the bed and leaned up against the wall. "Look, do whatever you want with your life. I can only say my piece to influence you, but you're free to do what you want."

Her heart was pounding at that point. She walked towards him and looked him straight in the eye, trying her hardest to speak with the lump in her throat. "Jon, do you… want to have sex with me?"

He raised an eyebrow, confused with the context of her question. He couldn't tell if it was just a question or an offer. "I thought about it," he finally answered. All she was doing was staring at him, and he couldn't tell what her emotions were. It was freaking him out. Then suddenly, she wrapped her arms around his torso and laid her head against his chest, and he was pretty sure she could hear how hard his hard was beating

"I like you too," she admitted to him, but mostly too herself. "That's why I was so upset when you left." He finally reciprocated the hug, and she was so happy, even though she really shouldn't be. But at that moment, it wasn't about her mother, and it wasn't about Danny or what he said about him; it was just about her and Jon and what they were feeling at that very moment.

He exhaled out of relief. The feelings were mutual, so he didn't have to worry about Danny taking her away. He wasn't going to tell her to break up with Danny, since he wasn't going to break up with her mother, but he wished she would. He'd constantly have to think about what they were doing when he wasn't there. It was going to tear him apart.

Suddenly, she slung her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. She was ready; _extremely_ ready.

The electricity and intensity didn't go away after his extended absence. It was very much there, and now that she knew what he felt, she hoped that he was enjoying it as much as she was. Her hand tangled in his hair as their tongues collided and their chests moved in sync. Her heart was beating rapidly, she felt better flies in her stomach, and she couldn't stop herself from smiling.

He pulled away and smiled down at her, then grabbed her hand and carried her to the bed. He wanted to make this something she couldn't possibly forget, he just had no clue how to go about it.

She sat at the edge of the bed as he kneeled down between her legs. He leaned forward, slamming his lips against hers as he tried to unbutton her skirt. "You're so fucking gorgeous," he groaned against her cheek.

His kisses moved down to her jaw, then down to her neck. He nibbled on it slightly, careful not to leave and marks; he knew better than to risk leaving evidence. He wanted to explore every bit of her body; he wanted to know what places were sensitive and what places weren't. So far, her neck was definitely sensitive. The gasps escaping her mouth every time he licked the area lightly was telling.

Moving back up to her lips, he gave her a quick peck before beginning to unbutton her shirt. He struggled a bit and almost debated ripping it off. Amber made him a nervous wreck, so what was second nature to him became a difficult task. When her chest was revealed, he placed his hand on her heart and looked up at her, unsure if he should continue. "Are you nervous? Do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head and removed the shirt herself. Leaving her in only her bra, skirt, and socks. "I want this," she said shakily. He pushed her back so that she was lying down, and began gently kissing her stomach, causing her hips to buck up. She couldn't believe how sensitive she was. She was kind of embarrassed at her reactions.

He slid off her skirt slowly, careful to look at her reaction. She had her hands over her eyes as she lifted up her lower body for him to get it off. He slid it off and tossed it behind him, hoping that he was making the right decision.

"Get up," he ordered, wanting to see her body. He was already hard, but he had to do a lot of foreplay to loosen her up. He didn't want her first time to hurt too much.

He got up off his knees and stood back, taking in her form. Seeing her in her underwear was a lot different than seeing her in a bikini. This was better. This was for him, and hopefully only for him. He walked up to her and began kissing her roughly, and he didn't even mind that the kiss was getting sloppy. He reached down to undo her bra, and unlike her shirt, he got it off with ease.

The only thing stopping him from seeing her bare breasts was the fact that they're chests were pressed up against each other. And she was hyperaware of her body. No one other than her mother had seen her naked, and she was insecure. But she wanted it so bad; she had to power through it.

She broke the kiss and let the bra fall to the ground, then looked up at Jon to see his reaction. She didn't even get much of a chance to see his face, since he practically pushed her to the bed and buried his face in her breasts.

It felt so good. She couldn't control herself.

She was lying on her back and Jon was on top of her. He was so good at it. Every time his tongue swirled over her nipple, every time he nibbled on it, every time he sucked it into his mouth, a small moan escaped her mouth. Every moment he wasn't doing it felt like torture. Her hands tangled in his hair, tugging on it a bit as he nibbled.

It was too much. Should could feel an annoying throbbing between her legs, and even though she wasn't experienced, she knew it meant Jon had to do something about it, and he had to do it _very_ soon.

It was like he was reading her mind. He trailed kisses along her stomach, then on her inner thigh. He was _really_ teasing her. He looked up at her, flashing a smile at her before kissing her through her panties, causing her to gasp. She couldn't take it. "Eat it," she stated firmly.

"Eat what?"

Glaring at him, took a deep breath. "You know _exactly_ what I mean, you asshole."

He wasted no time doing as she commanded; he literally ripped off her panties and he didn't even care if she was mad.

The first thing he noticed was that she was a bit stubbly, which was a surprise to him. He half expected a full bush, but either way, he didn't care. The second thing he noticed was that she was really wet. It should be easy enough for him. He started by lightly licking, getting a hiss in response. He pulled back the skin, revealing her bare clit, figuring that she would receive more pleasure. He sucked it into his mouth, causing her hips to buck and a loud moan to escape her lips.

" _Fuck_!" she squealed, gripping on to his hair. His tongue swirled all over, and it felt _so_ good. She could only begin to imagine how the sex would feel. Then suddenly, she felt two fingers enter her, and she almost completely lost it. The sensation of his tongue, plus his finger inside of her; she couldn't take it.

Her breathing began getting shallower with each thrust, and she didn't know what that feeling was, but it was the best feeling she thought she could ever experience. Her hips kept moving uncontrollably, her legs started to twitch, and there was there was this pressure building, and building, and building. His fingers moved faster and faster and she was convinced that he had sex magic at that point. "Fuck Jon, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck _fuck_!" she moaned. She began gripping the bed sheets as she got nearer to the edge of relief.

"Go ahead; do it," he said, his mouth still attached to her. Then she finally came. There was a tingling sensation as he slowly slid his fingers out and unlatched his mouth from her. "Are you ready?" Jon asked, his hands on the waistband of his boxers.

She sat up – with difficulties, of course, since her entire body was shaking – then slowly nodded. "I'm ready," she said, reassuring herself more than anything.

He picked up his jeans that were on the floor and pulled out a condom out of his back pocket. "Are you sure?" he asked one more time.

"Yes, Jon," she replied, sounding more annoyed this time. She just wanted him to make her cum again and he was taking too long.

He placed the condom on the nightstand and pulled down his boxers. Her excitement instantly turned into fear.

 _How_ was that going to fit in her? And she never really noticed how weird looking penises were until she actually saw one up close and personal. She was pretty sure that he could see how worried she was.

"Blow me," he ordered, snapping her out of her thoughts. She had no idea what to do; well, she _knew_ , but she didn't know how to make it feel good. She took a deep breath and brought the tip into her mouth and began swirling her tongue over it, a grunt escaping his mouth. At least she did something right.

Then after a minute of just focusing on the tip, he felt him push her head down, causing her to gag, and she felt like she was going to vomit. Thank God she didn't; that would've been embarrassing. "I… I can't," she said, looking up at him almost about to cry, fearing her lack of skill ruined the mood.

"It's fine, just continue," he said, putting his hard cock back into her mouth. He knew she was definitely nervous, but she made it clear that she wanted to do it. Plus, it felt really good; he wasn't gonna complain. Too good, actually. "Fuck, stop," he said, pulling it out of her mouth. He just wanted to bury himself deep inside her.

He sighed out loud. He was acting as if he was a sex starved virgin, and it was kind of embarrassing.

He tore the condom packet then slipped it on, mentally preparing himself for what was about to happen. "Are you sure?" he asked one more time.

"Fuck me, Jon." she said, trying her best to sound seductive, but sounding more nervous than anything.

He shoved her back on the bed and pushed her legs open, then climbed between her legs, positioning himself properly. She could feel him trying to force himself into her, and she was trying to estimate how much pain she would be in when he finally got inside.

"F-fuck," she stuttered, the tip fully entering. It didn't hurt _that_ much. It just caught her by surprise. She relaxed a bit and focused on his cock that was now inside her. It was stinging a bit, but ultimately, she could feel some pleasure.

"You okay?" he breathed, trying his hardest not to hurt her.

"Deeper," she whined, not believing that she actually said it. Shallow thrusts weren't enough. He went deeper, causing her to moan really loud. It was even better than fingers. "Oh- fucking fu- _Jon_!" It was _so, so_ good, she couldn't contain herself. She pulled him down to kiss him as he continued to thrust inside deep and hard inside of her. "Mmm, fuck," she moaned into his mouth. She didn't even know if she was on earth anymore; the whole experience felt out of this world.

"You love this, don't you?" he asked through gritted teeth as he gripped her hips.

Nodding with her eyes squeezed shut, she felt a yelp escape her lips. "I fucking love it, Jon," she moaned, her legs trembling. " _Fuck_ , Jon."

Then she felt that same feeling again, but this time it was different. She felt a mix of pain and pleasure, which was a weird – and arousing – combination. "Are you gonna cum, babe?" he asked, breathing hard as he thrusted into her.

"Oh _God_ , yes!" the whole room was filled with moans, grunts, and a few screams here and there. At that point, she was sure that she left scratch marks on his back. It was so hard to contain herself. "Fu-fuck. _Oh my God, Jon_!"

"Cum for me," he said in a deeper than normal voice. And she didn't know why, but that was enough to set her off.

She came again, but he continued thrusting for a few seconds before she felt his cock twitch inside of her, followed by a loud grunt. He pulled out of her then slid off the condom and tied it at the end, tossing it into the garbage. "Did I just lose my virginity?" she asked herself out loud, trying to catch her breath.

"You sure did, babe," he said, bending down to kiss her.

And for a moment, she couldn't be happier. That was until she remembered that she had a boyfriend. And Jon was her mother's boyfriend. _And_ they had sex in her mother's bed. At that point, she hated herself a lot more than she ever did before.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N** : I'd to thank everyone for leaving their positive reviews for the last chapter. I'm working on Chapter 24 right now, so I _really_ have to catch up. I also figured out how I want to end the story, but that could change at any point, depending on what direction I take the story in. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

* * *

Amber didn't say much to Jon after they did the deed, but they were cuddling the whole time; fully clothed, of course. They were watching TV, they had snacks out, and they were wrapped under a blanket with Mox on her lap. Normally, that would seem like a sweet moment, but she couldn't get the guilt out of her head.

"Your mom's home," Jon announced, removing himself from the couch. "I gotta take out the trash; the condom's in there still," he mumbled to himself.

Amber sat there wondering how she was gonna hide it from her mom. The first thing she noticed when she went out to the living room was that she couldn't walk properly. It was like he was still inside her. Her legs felt wobbly, and walking were her legs close together just didn't feel comfortable at all.

He came back in the house hand in hand with her mother, and it was hard to look her in the eyes knowing what she had just done. "Hey, are you feeling okay? Jon told me you had to come home early because you were sick."

"I'm fine," she mumbled, staring at the TV.

It was obvious that something was wrong, but when _wasn't_ something wrong. Jon sat down next to her, but kept his distance. He didn't acknowledge her presence at all, though. Just sat down and spread his arms along the couch, watching TV. She figured it was just to cover up their secret, so she didn't get bothered by it. "How was work?"

For the amount of time that Jon was there, she never heard him ask that. Her mother was fumbling with some food in the kitchen, then looked up at him and smiled. "It was average. My lunch was spectacular, though. I had some amazing pasta from the Italian restaurant that I told you wanted to go to."

He looked at her, then quickly glanced at Amber before changing the channel. "Sounds fun. When are you gonna take me? You know I love food." He didn't even look interested in the conversation. It seemed more like he was just talking to save face.

"How about we go there for Amber's birthday? Would you like that?" she asked, addressing Amber this time.

Jon looked at Amber and winked, indicating that he wanted her to say yes. It wasn't like she had a problem; she didn't even have anything planned. "Sure," she mumbled. "I'm going to bed," she announced before carrying Mox in her arms and going to the room.

No one bothered her for the night until she was almost asleep. As her eyes shut down on their own, she heard the door squeak, followed by Jon sneaking into her room. She sat up in her bed, wondering what the hell was happening and why he was sneaking into her room at almost one in the morning. He stood in front of the bed and said something along the lines of wanting to kiss her before he went to sleep. It was hard to understand, seeing as he was trying to be quiet.

"You're such a romantic," she said with a weak smile. He bent down and placed two quick peck on her lips before leaving her room.

* * *

"I planned to go to Danny's house today," Amber said as Jon drove to school. She was really late, but she didn't mind.

She saw him tense, but she only brought it up so she could know what to do. "Oh," he simply said as he gripped the steering wheel. "Do you, um… Are you gonna do it?"

She shook her head swiftly and sighed. She wished that things weren't so complicated. "I don't even know if I should go. I kinda feel like a shitty girlfriend. We haven't even been together that long and I already had sex with one of his friends," she explained.

"So you… regret having sex with me?" he quickly glanced at her then back on the road.

"Of course not; it was amazing. It's just… guilt. My mother, my boyfriend, and—Jon, where are you going?" she asked, noticing that they weren't on the usual route to school. "Jon, you don't have to force me to have sex with— "

"I'm gonna teach you how to drive," he stated, pulling up to a large open field that she didn't even know existed. "Remember? I promised you a long time ago that I'd teach you. And now I am," he said with a shrug.

She had no idea how to drive, and she didn't prepare for it because she honestly forgot all about it. She was beyond nervous. "What do I get as a reward?" she asked, genuinely wanting something in return for facing one of her fears.

"You'll see," he said with a wink. He honestly threw together something at the last minute, but he still worked hard on it. "Don't be nervous; it's just like driving in a video game. C'mon," he said with a smile.

She got out of the car and went over to the driver's side, feeling even more anxious. He pulled her on his lap, sensing that he needed to break her out of her nervousness. "I don't think I can drive with you underneath me Jon," she giggled.

"I thought you'd need me as a booster seat or something. You're short, after all." They were just laughing with each other, which is exactly what he wanted. Maybe them having sex was going a little further than he expected, he didn't mind at all if this was the pay off. She slid off his lap to let him get out of the car and, then she sat there, gripping the steering wheel. "Breaks, gas, hand breaks, gear shift, and… you should know what a goddamn steering wheel is," he said as he pointed to the appropriate parts.

"Jon, I—"

"Good luck!" He slammed the door and began walking off.

"Aren't you coming in?"

"Fuck no. By the way, if you crash my car, you're dead. I mean that literally. Don't crash my fuckin' car." He jogged off, leaving Amber in the car by herself.

"I can't believe he's _still_ an asshole," Amber said to herself, knowing he couldn't hear it, although she wished he did. She took a deep breath and turned the key in the ignition, getting slightly startled at the sound of the car turning on. She wanted to close her eyes, but it wouldn't have been a smart idea in that situation. "I've seen people do this countless times," she said, trying to hype herself up.

She pushed down the hand breaks and put the car in drive. Now came the actual hard part. The actual driving. Her feet pushed down the gas slightly, sending the car forward slightly, and causing her heart to pound out of chest. She tried it again, this time getting further.

"Drive over here!" Jon yelled from the other side of the field. He laughed as he watched her have a mini panic attack in the car. He almost felt sorry for her, but at least she was learning. As she pulled up next to him, he smiled at her then leaned against the door. "Ready for your reward?"

"For my pain and suffering? Yes, I would _love_ a reward." He shook his head and slipped opened the door for her then took her hand. "What's my reward?" she asked, genuinely curious.

He didn't answer her; just opened the trunk, revealing a picnic blanket, two styrofoam containers. "A shitty, _very_ shitty… whatever you call this."

All she could do was smile. It was perfect; a secluded area, breeze blowing, and food. She was _really_ hungry. She watched as he laid out the blanket then placed the food on top of it. He removed his shoes and patted the space next to him.

She slipped her shoes off and sat down, unable to stop smiling. She went straight for the food, opening he container to reveal the most mouthwatering spaghetti she could ever imagine. "Did you make this?" she asked in awe.

"Are you saying I can't cook?" he jokingly asked. "Truth be told, during my extended absence, I wanted to learn how to cook properly. So I did, and you were my motivation. I figured if your picky ass can love my food, then I'm just that damn good. Now eat it," he urged, picking up his container too.

She scooped up the food and shoved it in her mouth, feeling a bit of euphoria as she chewed it and being slightly disappointed when she swallowed all of it. "That's just… _wow_." Seeing him smile was glorious. Seeing his eyes squinty, his dimples, how chubby his cheeks were; if only she could have him to herself.

"You really like it? 'Cause I worked really hard on it," he said, not really wanting to touch his own food. "I waited until you and your mom went to sleep and it was super fuckin' hard to do it without making noise."

"It's really good, Jon; you should eat it."

He was surprised at himself for being able to pull it off, and he thought he probably wouldn't be able to do it again. It didn't even take them long to finish the food, and he couldn't stop smiling. He lied back on the blanket and pulled her on top of him. "Remember when you couldn't stand me?" Jon asked, staring up at the sky.

"Remember when— Actually, you're still an asshole. Sorry," she said with a laugh. That whole moment was just bliss. It was the only thing she could describe it as. "What exactly did you see when you were at the party?" she asked, trying to estimate how embarrassed she should be.

"You were really drunk. Stumbling all over the place. And Dirk… you're lucky I was there," he said with a sigh at the end. "I finally got to kick his ass," he bragged.

She couldn't even be mad at him. "He deserved it; it's a good thing he didn't do anything to Jana." A lump formed in her throat when she brought up her name. She completely forgot about what she said about Jon. She didn't even want to ask; she was so happy with Jon that she didn't want to mention her.

"He wouldn't have done anything to Jana. She's…" he huffed, not able to find the right words.

"Adventurous?"

"Yeah, that's the word," he said with a nod. "She's willing to do a lot. It's not that it's a bad thing but… I guess it's just her thing." He squeezed Amber a bit, only to be interrupted by her phone ringing. "Who's calling you?" he asked, immediately on alert.

"It's Danny," she said without having to look at her phone. They did have plans, after all; she expected him to call at some point. She just didn't expect to be with Jon when it happened. She picked up her phone and flipped it open. "Hi Danny," he greeted nervously.

"Hey babe. I'm getting ready to pick you up. We're still on, right?"

She sighed, trying to figure out how to break it to him. "About that, Danny—"

Suddenly, Jon snatched the phone out of her hand and brought it up to his ear. "Call back later, Danny; she's busy," he said before flipping her phone shut. "Problem solved."

She rolled off of him and grabbed her phone out of his hand. "You could've at least let me talk to him; now he's gonna get the wrong idea, Jon," she said with a scowl. She suddenly wasn't enjoying her time with him.

"Wait, so you _wanted_ to go to his house and fuck him?" he asked in disbelief.

"No! I just didn't want to have any more problems. I have to deal with this fucking guilt, and I wanted to avoid having some issues with my boyfriend. I guess now I have to deal with that, _and_ you being a huge asshole!" she yelled, surprising even herself.

Jon sat up and shook his head. "That nickname isn't cute anymore," he said quietly.

She sighed and shook her head. "What time is my mother working?"

"Noon," he replied.

"Good. Take me home."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

* * *

Jon and Amber hadn't spoken much to each other since their spat on Wednesday. As for Danny, he wasn't talking to her either. Well, he was, but he was distant. So she asked him to pick her up from school so they could talk. He was late, but she expected it. As she hopped into his car, she was met with a cold stare. "So... how was your day?" she asked, trying to start the conversation as he drove off.

He mumbled something under his breath before sighing, quickly glancing at her. "Are you coming to my house today or not?" he asked, not sounding enthusiastic at all.

She didn't plan to go over, but it was the least she could do after what happened. "I'm coming," she said with a sigh. "Would you just talk to me properly? I hate when you're like this," she complained, causing him to give her a bitter laugh.

"Did you do anything with him?" he asked, gripping the steering wheel.

A lump formed in her throat as the words came out of his mouth, knowing she did a lot with Jon, which shouldn't have happened in the first place. She sighed and looked over to him. "I haven't done anything with him," she lied.

He didn't respond, and the car was silent until he pulled up to his house. He walked around to the passenger's side and opened the door for her, but that was the extent of his romance, if it was even considered that. She followed him into the house, watching as he flicked on the lights. The house was small and lacked furniture, except for an old couch, which made every little sound become amplified.

He stopped in front of a door and opened it, Amber following behind him. "Have a seat," he said, motioning towards his bed. He paced around the room with his arms folded. She was nervous; she didn't know what to expect at that point, and she pretty sure she was gonna miss her curfew with the amount of time that was wasted. "How close are you with Jon?" he finally spoke up, sitting on the bed.

She shrugged, not really knowing where she and Jon stood. "Not very close, I guess."

"Of course you aren't; no one really is. Not even me, and he calls me his brother all the time. Imagine how he treats people he doesn't give a shit about," he said bitterly. He sighed then faced her. "Y'know, Jon has a nickname; they call him the titty master."

Amber chuckled at the ridiculousness of his nickname, but she stopped when she realized that Danny was serious. "Why do they call him that?" she asked, trying to stifle laughs.

"'Cause tits just gravitate towards him." Amber had no idea how Danny could have a straight face, because she was near tears. It was extremely hard to contain her laughter. "I'll tell you a story," he said, getting off the bed and grabbing a picture off his dressing table, then leaning up against the wall. "There were three freshman boys who were inseparable; Danny, David, and Jon. We ate lunch together, ditched school together, and even got our asses kicked togeth—"

"It's almost 5 o'clock," Amber reminded him.

"I'll be done soon enough." He sighed, placing the picture face down. "Jon was, without a doubt, the coolest out of all of us. Anyone could see it, but he treated me and my brother as equals. That's why we called Jon our triplet, even though we didn't look anything alike." He laughed a bit and licked his lips, looking up at the roof. "Jon got a girlfriend, Jenny, long before us, and despite what he says, he loved her. She was his first everything, then she dumped him for another guy. He was really fucking distraught."

He sat there, silent, and Amber didn't know if he was done or not. "I- Is that it?"

Shaking his head, he walked over to her and crouched down in front of her. "I got my first girlfriend around the time Jenny dumped him, and he, well… took her from me just to fuck her. His life revolved around scoring, no matter who it was. Even if it was his friend's girlfriend; his _brother's_ girlfriend."

All the guilt she had came back in full force, along with more regret. Jon didn't like her; it was just something he said to get in her pants. And like a fool, she let him. He was probably only being nice afterwards just so she'd do it again. She wasn't going to make the same mistake gain, and no amount of false romantic gestures would get her to go back to him. "I'm sorry," she said, pulling him close to her. Her apology wasn't even her feeling sorry for him; it was for cheating on him, it was for her mother, and it was for herself for letting things get this bad.

"He's still my friend but… Not you. I can't let him take you away. You're like a prize; gorgeous, smart, great personality, and well… a virgin." Amber eyes shifted when he said that. She didn't even know what she would do when she actually had sex with Danny with him under the impression that she was a virgin. "Can I be your first, Amber? Not necessarily today but… eventually."

She sighed and nodded, not even looking at him. Lying about it was taking a toll on her. "I need to go home now," she mumbled. "It's getting late, and my curfew—"

"Yeah, I get it. That damn curfew is always taking you away from me," he said with a laugh. "I'll take you home."

* * *

Jon wasn't there when she got home, which she was grateful for. She had some peace and quiet for a while. However, the peace and quiet wasn't used wisely; she just watched TV in the living room rather than her bedroom with Mox sitting next to her as usual. Then at almost six o'clock, Jon came home looking exhausted. She looked at him then back at the TV, not saying a word.

Mox left her to go to Jon, which she never minded before, but now she was slightly annoyed. He picked him up and sat next to her on the couch, placing Mox between them. "How was school?" he asked, staring blankly at the TV. He wasn't exactly interested; he just wanted a reason to talk to her. Although, she wasn't answering him. "Are you hungry? 'Cause I can make some of that spaghetti again."

"I'm not hungry," she mumbled, not bothering to look at him. "Don't you have something better to do?"

"Well, right now my mouth should be attached to a gorgeous girl, but instead I'm using my mouth in all the wrong ways," he said suggestively, causing her to laugh, but it wasn't the type of laugh he wanted.

"I wonder who that could be," she said in monotone, grabbing Mox and getting off the couch. She went to her room and tried to shut the door, only for Jon to block her from doing so with his foot. "Get out."

He walked in the room and locked the door, then leaned against it. "Did Danny break up with you or something? Is that why you won't talk to me?"

After placing Mox on the bed, she walked over to him and folded her arms. "He didn't break up with me, but he told me enough to know that I don't want anything to do with you."

He raised an eyebrow and leaned up against the door, getting rid of the distance between them. "Oh yeah? Like what?" He wasn't worried, since Danny had nothing to incriminate him. But he understood why he'd do it; he did have sex with his girlfriend, after all.

"Does titty master ring a bell? Was I even the only one you cheated on my mother with? How many where there? You're such a fucking-"

He bent down to give her a quick peck, mostly to get her to stop talking. After he pulled away, she was completely silent and not looking at him. "Titty master _does_ ring a bell but that's not me anymore. You are the only other person. No one else; just you. And we already established that you think I'm an asshole." He placed his hand on her shoulders then shook her slightly. "One question at a time."

She sighed and looked up at him. "Did you lie about liking me just have sex with me?"

"Of course not; who wouldn't like you?" He lifted her head up, forcing her to look at him, then pulled her close to him so that their bodies were pressed together. "Whatever Danny told you is the old me. You're my babe, and other than your mother, no one will touch these lips. Now kiss me, 'cause I wanted to do it since yesterday." He bent down, only for her to back away from him. "What's—"

"You're lying; get out, Jon," she said, folding her arms.

"I'm—"

"Get out!"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** College starts again in three weeks, so updates may come once or twice a week rather than four times a week. Hopefully, I'll still be able to write a lot, but I'll inform you of the situation once I get my schedule.

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

* * *

She'd be lying if she said she didn't cry; she did lose her virginity to him after all. Finding out that it was all about sex for him was heartbreaking, especially since he convinced her that he actually had feelings for her and it turned out to be a lie.

By morning, her eyes were red and puffy and she had a really bad headache. Jon took notice of her state when he was taking her to school, but he didn't bother to ask her about it or help, since he didn't know how to fix the problem.

When she went to school, Jon had a mission. A while after Mara went to work, he invited Danny over under the guise of free alcohol. He would've invited David over too, but he wasn't an important factor. The plan was to talk to him and figure out exactly what was going on.

Eventually, he showed up and it was all smiles. They joked around and laughed and drank some beer until Jon finally brought it up. "So… Amber won't talk to me," he said, placing his bear on the table in front of him. "Do you have any idea why?"

He shrugged and leaned back into the couch. "Why does it matter anyway? Didn't you say she was uptight the first time you met her?" It was obvious that he was trying to avoid answering, but Jon had to find a way to get it out of him, otherwise it would've been pointless to invite him over.

"I was just wondering, but whatever. She's got nice tits, you know," he said casually. "It'd be a shame if no one was mastering them." And to add the cherry on top, he winked and walked into the kitchen. His intention was to get him mad enough to tell him exactly what he told her.

"Not this one," Danny said, staring off into the distance. He stood up and walked into the kitchen with a smile. He patted him on his back and leaned against the counter. "She's a virgin; you and I both know those girls are prizes."

Jon smirked, knowing that he already had her. "Eh, not really. She's a prize because she's hot," he said with a shrug. "You really like her?" he asked, knowing that usually got him to reveal his true feelings about a girl he was involved with.

"Yeah, kinda," he said with a smile. "I think I might be with her for a while."

Jon sighed and shook his head. He knew it was a lie, but he had no clue how to get the truth out of him. It would come out eventually, but it had to be soon, because he couldn't take much more of Amber hating him.

* * *

After school, Danny picked her up as usual, but opted to take her straight home. She didn't know why, but she also didn't question it. She just figured he was busy. It wasn't like he was distant or anything; he was acting like he normally did.

When she got home, she was surprised to hear her usually quiet home filled with the noise of her mother yelling. Jon was sitting on the couch with his duffel bag next to him while her mother was standing in front of him, yelling and swearing at him.

At first she thought she was extremely late, but when she glanced on the clock, she was home earlier than usual. She approached them cautiously, but neither of them seemed to acknowledge her presence. "What's going on?" As soon as the words left her mouth, her mother went silent. "Why are you home and why are you yelling?"

She sighed and folded her arms. "Jon's cheating on me," she revealed. Causing Amber's heart to speed up. Her mother wasn't specific about who he was cheating with, but her mind instantly went to her.

"I'm not cheating," he said, staring straight ahead. "Your mom just—"

"The signs are all there; there were scratches on your back on Tuesday and a hickey on your hipbone yesterday. Now I find out you had girls in _my_ house while I was gone."

Amber was just about to defend him, seeing as she was the idiot who left the scratches on his back, until she realized she didn't give him a hickey; they weren't even talking for most of the day. She glared at Jon, only for him to avert his eyes. "What the fuck, Jon?"

" _Amber_ —"

"No, mom, what the fuck is wrong with him? What the fuck is wrong with you Jon?" she yelled. She was secretly hoping that maybe what Danny was saying wasn't true, but she couldn't deny it. Not only was her mother heartbroken, but _she_ was heartbroken. And she knew she should've known better, but now she knew not to make the same mistake again. "I don't want him here."

The first day she met Jon, she knew he would leave eventually. And like always, she was right. Jon was no different from the rest of them; maybe even worse. She never wanted to see him again, or hear about him again. It was a shame that he was the one that had a part of her she could never get back. "I don't want him here either," her mother said quietly.

He shook his head and stood up in front of both of them. "So what, you're breaking up with me?" Amber couldn't help but notice he was looking directly at her. She gave him a quick nod, then he looked at her mother.

"I am, and I want you out of this house now."

He sighed and picked up his bag, stopping at the front door then looking at Amber. "I'll miss you," He shut the door behind him, and she couldn't help but feel like there was a huge hole in her heart.

She turned to her mother and wrapped her arms around her, bawling her eyes out. "Why are you so upset about this? You should be happy; you wanted him gone the moment I brought him," she said as she patted her back.

"I just… I had hope," she lied. She pulled away from her mother, deciding it would be better to deal with it alone. Before she shut her bedroom door, she looked at her mother and sighed. "I'm sorry, mom."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** So, I changed my username because I hated the old one. I'm not particularly fond of this one, but it's my favorite drink, so I don't hate it that much. Anyway, after next week, updated will go from the regular 4 days to only Friday and Saturday. My schedule is a bit busier than I expected, but the minute I go back on vacation, I'll update 4 times in a week again.

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

* * *

"Are you coming to my match today?" Amber rolled her eyes when she heard his voice. She picked up her phone without checking who it was, and of course, it was Jon. In all honesty, she completely forgot about his match, and she quite frankly wasn't interested in going. Not after what he did.

"Why don't you ask the girl who gave you the hickey?" She heard him sigh, followed by a string of curses. She didn't care what excuse he had; even if the hickey wasn't a hickey at all, he had no reason to invite girls over to the house.

"Like I told your mother yesterday, I got it from training; I took a dropkick that hit me right on the bone and it left a bruise," he explained, slightly annoyed. "You know where the scratches came from; you were the one who gave them to me. If someone didn't give them to me, I wouldn't be surfing couches again if you were more careful."

"Correction: you wouldn't be surfing couches again if you weren't such a fucking pig. God, I can't believe I lost my virginity you," she said angrily/

"I wanted you there 'cause I wanted some support from someone I cared about. But hey, I'm glad to hear that you regret it," he said almost too calmly.

"Oh, shut up Jon. You didn't care about me _or_ my mother. I can see right through your bullshit, so go feed it to some other girl." She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "I'm not going to your match. Goodbye, Jon."

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Amber heard a knock on the front door, and when she opened the door, Danny was standing in front of her with a big smile on his face.

"What, I can't see my girlfriend now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "You said your mom wasn't home."

"I told you she went grocery shopping, and the store isn't that far from the house. You have to— God fucking dammit." Her eyes went to her mother's silver car pulling up to the house. She panicked, and started laughing nervously. " _Lie_ ," she whispered. "Whatever you do, lie about who you are, where you live, and what you do; just lie."

"You're gonna be an adult in a week, can't you—"

"Who is this?" her mother asked, eyeing Danny carefully.

Amber sighed, figuring that he couldn't lie on the spot. "This is—"

"Tyler," he said with a smile. "Tyler Harvey. I'm a friend of Jon's and he asked me to give Amber some tickets." The whole act was convincing, but she was worried that her mother would see right through it.

"Jon?" she looked down and cleared her throat. "If you wanna go to his match, go right ahead. I won't stop you." She gave them both a weak smile, then walked inside of the house.

Amber turned her attention to Danny and smiled. "Nice job. So, where do you plan on taking me now?"

"Who said I was planning to take you anywhere?" he asked with a smile.

Amber shook her head and playfully shoved him. "Why else would you say something to get me out of the house? Now spill it. Right now." She was actually excited; she couldn't stop bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"It wasn't completely a lie. Jon didn't send me here to give you tickets, but I have tickets to the show. They were supposed to be for me and David, but David's got a date with Amber. Not you, the… fuck it, you've met her; you know who I mean." He pulled out a ticket out of his pocket and placed it in her hands. "He might be inconsiderate, but he's still my brother. If you don't wanna go, then that's cool."

She smiled at him and tapped the ticket against her chest. "I'll go get ready."

* * *

The place was barely filled; there were only 17 other people in attendance when she got there. Almost everyone was some degree of drunk, and she was pretty sure that some people were having sex in the filthy bathroom. She just hoped that Jon's match was first so she could get out of there.

Unfortunately for her, she had been sitting impatiently for over an hour, and she was getting restless. The matches, while entertaining, didn't mean much to her, since she only came to see one person in particular. Suddenly, she heard a name that sounded familiar, yet foreign at the same time. She leaned over to Danny and raised an eyebrow. "Is that Jon?"

Then he came out to the ring in a pair of small trunks, and freshly dyed pink hair. "There's your answer," he replied with a shrug.

As he leaned over the ropes, he nodded in her direction and smirked, then turned his attention to his opponent. Throughout the match, Amber kept wincing and jumping as Jon fell a little too hard and getting excited when he had the upper hand. It was the only match for the night she had ever done that for, and she figured it was because of Jon. And maybe she was delusional, but she noticed that every few seconds, Jon would glance in her direction.

Eventually, the match ended with Jon losing, and she watched as Jon limped out of the ring a few seconds after. "You think he's alright?" she asked, noticing how much it pained him to walk.

"Wanna go ask him? We can go backstage," he said, already getting out of his seat.

Of course, she tagged along with him, and was overwhelmed by the amount of fit people surrounding her; she felt really inferior. Nonetheless, she continued walking behind Danny while he looked for Jon. Eventually, they found him alone, leaning against a wall and drying himself off. When he saw them, he smirked and walked towards them. "How was it?" he asked with a smile.

"It was awesome, but how are you doing?" Danny asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Need a drink?"

He laughed and nodded. "What did you think about it, Amber?" his smile was barely there, but she could tell it was genuine.

"Why did you name yourself after my dog?" He just shrugged, then his attention went from her to another girl that was walking towards him. A girl who looked to be just a little bit taller than her with dyed red hair, wearing a sweatshirt that she'd seen Jon wear multiple times and shorts. "I- I'm going to the bathroom or something," she said before turning on her heel.

No one even paid attention to her; Danny was too busy looking at the girl walking in their direction. She found herself sitting by herself in a dark corner, waiting for when Danny finally notices her absence.

She was embarrassed. She had been sitting there for what felt like fifteen minutes and he didn't even call her. After twenty minutes, she decided she'd go look for him herself and tell him to take her home. It wasn't fun in the slightest. She walked towards where she last left them, only to see that Danny was gone, but Jon was pressed up against the same girl that captured his attention. The scene caused a lump to form in her throat.

As tears formed in her eyes, Jon looked at her, smirked, then went back to sticking his tongue down the girl's throat. She didn't know if it was some sick game he was playing, but she wanted no part of it. Without looking for Danny, she walked out of the arena and called her mother to pick her up. Her heart was pounding, her body was heated, and tears were streaming down her face.

She shouldn't even be crying; Jon wasn't hers to begin with, and she already had previous knowledge of him sleeping around. Then it hit her.

She loved him. She really _loved_ him. And she just watched her first love dry hump another girl with full knowledge that she was standing right there. It was the most heartbreaking thing she had ever experienced, and she wished at that moment that he had never come into her life.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

* * *

They first met on April 24th. She wasn't fond of him, and he was set on annoying the hell out of her. A week later on April 27th was when they first kissed, though she wouldn't count it as their first kiss, since there was apparently a reason for it. But honestly, it was dumb reason and she knew that he was using it as an excuse to kiss her. On the next day, April 28th, they shared what she would call their _real_ first kiss. They were about to kiss before the pizza guy interrupted, then she just followed her instincts and kissed him. It was sweet yet full of passion, but it was over too soon. That lead to his month-long absence. Then by May 25th, they had sex. Sweet, passionate, amazing sex. Thing were going great until they argued the next day.

And at some point, she fell in love with him and didn't even realize it. That was the only thing she couldn't put an exact date on. Everything else, even down to when they first watched wrestling together, she could remember the exact date of. But when it came to her figuring when she fell in love with a man like him, it was a blur.

It definitely wasn't the first day they met, and she had slight feelings for him around the time of their first kiss but when she started to love him was a complete mystery.

She hadn't talked to Danny since she bailed on him, but he hadn't even attempted to reach out to her. Whatever he was doing, she didn't care; she planned to break up with him anyway. She didn't think it would be smart to continue anything with Danny knowing that she loved Jon; it wouldn't be fair to him.

With Jon, it was clear that he wasn't interested in her, so to make things easier for both of them, she vowed not to contact him at all, no matter what. She was gonna go back to her life before Jon. No boys, no drama, no betrayal; just go to school, go home, and enjoy her life.

* * *

After school, she was surprised to see Danny sitting in his car outside of the school, especially since he didn't call the night she left or on Sunday. She carefully approached the car and raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Picking you up from school," he said matter-of-factly. She had no idea why he was acting like nothing happened. "Aren't you getting in?

She sighed and reluctantly went over to the passenger's side, staying silent as he drove off. It was awkward, which she expected, but what she didn't expect was it being awkward on just her side. He was talking like he normally did while she just gave him her signature disinterested 'yeah' and 'mhm' and 'I don't know.' After reaching near her house, she sighed and decided she'd just blurt it out. "I'm breaking up with you, Danny."

He laughed and continued driving as if he didn't quite get what she was saying. "That's crazy. Why are you breaking up with me?" he asked casually.

The whole thing was confusing, and she had no idea what to expect, or what to do. She sighed and looked out of the window, folding her arms. "We aren't right for each other. And you were staring at that girl and didn't even pay attention to me. Then you didn't text or call me," she explained, causing him to laugh. "What's so funny?"

"Look, I know I ignored you when she was coming, and I'm sorry. When I realized you were gone I went off to look for you, and when I came back Jon told me he talked to you and he said that you said that you were going home and that you needed some time to yourself. I'm laughing because, well… he lied," he said with a smile.

"Shouldn't you have a different reaction? Like, I don't know… anger?" His reaction was just so… odd. She wasn't even concerned about the fact that Jon lied; Danny's reaction seemed too out of place for her to be worried about that.

He pulled up to her house and smiled at her. "It's called coping mechanisms. Now kiss me before you go." He leaned in and placed a quick peck on her lips, then pulling her back before she got out. "Before you go, let's talk about sex."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. After Jon, she wasn't ready to jump in bed with another person. "I'm not ready; we already established that. Why are you bringing this up?"

"Before you get all snappy with me, I know your views on it, but look at it this way; sex can be a tool to bring us closer. Seeing as you just dumped me, I think we need to be closer if we want to push the relationship further. If it's a no, then it's a no; no pressure."

* * *

When she had sex with Jon, there was a certain feeling that was brand new to her. It was what she thought was love. She had a new plan that would work for everyone involved; she was going to have sex with Danny, therefore falling in love with him, then Jon would no longer be relevant. He'd just be another boy, even if she did lose her virginity to him.

It was perfect, since she and Danny didn't have anything stopping them from being together. They'd have sex, it would be romantic, and she'd fall in love with him. It was a fool-proof plan.

They made their plans over the phone. It was going to be on Saturday, which was her birthday, and she'd try to make up something so she'd be able to sleep at his house. Whatever the lie was, it was likely that it was going to work. Years of being an introverted loser paid off; her mother trusted her completely, so there wasn't going to be much interrogation to go through.

Her phone began ringing, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw who it was. "No, don't answer it," she told herself. Eventually, it stopped ringing and she breathed a sigh of relief. She was honestly about to crack.

Then it buzzed twice, indicating that she got a voicemail. Listening wouldn't hurt, right? She played it, and instantly noticed how loud the background was and how much he slurred, indicating that he was out getting drunk. She sighed and tried to listen carefully.

"I fucking miss you, you know that? You're so gorgeous and it felt nice to be inside you; like I was born to be with you. Too bad I fucked that up, right? You hate me now, don't you? Is that why you won't answer me? I don't even blame you, because I'm the one that fucked up. I should've been there to tell you how I felt before you ever got involved with that asshole. Maybe we could— hey, stop touching my girlfriend! Goddammit. I miss your pretty ass so much and I wish I wasn't so fucking dumb. I love you, bye Amber…"

There was no way he loved her, right? He was only saying it because he was drunk; there was no way he meant it. She sighed and closed her phone, opting to take a nap rather than deal with her emotions.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

* * *

It was a day before her birthday, and she was still bothered about the voicemail Jon sent. He hadn't sent any messages or called her or left anymore messages since the incident, which confused her even more.

Soon enough, whatever he was going through would be irrelevant. She walked up to her mother and tapped her on her shoulder, startling her. Her mother had been keeping herself occupied since the whole Jon thing happened. Because of this, she hadn't seen her mother much, or spoken to her. Basically, the house was almost always empty. Finally, she got the chance to talk to her, but she still seemed out of it. "Are you alright, mom?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. You need anything?" she asked, turning to face her completely.

"Can I sleep at Jana's house tomorrow?" she asked, her fingers crossed behind her back.

"Jana, huh? Well, it's your birthday, so if that's what you want, then yes. Promise you'll be home at 3 o'clock, though," she said with a weak smile. "Oh, and don't party too hard."

Amber gave her a laugh, knowing that she was going to be doing her own form of partying. "I won't, I can promise you that." It broke her heart to see her mother like that, especially she played a role in it, though her mother obviously didn't know. She decided that now would be a good time to reconnect with her mother. Jon was out of the picture for both of them, and she wanted to have the relationship they had before. "Can we watch a movie together?"

"I don't have the time, maybe—"

"You're working yourself to the bone because of Jon, mom. He already took enough from me; I don't want him to take my mother too." After she finished speaking, she realized she said too much about Jon "taking" things from her, and tried to cover it up quickly. "What if we just cook together like we used to?"

* * *

"Amber, honey, I have a question to ask," her mother said as she shoved garlic bread into her mouth. "Why were so torn up about Jon?"

Of course, she wasn't going to admit that she had sex with him then fell in love, so she said the first lie that popped in her head. "He was protective and he cared about me, or so I thought," she said, then shook her head. "Don't ever date someone my age ever again. In fact, why _did_ you date Jon?"

She sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Well… he was charming. He seemed mature, yet acted his age at the same time. He was cute, didn't care what anyone thought about him. He was even willing to take care of you when he thought that you were a baby," she said with a laugh, then her smile fading soon after. "Y'know, I was in denial about him cheating. He'd come home with hickeys every now and again, scratches and stuff; his is excuse was that it was from training even though he didn't tell me he was going to train on that day. And, I saw him trying to hide a condom wrapper last Tuesday. There were also some ripped panties on the floor."

Amber knew exactly why there was a condom wrapper there and where the panties came from, and immediately felt a lump in her throat when she her mind went back to the day she lost her virginity to her mother's boyfriend. "I'm glad you got out of that, mom."

Her mother nodded and patted her stomach. "Remember when your dad used to sleep in your room every night when you heard about the boogeyman?" she asked, looking up. "You were so scared, and you used to say he was your boogeyman spray, so you'd drag him into your room when it was bedtime."

It was sweet, looking back at her father. She didn't realize how much she missed him until her mother brought him up. He was the most positive, caring man she knew, and even promised him that the first man she'd fall in love with would be like him. Too bad she fell in love with his polar opposite. "I haven't visited his grave in a while. Do you think we should go?"

"Right now? It's late, but… okay. Let's go."

* * *

The one thing that made her cry the most was the day that her father died. He had prostate cancer that went undetected for a while, and that unfortunately meant that it was far too aggressive to be treated properly. It was weird; a few days before he died, he looked vibrant and happy. He was getting his color back as if he was getting better. She had hope. In fact, _everyone_ had hope. The doctors were going to let him leave the hospital. He was so excited; he already had his bags packed and he was telling Amber that he'd take her all over the place, and made sure she felt like the princess like she deserved. He went on a long speech about he loved her and her mother that seemed like it lasted for hours.

Then the next day, he died. Life had a way of being a sadistic asshole. After he was buried, they visited his grave every day. Then it turned into once every week. Eventually that lead to whenever they felt like it. They learned how to cope with his death, so seeing his grave didn't become necessary.

"I don't think any man could compare to you, Andy; I tried to move on like you asked, but I haven't found the right one. I hope you're happy up there, and I just want you to know that I still love you."

It was Amber's turn to talk, but she had no idea where to start without revealing too much in front of her mother. She took a deep breath and stood in front of his grave. "I miss you so much, and I wish you were here. I probably wouldn't be such a mess if you were. I love you, dad. And like you said, there's a reason for everything, but I really don't see the reason you had to go. Or any of this."

She felt her mother rub her back, then heard a sigh. "We should go; it's getting late."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** I'm on cloud nine right now because I found out that I passed everything with a high grade. This has nothing to do with the story, but I wanted to share it with you guys.

* * *

 **Chapter 24**

* * *

It was Saturday morning, which meant it was her birthday, and also the day she was going to re-lose her virginity. That also meant that Jon would officially be history. She was excited, but also nervous.

Her bags were already packed, but she kept checking over and over again. Three pairs of underwear, pajamas, clothes for the morning, socks, flip-flops, sneakers, her tooth brush, a hair brush, and a mirror.

She slung her bag over her shoulder and exhaled loudly before knocking on her mother's door. "Mom, I'm going to Jana's house."

A few seconds later, her mother came out of her bedroom, squinting and rubbing her eyes. "Happy birthday, honey. Have fun, and remember that just because you're an adult now, it doesn't mean I'll ever stop caring for you." She pulled her close and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Call me if you need anything."

* * *

"Are you excited?" His hand was on her thigh as he drove. He kept talking about it, the more he did, the more she was second guessing the whole plan. But if she was going to fall in love with someone, she would rather it be someone who belonged to her. It was much less complicated that way.

"Yes, I'm excited, Danny. Can you talk about something else not related to sticking your dick inside me, or is that all you can think about?" she asked light-heartedly.

He pulled up to his house and smiled at her as he shut off the car. "Can you blame me? Like I said before, you're a prize. Besides, it's not like I'm just gonna fuck you the minute we get in there. Don't you think I have something planned for your birthday?"

She actually didn't think of that, plus she only had one goal in mind for her birthday. "What do you have planned for me?" she asked as she hopped out of the car. "Is it a gift or a date?"

He walked over to her and picked her up bridal style, planting a kiss on her lips. "It's a surprise, let's leave it at that babe," he said with a smile. He carried her to the front door, and put her down, straightening his shirt and fixing his hair. "Ready to meet my mom?"

"Meet your mom? You didn't tell me I was gonna meet your mom. I'm not—"

"Mom, I got someone for you to meet," Danny said, opening the door. "Don't be nervous; she's not gonna be here after this until tomorrow afternoon," he whispered as he dragged her in the house.

She saw a woman on the old couch with a cigarette in her hand. "Lemme see what little bitch you brought home this time," his mother said bitterly. She struggled to get off the couch, and Amber could feel her heart pounding as she came closer to her. Standing in front of her, she laughed and shook her head, then looked her up and down. "Don't get comfortable; you're not gonna last much longer."

"Are you done scaring off my girlfriend?" he asked after rolling his eyes.

"Don't let her touch my shit, Danny. And when David comes by, tell him I have money in the third drawer and to take only half of it." She eyed Amber one more time before brushing past her, leaving the house.

"I don't think she likes me," Amber said once she was sure she was out of earshot. She didn't even know she holding her breath until she left.

"She only likes anyone who can benefit her. David and her boyfriend can, but she doesn't know that I have a job, so to her, I can't. My mother's a bitter, bitter person." He smiled, although she knew now it was his way of coping. "So, today we're gonna go somewhere special, then I'm gonna take you—" he glared at her phone as it lit up in her pocket, then sighed. "Jon, right?"

She slid her phone out of her pocket and sighed as his name flashed across the screen. It honestly made her feel a bit of butterflies, but she didn't want to be sucked back into anything with him. She quickly hit the decline button, then put it back in her pocket. "Not my problem."

He shrugged, then took her hand, pulling her close to him. "Time to start celebrating your birthday."

* * *

It was the same field. The same field that she learned to drive. The same field that she had her picnic with Jon. And the same field where she angrily called him an asshole and asked him to take her home. "I love this place; it's peaceful," he said, opening her door for her. "It's also romantic, since no one comes here often."

He sat down on the grass and patted the ground next to him. "Do you… come here often?" she asked, feeling her stomach churn as the memories of Jon kept flooding her mind.

"Is that some cheesy pickup line? God, you're adorable," he said before pinching her cheek.

"No, it's a serious question. Do you?" she asked, playing with the end of her hair. "And does anyone else know about it?"

He shrugged and pulled her on his lap. "David knows. Jon knows. That's about it. I don't come here as much as I used to, but whatever. Now let's get on with the celebration and romance."

"What did you do here before, you know, us. Was it like… some safe space or something?" she asked, hoping that he's mention what Jon does here. "Somewhere you hung out with David and Jon?"

He shook his head and ran his hand along her waist. "David and I stumbled on this place after we got drunk for the first time. It was dark and scary, so neither of us came back for a while. We told Jon about it, though. Last year, David dared me to stay here from midnight until at least one o'clock. But Jon was here having sex with some girl in his car. It was awkward, but I stayed and got my money. During my stay I realized it wasn't that bad, but I just decided to come out here during the day to relax, but I haven't been here in a while now," he said, his hand now on her hip.

"So Jon comes here to have sex, and you just relax. And David avoids it altogether," she summarized for him. She wasn't even surprised that Jon came to have sex. With all the information she got from Danny, plus that fact that he was out getting hickeys, inviting girls over to the house, _and_ making out with some girl literally a day after being caught cheating, it wasn't hard to think of him that way anymore.

And yet she was _still_ in love with him.

"Basically. Anyway, I got a surprise for you. Close your eyes." He gently pushed her off his lap, and Amber could hear him walking away and opening the car door.

Suddenly, she felt something cold touching her chest, then she opened her eyes to see a necklace. An expensive looking one too. "Holy shit," she breathed, her eyes practically bulging out of her head. "This looks _really_ expensive. You really didn't have to get—"

"Why is it so wrong for me to give the woman I love something for her birthday?"

Her heart sank when she heard that word come from his mouth. "You... _love_ me? As in, you actually… do you really mean that?" her heart was pounding, and she couldn't even look him in the eyes.

"I do. Do you love me?" he asked, crouching down in front of her.

"I… I lo—" her phone began ringing, then she let out a sigh of relief. She wasn't ready to say it yet, because she didn't love him. Unfortunately, her heart still belonged to Jon, who was coincidentally the one who saved her from saying what she didn't mean. This time she answered it, figuring it wouldn't hurt to hear what he had to say. "Hello."

"Hey," he croaked, then clearing his throat. "Happy birthday. I wanted to have fun with you today, but I assume that you still hate me." He couldn't be further from the truth, but she didn't bother to correct him.

He sounded like he was either sad or just got done crying, but she didn't ask why; it wasn't her business. "Is that all you called for?"

"Um… you doing anything later? 'Cause I'd like to—"

"Go ask your girlfriend. Bye, Jon," she said, flipping her phone shut. It was rude, but she needed to do it, otherwise she might have risked going back. She already felt herself slipping the moment she heard his voice. Looking at Danny, she gave him a weak smile. "Not to rush things, but I wanna have sex now." She didn't know if Jon would call again, but she didn't want to risk going back.

"Not until tonight, you horny virgin."

* * *

It was the most childish date she'd ever been on, but it was sweet and fun, nonetheless. They were at Chuck E. Cheese, and they tried to play every single game available, and they even had a competition to see who could wrack up the most tickets.

"Holy shit," Danny said as he looked at the tickets in her hands. "How much do you think you have?"

"Around 200. You better catch up, loser," she teased, seeing him holding what looked to be around 50 tickets.

"You had the same amount as me before you went off to play another game, then a few minutes later you come back fucking rich. _How_? How'd you get so much? What game are you playing?"

She laughed and pointed across the room. "That game where you roll the balls into the holes. I don't know what it's called, but it's easy and it gives you a fuck ton of tickets if you do it properly."

"The fuckin' skee-ball machine! I'll be back with a fat wad in my hand, you'll see. And I'm not talking about my dick." He walked off, and Amber trailed behind him, but stopped when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

She flipped it open and saw that she got a message from Jon. She sighed and opened it, knowing that she wasn't obligated to respond.

' _Are you home? I need to see you._ '

She closed it and went to see Danny play. "You done yet?" she said, startling him.

"I gotta get more than you," he said, focused on the game.

By the end of the night, Amber had the most tickets, and got herself a tiara, handcuffs, and a pencil topper. Danny got a yo-yo, a frisbee, and one of those clapper things that she hated when she was a child. It was a fun experience, but she couldn't get Jon out of her mind.

On one hand, there was someone she loved, who was also not trustworthy at all. On the other the hand there was someone she couldn't honestly say she loved, even though he was seemingly perfect. She felt _really_ shitty for cheating on him with Jon.

That was the purpose of having sex with Danny; so she'd fall in love with him and stop wishing for what she couldn't have. But she couldn't help but think that maybe she _didn't_ want to fall in love with anyone else but Jon. He was who was; an asshole. But before she found out about him being a sleaze, he was actually nice. He tried to be there for her, even when she was giving him the cold shoulder.

Then she realized, she fell in love with him even _before_ they had sex. The sex was just what intensified it. The fuzzy feeling she got whenever they kissed, how badly she missed him while he was gone; it was love.

Her whole plan was falling apart. Danny was really, _really_ nice, and she knew he was the better person to be with, but it was… Jon. He had her heart, and she had no clue how he got it. Now that she knew sex wasn't the answer, it was pointless to have sex with Danny.

But it _had_ to be the answer. It _had_ to work. She had no other answer, and she was desperate for something to work. Besides, she couldn't just back out after the planning and lying she had to do get to that point.

They were back at Danny's house, and she didn't even realize she wasn't talking during the whole car ride. "You're nervous aren't you?" he asked, opening the door for her.

She nodded, looking ahead as tears welled in her eyes. "What if it's... not what I expect it to be?" she asked, shoving her hands in her pockets. He didn't know it, but her real question was, what if it didn't feel the same way as it did with Jon? The electric feeling, the passion, the _love_.

"What do you expect?" he asked, standing in front of her.

She shrugged, looking up. "Just… I don't know." She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm just nervous."

He raked his fingers through her hair, then pulled her closer to him. "You don't have a reason to be nervous, okay? Just trust me."

She wiped away her tears that just began to form and followed him inside the house, hoping that she wasn't making another mistake.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** I had to update at exactly midnight, because by the time I wake up in the morning, there's gonna be a storm, so there won't be any electricity until Tuesday when it's over.

* * *

 **Chapter 25**

* * *

She woke up Sunday morning to the sound of her phone ringing, and at first she thought it was Jon, but she was relieved to see it was her mother. "Good morning, mom."

"Did you just wake up?"

Amber looked at the clock to check what time it was to make sure she hadn't overslept. It was only a little after 7, so she was safe. "Yeah, but it's fine. What did you do while I was gone?"

"I watched TV, watched Mox, and I went to the spa. How was your birthday? What did you do?" Amber looked over to Danny and quietly got out of the bed.

"Shopping, Chuck E. Cheese. She got me a necklace," she lied, just to cover up where she actually got it from. "It was great, but I miss you," she said with a sigh. She looked back and saw Danny stirring, so she decided to wrap up the conversation. "I gotta go now; I'm gonna eat breakfast. I love you, mom."

"I love you too, honey."

When she hung up, she breathed a sigh of relief. Danny was still sound asleep.

She quickly threw on her clothes and quietly made her way to the bathroom. The only thing she could see was a tear-streaked face and red, puffy eyes. Danny took a while to fall asleep after they were done, but the minute he did, she broke down in tears.

The sex was alright; he was gentle, and made sure that she was comfortable. She faked an orgasm, but she didn't feel any love for him. Of course she had feelings for him, but it just wasn't love. A kiss was just a kiss with him, and sex was just sex. There was no electricity, no fuzziness; none of the feelings Jon managed to bring out of her.

She couldn't tell who she was anymore. Love wasn't something she ever experienced, and she fell hard for him, only to be left broken. The only affection he ever showed was all a plan to have sex with her. And the only time he ever told her he loved her was some drunken voicemail that he never even brought up again.

All she wanted was for him to love her back, but it was more than obvious that he didn't. And it broke her. While she was crying and worrying, he was probably having fun. Rejecting him wasn't tearing him up like it was tearing her up; he already moved on, after all. It should've been telling when she asked him if he felt anything when they kissed, and his reply was "nothing special."

He was special to her, but she was just another girl who he got to spread her legs for him.

The bathroom door swung open, and she saw Danny there standing with a smirk on his face. "Were you planning on taking a shower without me?"

She shook her head, but didn't look at him at all. "I'm sore," she lied. "After breakfast, can you just take me home? No offence, but I just… I don't want to be here when your mom comes back." She wasn't lying when she said that; his mother scared her, and she never wanted to experience that again.

"I thought I'd get to spend more time with you, but… I get it. But I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

She shrugged and leaned against the counter. "It's the last week of school. I might not go," she said with a sigh. "I'll let you know tonight, okay? Right now, I just… don't know."

* * *

McDonald's didn't feel the same. It used to feel light and cheery, but now it felt bleak. The atmosphere was the same; it was just her that wasn't. She wasn't speaking that much to Danny, and he took notice of it. "Was the sex _that_ bad?" he asked as he pushed the food around his plate.

"It wasn't bad at all," she replied. "I don't know how to explain what I feel right now, but it won't last long, I promise. I just need time, I guess."

She had no idea what to do to get rid of the feeling, but it had to go fast. She didn't want to break up with him; he was nice, and she wanted to eventually fall in love with him somehow. But Jon was the only thing that was occupying her mind, and having sex with Danny only amplified it; she just wanted him to go away. Then at the same time, she wanted him to come to her and tell her he loved her just as much as she loved him.

He dropped his fork on his plate and pushed it away from him. "If the sex was shitty, just say it instead of having me guess what's wrong."

"I don't _know_ what's wrong, Danny, which is why I can't tell you," she lied. She sighed and stood up. "I gotta use the bathroom." It was all too much, and she didn't know what was going on in her life anymore. She just wanted a break from everything.

As she sat down on the toilet, she let her tears out. It was pathetic; crying in a McDonald's bathroom over a boy who wasn't interested in her seriously when she had another boy out there who actually did love her, and she couldn't even be honest with him.

Then her phone began ringing. She stared at the name, debating whether or not she should answer it. Then right when it was about to stop, she flipped it up and brought it to her ear. "What is it?"

"You didn't respond to my message last night. I wanted to give you something for your birthday." He sounded like he was out of breath, and Amber guessed why; he was doing what he was used to doing, which was having sex.

"Why, so you can try to charm me into having sex with you again?" she knew she sounded bitter, but she couldn't care less. It was going to make him stay away from her.

"It's not like that, Amber. I just wanted to give you something to be nice. Y'know, to make up for being an asshole to you. I don't want us to be enemies or whatever, so I wanna make it up to you."

She was debating on whether or not she should accept his gift, but she knew that it would've sparked some hope in her that she didn't want to have. "I don't want your gift, and I don't wanna be friends. Besides, you and I both have other things to worry about. You should focus on wrestling and your new girlfriend, and I'll focus on my life. Bye, Jon." She hung up on him again, then wiped her tears.

Falling in love was a mistake.

* * *

Danny didn't say much to her when he was taking her home, which was expected. She didn't even mind; conversing was a problem for her at the moment.

Her mother practically squeezed the life out of her the minute she came through the door. Amber didn't leave the house often enough for her mother to miss her. Now that she finally left; for only a day; of course she missed her. "Dear God, the house is boring without you here."

"You had Mox," she said, crouching down to pet him. "So, why was I supposed to be home at 3 o'clock?" she asked, looking up at her.

"Because that's your curfew. You think because you're eighteen you don't have a curfew anymore?" Amber raised her eyebrow at her mother, seeing as that's precisely what she thought. "I'm kidding, but use your judgement. I'd like to think I raised you well enough to make good decisions."

Unfortunately, she was wrong. Her mother did a good job raising her, but she did a bad job at actually listening and making good decisions. She wouldn't be in the mess she was in if she made good decisions. "I'll try, I promise." She ran her hands through her hair and faked a yawn. "I'm exhausted; I think I'll go to sleep." In all honesty, she just wanted to be alone.

As she shut the door behind her, she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket, and she almost threw it against the wall. It didn't even matter who it was; she didn't want to talk to anybody. Even it was Danny, she didn't want to hear it. She let the phone ring out, and if whatever they had to say was important, they'd leave a voicemail or a text.

It was Jana, which she didn't expect at all. She left a voicemail that almost crushed her.

"Why didn't you answer? That's not the point; that guy Jon and I had some fun last night. He was _amazing_ , and I can't believe that it finally happened. I mean, the last time we hung out he totally rejected me, and I pulled out everything in my arsenal. Unbelievable. Then last night he randomly called me and we fucked in some field, but it was romantic; he even had music playing in the background. I also think he wants to make it a regular thing, since he's been calling and texting me all the time. I'll talk more about it tomorrow."

It couldn't have gotten any worse than that. It was one thing to know that he was having sex with random people, but it was another thing to hear that he had sex with someone she considered a friend, _and_ that he wanted to do it regularly.

It felt like he was using her heart like a soccer ball, and she had no idea how to end the torture that he seemed to get off on.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** Alright, so school restarts next Monday, and I'm extremely nervous. But on the bright side, my least favorite lecturer who happens to also be my advisor had some really nice things to say, so I'm happy. Anyway, I have Wednesdays free unless my schedule changes, but I could use those days specifically to write.

* * *

 **Chapter 26**

* * *

"I'm not going to school today," she said to her mother as she stared at the roof. "It's the last week, so I don't have to go."

"Well, okay, but I have to work now," she said as she looked down at her watch. "I'll leave money on the counter if you want to buy anything to eat."

School was off the table for her, since she knew Jana would want to talk about how _amazing_ Jon was and her heart couldn't take it. At least not yet.

She hadn't talked to Danny at all since he took her home, and she was beginning to feel guilty for it. Even if she didn't love him, she still had some feelings for him, and he was still her boyfriend. So she called him over, hoping that they could sort everything out.

"Hey," she said quietly as he stood in front of the door. She couldn't tell if he was looking at her since she was staring at her feet. "Do you… wanna come in?" she asked, barely above whisper.

"Depends… are you gonna be distant?" She rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand, pulling him inside. She figured that if she acted like her heart wasn't slowly ripping apart, everything would fix itself over time. "Why is my girlfriend acting like my girlfriend again?" he asked, sitting on the couch.

"'Cause I feel like it," she replied as she locked the door. Mox came out of her room and began growling and chewing on Danny's pants, causing to quickly run and scoop him up. "We've been over this, Moxley," she said, looking at the dog straight in his eyes.

"Give him a break; he's just not used to me." He grabbed Mox out of her hands then began stroking his fur. "See, he's relaxed now. His eyes are closed."

Amber shrugged and sat down on the couch with him. "I'm sorry for being distant yesterday; it's just that… sex, y'know," she said without further explanation. "My birthday was amazing, and I have you to thank for that. It's the best birthday I've had in years." She wasn't lying about that, but it was mostly because she hadn't celebrated her birthday much until this one.

"Glad I can be the one to make it special, babe." He planted a kiss on her cheek then placed Mox on the floor. "I hope my mom wasn't too scary, though; I don't want you to think you can't come over anymore because of my mother."

"If I'm there while she's there, then I'd probably just stay in your room," she said with a shrug. "Or we could just go to the park like we used to."

He quickly shook his head and patted her thigh. "We're past that already. Also, I wanna be able to put my hands all over you without the threat of getting fined for public indecency." He scooted closer to her then brushed his lips against her neck, causing her to shiver a bit. "Like now, I can put my hand between your legs and run my tongue along your neck and I don't have to worry about anybody interrupt—" He quickly moved away from her as he heard a knock on her door. "I thought you said your mother was at work," he whispered.

"She _is_. I don't know who it is." She wasn't that nervous, since she knew her mother would've just walked in the house instead of knocking. But just to be safe, she hid Danny in her room and made her way to the door, feeling a mix of relief and pain when she saw Jana standing in front of the door. "Oh… hey," she greeted with a weak smile.

"I almost expected you to be in school. I'm glad you're not; I wanted to hang out with you today to make up for missing your birthday," she said, leaning against the doorframe. "Aren't you gonna invite me in?"

"Come in." She stepped aside, letting Jana in the house. "It's just Jana, Danny," she yelled as she shut the door.

"Ooh, did I interrupt something?" she asked as Danny emerged from her bedroom. "Have you been working out more, Danny?"

Amber sighed, walking to the bathroom. It didn't matter if she took Danny away or not; she already got Jon, anyway. Nothing could've hurt more than that.

She sat down on the toilet, listening to the sounds of their laughter. Suddenly, she got a phone call, and as if he sensed she was thinking about him, Jon was the name that flashed across the screen. She was tempted to answer, just so she could hear the truth from him. But she also didn't want to answer because already knew the awful truth, and hearing it from him would've been torture.

However, maybe that's what she needed to get over him. She flipped it open and brought it up to her ear. "Hello, Jon."

"You actually answer your phone? Wow," he said with a laugh. He was somewhere quiet, but she could hear him walking around. Unless he wasn't alone and it was someone else walking around. In which case, she expected it. "Well, you answered me last time, but you hung up on me. You did it before, too, bu—"

"Why did you call me?" She was getting tired of listening to him try to act casual.

"Is your mom working? I wanted to come over today to talk. Or we can go somewhere else if you want; I just wanna see you."

She sighed, figuring it would be best for them to stay apart, no matter how much she wanted him to wrap his arms around her. "Danny's here, so you can't come," she said, now pacing back and forth. "But I just… Tell me the truth, Jon. About everything."

She heard him sigh, followed by a few weird noises. "Meet me somewhere, then. It's better to tell you in person."

It was a trick to get her to be close to him again, and she wasn't going to fall for it; she knew him too well. "If you're ready to tell me the truth, then let me know. Until then, fuck off." She hung up the phone yet again and sighed, leaning against the bathroom door.

"Yeah, I love her," she heard Danny say. "I'm afraid she'll fall in love with someone else, though."

Unfortunately, it was too late for that. If she met Danny first, she probably would've fallen for him; he was sweet, charming, and caring. Who _wouldn't_ want to be with him. She left the bathroom, painting a fake smile on her face as she made her way towards them.

"Can you get out of the house tonight? The other Amber is having a party and it should be really fun," Jana said, walking towards her. "Plus, I'm pretty sure Jon is gonna be there and I wanna get with him again." She winked, and Amber felt a lump form in her throat.

She didn't want to go. Seeing him would be one thing, but seeing him and knowing what he was going to do was crushing. She opened her mouth to speak only for Danny to answer for her. "We'll be there," he said, pulling her close to him. After noticing the look on her face, he ruffled her hair and gave her a warm smile. "If you don't enjoy it I'll make it up to you; promise," he said before kissing her forehead.

* * *

Amber had to tell her mother that she wasn't going to be home when she finished working, just to avoid any more problems. Unsurprisingly, she was fine with it.

Danny stayed until they had to go get ready. Jana already brought her party clothes so she could get ready at her house, and Amber, well… it was her house. "Are you wearing that?" Jana asked, noticing Amber was staring at a sweatshirt. "Christ, you can't go to a party in _that_. Move out of the way." Jana began searching her closet for something party-worthy, but in all honesty, that wasn't what she wanted.

Amber wanted to be invisible to Jon specifically, which is why she planned to wear a sweatshirt and some jeans, even if the weather didn't allow it. "Did you tell Jon I was gonna be there?"

Jana threw a skirt on the bed and shook her head. "He doesn't even know I'm gonna be there; I wanna surprise him. Now put on this outfit."

It was a short denim skirt and a black tube top, and she had to admit, it was a cute outfit. It's just that she didn't want to be noticed at all. She put on the outfit and looked at herself in the mirror, wondering if she could somehow sneak the sweatshirt behind Jana's back. "How much do you like Jon?" she asked, just to see how serious she wanted their relationship to be.

"A lot, which is why I plan to keep him to myself all night. I can't let him lose interest just yet; not until _I_ lose interest, of course," she smirked and smoothed down her outfit. "I think there's gonna be alcohol there, so I'm pretty sure he's gonna get drunk and want to be all over me."

It took everything in her to not cry right in front of Jana. It shouldn't hurt; Jon was never hers to begin with. But there was a point in time when she thought that he could be hers and only hers eventually.

She just wanted the party to be over with.

* * *

"I'll bet you a dollar that when we find David, his tongue is gonna be down the other Amber's throat," Danny said to Amber as he walked into the party with her. It was already full, seeing as they came late. Jana took a while longer to get ready, and there was no way she was leaving her in the house alone.

Jana left them to go look for Jon, which she assumed would be hard with the amount of people at the party. Maybe he wasn't there at all; hopefully he wasn't. "I want a beer," she said as they sat down on the couch. She needed some alcohol in her system to relax her and stop thinking about Jon.

"Already? Damn, I'll go get some." He left her to get the beer, and she felt out of place with everyone around her. There was no one to talk to; Danny and Jana were both gone, so she was sitting there awkwardly looking around.

That was until someone she didn't recognize sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He wreaked of alcohol, and with the way he stumbled over to her, she could tell she was in trouble. "Why are you here all alone?" he slurred, scooting closer to her.

She immediately stood up and speed walked away from him, then bumping into someone. When she looked up to apologize to the person, her heart immediately sank. As she tried to walk around him, she felt him grab her arm and pull her towards him. "What are you doing here?" he shouted over the noise.

"Jana's looking for you," she simply stated, pulling her arm away from him.

She went off to look for Danny, and found him talking to David with two beers in his hands. "Oh, here's your beer," he said once he noticed her. "I'm sorry, I just haven't seen my brother in a few days." He nodded at him and winked. "I'll see you later, bro."

He grabbed Amber's hand and walked around with her as she sipped her beer. The couch they were on was full, so they had to find somewhere else to sit. She hadn't spoken to him that much since she saw Jon, but the more alcohol that went in her system, the easier it was to get her to talk. "Wanna sit outside then?" she suggested.

"I have a better idea; what if we go to Amber's room and we can have our own party," he said suggestively.

Immediately, Amber froze up and shook her head. "I, uh… I'm on my period," she lied. She couldn't have sex with him again until she knew for sure she was over Jon, otherwise she'd just go back to being distant and hating herself.

He sighed and shrugged. "Alright then. Try not to get blood on anything, I guess." He sounded disappointed, as if he was waiting to have sex with her.

"I'm sorry," she said as he walked around with her. "Wanna go outside now?" he nodded and led her outside. There was a cool breeze outside, and normally that would be enough to relax her, but it wasn't doing much to help. And while everything around her started feeling unreal due to the beer, her mind was still on one thing.

All she could think about was Jon's hands all over Jana and vice versa, and how much he probably enjoyed it. It was tearing her up on the inside, and she had no idea how it looked on the outside. However, she didn't care at all how she looked on the outside. She felt Danny tapping her shoulder, snapping her out of her thoughts. "You're a lightweight, aren't you?" he asked with a smile.

She looked at him and gave him a weak smile. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She walked off and quickly gulped down the rest of her beer. It was going to be a long night, and she wanted to make sure she was fully intoxicated so she wouldn't remember any of it.

She didn't go to the bathroom; in fact, she didn't even _need_ to use the bathroom. She just wanted to get away from Danny and everyone else. The bedroom was the first place she thought of; it was quiet compared to the outside when the door was shut, so she had time to think to herself.

And as if she wasn't meant to be alone, the door swung open, causing her to roll her eyes. That was until her brain registered exactly who the person was. "You want the truth now, or am I still supposed to be fucking off?" her heart was beating extremely fast, and she felt her eyes welling up with tears. As much as she loved him, she didn't want to see him or be near him. It hurt her too much, knowing that he was doing just fine without her. "Why are you crying?"

"Go away, Jon," she croaked as she backed away from him.

"I'm not here to hurt you; I just wanna talk to you, alright? I wanna talk about what's going on with you, and I wanna clear the air with everything that I've been keeping from you." She buried herself in the pillows, which somewhat discouraged him, but he had to do it for both of them.

He locked the door to avoid being interrupted. He was prepared to leave afterwards, but not before he finished what he was saying. "Are you gonna start or what?" she asked, but it come out as a muffled mess since her head was still in the pillows.

He sat at the edge of the bed, staring straight ahead. It was going to be hard to admit what he did, especially since he'd been lying and hiding it from her for so long. "You wanted the truth, so… I cheated on your mother multiple times, and not just with you. I cheated after we had our own thing going on too."

She slowly sat up, feeling like her heart fell apart even more. "When and how many times?" she asked. It was like hearing that your celebrity crush wasn't the sweet person they portrayed themselves to be, but she thought that hearing the truth about him from his own mouth would've helped her get over him once and for all.

"A few times when your mom and I first got together so I'd have someplace to stay. I was basically whoring myself out for a bed. Then when she moved me in the house, I didn't have a reason to, so I stopped. Then I started again when we kissed the second time, and stopped when I came back. Then again the day after we had sex." He sighed then went further up on the bed. "I know I'm not the best person, and I'm pretty sure you wanna gouge my eyes out right now, but I did it for my own reasons."

For some reason, hearing the truth about him came as a shock, despite what she thought before. She had to learn the hard way about everything it seemed. It hurt, and she just wanted everyone to go away and leave her alone so she could start a brand new life without having to be dragged into this. "Why did you do it? Why did you drag me into this with you? Why couldn't you have just let me be happy instead feeling like I'm stuck somewhere I don't wanna be?" At that point tears were streaming down her face, and she didn't care at all how it looked.

"I tried, trust me. I might have lied about some things, but one thing I know for a fact I didn't lie about was having feelings for you. After we kissed, every time I cheated, I didn't even think of it as cheating on your mother; I thought of it as cheating on you mostly." He felt guilty when he heard her sniffling behind him. He knew it was the wrong thing, but his ego and pride got in the way of everything as usual. "Look, I wanted to get over you, so I did what I did to do that. I know who I am, and I didn't wanna hurt you, and I did it anyway."

"What about the girl after your match? You looked at me and smirked, as if you wanted to hurt me," she croaked, getting off the bed and to pace around. "And Jana? The only friend I have? And that voicemail you left me when you were drunk and you said you loved me?"

The voicemail came as a shock to him; he had no recollection of it whatsoever. He stood up and walked over to her. "I hate to admit it, but it had something to do with jealousy," he said, his voice cracking a bit. "You're with him and I just want you to myself. That's what Jana was for. Why do you think I'm not down there with her? She didn't even wear panties tonight, yet I'm up here trying to, at the very least, gain some of your trust again."

She had no idea if she could go that. Her trust for him flew out of the window the day her mother kicked him out of the house, and he didn't do much to help after that. She still felt like he only said certain things to have sex with him again, but she didn't have a way to prove it. "The girl after your match," she simply stated.

"Lily's dad pays for her apartment, so of course it's not a shitty apartment like I'm used to. I knew her before, so I called her up the day your mom kicked me out so I'd have a place to stay. And like I said, I whored myself out for a place to stay. The smirking and was for the same reason as Jana." She was going to speak again, but he held up his finger to cut her off, already knowing what she was going to say. "I don't remember the voicemail, so I can't say much about that—"

"I had sex with Danny," she blurted out. His brows furrowed, then her rubbed his hands over his face. "It was on my birthday," she explained. "And he said he loved me."

"I know, Amber. He bragged to me the next day," he said with a sigh. "I can't believe you fell for it. I _still_ can't wrap my head around it, y'know? I just…" he trailed off his hands on his hips as he looked at the roof. "I really lost you, didn't I?"

She sighed and shook her head. "I did because I wanted to get over you. I didn't want to have any ties to you at all; I just wanted to not… have feelings for you." She was going to admit that she loved him, but it wouldn't have made a difference; he still wouldn't love her.

"And how effective was that?" he asked, looking her straight in the eyes.

"It didn't work," she admitted. She sighed, going back to the bed. "In fact, I felt like it was a mistake after it was over. But I don't _want_ to feel this way about you, because I know you don't feel the same way," she croaked as she wiped away her tears.

"But I _do_. I like you, Amber. I just—"

"Not _like_ Jon; I mean love!" she yelled, her heart beginning to race as soon as the words left her mouth.

"Love? You… love me?" he asked, his mouth slightly ajar in shock. "I, uh… are you sure?"

She raised an eyebrow, confused by his response. "What do you mean? Of course I'm fucking sure! Don't you think I _want_ to love you when all you do is hurt me? God, I don't even know why I love you when you keep showing me that you don't give a shit about me or my feelings."

Jon leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets as she kept wiping away her tears. He didn't know what to do or say to fix it, and he wasn't even sure that she wanted him in the room at all. He walked over to her, but still kept some distance between them. "I do give a shit about you and your feelings. It's just that sometimes I'm—"

"But do you love me?"

He looked away from her, chewing on his thumb. "I… I don't know."

She sighed, getting off the bed. "If you see Danny, tell him I was in too much pain so I went home."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

* * *

She didn't leave the house all day. The only thing she did was lie in bed and watch TV. She didn't even shower for the day, and it was almost four o'clock. Her eyes hurt from crying, and she was pretty sure she looked like a zombie.

Her mother had left for work a long time ago, but she pretended she was still asleep when she came to check on her; she didn't even have the strength to fake being fine. She also turned off her phone so no one could reach her. If her mother had to reach her, she'd call the house phone, and that was really the only person she had to talk to.

Mox hopped out of the bed and began sniffing and scratching the door as if someone was on the other side, instantly worrying her. She slowly got out of the bed, wincing every time the mattress creaked, then locked the door. Her heart was racing, and all she could think about was someone breaking down her door and killing her. She grabbed her phone, impatiently bouncing her leg as she waited for it to turn on.

"Amber?" she was instantly relieved to hear the familiar voice, but her heart didn't let up one bit. "Don't worry; I got permission."

"How did you get in here?" she asked, knowing that her mother locked the front door before she left, and that she locked the door again when she let Mox in the house an hour ago.

"The sliding door was open, like always. That's dangerous, by the way; someone could easily get in the house," he replied. "Look, your mom let me come because I told her I left something here, but I need to talk to you before I go."

She sighed, tears welling in her eyes again as the memories of the previous night came back to the forefront of her mind. There was no way she was opening the door for him; if it was important for him to say, then he could say it out there. "Start talking."

She heard him sigh, then a sliding sound against the door. "I'm sorry… about last night. I'm just scared. Y' know, I act tough and like I give the least fucks in the world, but occasionally, there's a point where something or someone breaks me down enough to make me… I don't know… realize stuff. About myself, I mean."

She was skeptical, as she should've been; he wasn't the most trustworthy person in the world, after all. "Are you done?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"At least lemme say goodbye to Mox. I'm using his name, after all."

She sighed, opening the door slightly for Mox to leave. In all honesty, she didn't want him to see her looking that way, so she quickly shut the door the minute Mox's tail was out. Or at least she tried. Jon blocked the door with his foot then walked in the room, causing her to quickly turn her back to him. "Get out," she muttered.

"I'm sure Danny told you about Jenny, huh?" She nodded, her back still turned to him. "He said that I loved her and that she broke my heart, right?"

"What's your point?" she asked, her arms folded across your chest. "Is it that I should've seen this coming?"

"No; I was gonna say that Jenny was just the first person I was with, so feelings and stuff were new. I confused those feelings with love, and it took me a while to realize that. Well, a _really_ long time, actually. What I'm trying to say is, maybe that's what you feel. I'm the first boy you've really _been_ with and—"

"I feel like you're just trying to convince yourself that I don't love you, for whatever reason." she said, walking further away from him. "Look, if you don't love me back, just leave me alone. The more I see you, the harder it is to forget about you. If you really wanna make things better, then leave me the fuck alone!" she yelled, her voice cracking at the end.

He forced her to turn around, and saw the look of horror that quickly took over her face. Her eyes were puffy and red, there were tear streaks on her face, and she looked fragile and vulnerable. Basically like Satan ran over her a dozen times. And he knew deep down that he was the one destroying her, but he didn't want to just walk away. His feelings about her may have been unclear, but he didn't want the uncertainty to be reason she'd leave permanently. For all he knew, he could've been in love with her; he just didn't know for sure. "I'm sorry, Amber, I really am."

Then she started crying again. His tone made it seem like he was genuine, but she couldn't really tell with him. "I can't… you can't keep doing this. One minute you make me feel so special, then the next minute, you make me feel like I'm not worth shit to you," she sobbed.

"I care a lot more than you think," he said, pulling her in for her hug. "Your mom's still working until six, right?" She nodded into his chest, still sniffling. "Alright, you go take a shower and while you're in there I'll order some food, then we'll continue talking."

She didn't know why she was listening to him, but she found herself nodding and leaving the room to shower.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say when she came back. There was a lot to be discussed, but there was so little time to fit everything in without missing out stuff. There was one thing he knew he had to do, though. He reached into his pocket, pulling out something he wanted to give her since her birthday. It was important that she got it; he spent his paycheck from his first match on it.

He pulled out his phone to order pizza. He'd order something else, but it was something she liked, and he was in the mood for it. Being at Lily's didn't mean she gave him good food; it was mostly just cereal and snacks throughout the day.

After he ordered the pizza, he walked around the room aimlessly, looking around at random things. Like the Weezer poster she had on her wall. It was odd, because he never heard her talk about music, yet she had a band's poster on her wall.

Then there was a note on the nightstand. He'd never seen her handwriting before. It was messy, yet adorable. The contents of the note caught his eye, though, so he began reading it.

 _When my dad died, the therapist told me to write out my feelings. It's been years, but I hope this helps at least a little bit._

 _The current thing stressing me isn't only Jon, but it's myself. I made bad decisions that led me to this point. First of all, I got involved with my mother's now ex-boyfriend, and during the course of it, I got a boyfriend who happened to be one of his friends and cheated on him. After a while, I realized I was in love with my mother's ex-boyfriend, but he was being a dick when I realized, so I had sex with my boyfriend to get over him on my birthday, but I was still madly in love with him._

 _I don't want to love him; he's an inconsiderate dick who loves toying with my emotions. I regret telling him I love him, because now he'll just have something else to use to torture me._

 _But the thing is, I know none of this is his fault. Well, in some areas, it is; but overall, I knew what would happen if I made those decisions deep down, yet I still did it anyway. Now I'm in a relationship I don't even want to be in anymore, and the person I want to be in a relationship with is too busy playing with my heart to care how I feel. I just want to—_

The door opened, causing him to quickly put the note back where it was. Amber was standing in the doorway, water droplets dripping off her body and stringy curls stuck to her skin while her towel was tightly wrapped around her. "I have to, um… Never mind." She shook her head and shut the door behind her.

He shrugged and began walking towards the door to give her privacy. It caught him off guard when she pushed him back. "Don't you need to put on—" She pulled him down to kiss her, dropping her towel to the ground. He was so confused; before she left, he was pretty sure she was too much of an emotional wreck to consider kissing him, much less while naked. He pulled her closer to him, their bodies pressed together as their tongues collided.

They hadn't kissed in two weeks, and he had no idea how he managed to get through that. Her lips were so soft and he had a feeling inside him that he didn't get with anyone else but her. "I love you, Jon," she mumbled between kisses.

Maybe she was still an emotional wreck; he didn't want to take advantage of it, no matter how badly his dick begged for him to just take her right there. He pulled away, then placed a kiss on her forehead to make her feel better. "I, uhh… ordered pizza," he said, looking away from her. Looking at her naked body would've made it harder to resist.

"Why did you stop?"

He sighed, deciding it was best to leave the room. "I just don't want you to think that's all I want from you. I'm gonna go in the living room, and just… wait until you're dressed." Without letting her get another word in, he left the room.

If she was going to be the one making decisions he knew she'd regret later, he had to be the strong one, no matter how uncomfortable it was. He sat down on the couch, sitting in silence.

Masturbation didn't seem like such a bad idea; he was desperate. He began unbuttoning his jeans, only to interrupted by someone knocking on the door. He swore under his breath and grabbed his wallet out of his pocket. There was just enough money in there to get the pizza, but it was worth it.

He paid him, then as soon as the door was closed, he flipped open the box and ate a slice, but took his time to eat it. It would be a while before he'd be able to splurge on pizza again, so he had to savor every bite.

"You can come in now," she mumbled as she leaned against the door frame, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt.

He walked into her bedroom, careful not to drop the pizza. "Did you eat anything at all?" he asked, placing the pizza on the bed.

"No, but I'll eat later," she said, standing in the corner of her room. "I'll be fine."

He sighed, walking towards her with a slice of pizza in his hand. "Open your mouth; you gotta eat." He heard her stomach growling more than once since he got there; that was the only reason he ordered food in the first place.

She turned around and took a small bite of the pizza. "Happy now?" she asked as she chewed on the small piece of pizza.

"Sit down and eat. I know your stomach probably hurts, so you need to eat. At least eat two of them." She sighed, taking the pizza from him. "You're mad at me for not continuing the kiss, aren't you?"

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked as she ate the pizza.

He shook his head, then his eye caught the necklace dangling off her neck. "Where'd you get that?" he asked, rubbing his thumb over the heart-shaped pendant. "Danny gave it to you?" She nodded, her mouth full of pizza. "You won't like what I'm about to say, but… I don't think Danny loves you. I've seen this happen so much times; the only difference is that he won't admit it to me."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "How would you know?" she asked bitterly.

"Because I know who Danny is and how far he'd go just to get a shot pussy. But that's not what I'm here for. Close your eyes and hold out your right hand." She did as she was told, and he felt himself getting even more nervous than the day he bought it. He took the ring out of his pocket and slid it on her ring finger, causing her to open his eyes.

She stared down at the plain silver ring, her heart pounding out of her chest. "Jon… what does this mean?" she asked, looking up at him.

"It's a promise ring, not an engagement ring. It means that I'll be there for you and care about you no matter what happens. It was supposed to be your birthday gift, so… happy late birthday," he said with a weak smile. "If you don't want it, you can say it now, I can ju—"

"Be honest; do you really have feelings for me, or is this just some game to you?" she asked as she looked at the ring.

"I'll let you feel it." Suddenly, he grabbed the sides of her face and pressed his lips against hers, putting all the feelings he could muster into the kiss before pulling away, watching as a smile crept on her face. "Am I forgiven?" he asked, crossing his fingers behind her back.

"Yes. God, I missed you; I missed us having positive interactions," she said, trying to hide how happy she was. He might not love her, but he was making her happy, which she was able to settle for.

Just as long as she interpreted every nice thing he did for her as love, everything would be fine.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N:** As you know, I go back to college on Monday, meaning less updates per week. So the next update won't be on Monday; it will be on Friday and then next Saturday. Plus, I really need to catch up with writing, because I only have part of chapter 29 written.

* * *

 **Chapter 28**

* * *

They laughed, they kissed, and they playfully insulted each other and it was pure bliss. Jon was constantly smiling, even when they were silent. It was the first time in a while he was truly happy, and this time, he didn't want to do anything to risk losing it.

"Did you hear that?" Amber asked, sitting up in the bed. Keys, heels against the tiles; her mother was home. She looked at the clock, and it was almost seven o'clock. They completely lost track of time. The looks they exchanged showed that they were both petrified. "Hide in the closet," she whispered.

There weren't much places to hide in her room, other than the most obvious places; the closet and under the bed. She didn't think the closet would be a great place to hide, seeing as it was small compared to Jon. However, the under the bed had much less space than the closet, so the it had to work.

"What are you gonna do?" he frantically whispered before she shut the closet door.

"I don't know; I'll figure it out, though." She sat at the edge of the bed, and just as she did, her mother opened the door. "Hey, mom," she greeted with a weak smile.

"Hey, I just wanted to see if you were okay. You slept longer than usual today, but it seems like you're fine." Her mother began walking further in the room, then Amber noticed Jon's shoes on the floor. She subtly kicked them under the bed, hoping her mother didn't notice. "What did you eat?"

"Some pizza. I used my emergency money," she lied. Another thing she noticed was the ring. She pretended to look for something in her nightstand, and while she was "rummaging" through the drawers, she slid if off and shut it quickly.

"Oh, I'm sorry about Jon having to be here, but the sooner her got all his stuff, the less he'd be around." She exhaled loudly, then shook her head. "Well, I'm gonna go take a shower, then I'll be right back to continue talking," she said, walking back out of the room.

The minute she left the room, Amber went straight for the closet to check on Jon. "When she goes in the shower, you'll leave through the front door," she whispered, then grabbed his shoes from under the bed and dropped them on the floor in front of him. "Put those on, and I'll listen out for her and sneak you out when the time is right."

She quickly scrambled over to the door, pressing her ear against it. Soon enough, the water began running, and she grabbed Jon, catching him off guard. "Jesus shit, relax; she spends like thirty minutes in there," he whispered as she dragged him out of the room.

She opened the front door then pushed him out, her hands shaking from paranoia. "I can't risk it, Jon."

He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pocket. "I'll call you later. Now come here." Without another word, he pulled her close to him, pressing his lips against hers. Dear God, he didn't want it to end at all; he waited so long to be able to kiss her again, only to have to leave again.

Amber almost melted completely. The only reason she wasn't a pile on the floor was simply because Jon was holding her. The kiss began to get a little bit too heavy, but she didn't stop him. His lips moved down to her neck, causing a soft moan to escape her lips. "Fuck, Jon… you really have to lea—"

"What the hell is going on?" Jon quickly shuffled backwards when he heard her mother's voice. She was standing there with her towel wrapped around her, a look of shock and confusion on her face.

Amber looked at her mother, at loss for words. There was no way she could explain what was going on without it turning into a complete shit show. There was no way out of it. "Mom… I'm so sorry, I don't—"

"Nice to see you again, Mara," Jon said with a wave.

"Why were you kissing my daughter's neck? Why are you even here?" she asked, walking closer to them. "Someone needs to explain this whole thing to me. _Now_."

Amber panicked; she didn't know what to say, so she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Jon took my virginity while you were dating him." At first, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders, but then she saw her mother's reaction. Confusion, then pure anger. _Of course_ it was a mistake.

She felt Jon tug her hand, causing her to look back at him. "I'll handle it from now on, alright?" He sighed and turned his attention to her mother. "Whatever happened between me and Amber already happened, and we're not even dating anymore. Plus, she's an adult now; she can make her own decisions."

Her mother folded her arms across her chest and shook her head. "You took my daughters virginity while we were together; I have a fucking right to be livid right now. Do you have any clue how hurtful it is to know that my daughter has been seeing my boyfriend behind my back?"

"Well, technically we weren't seeing each other because we didn't establish an official ti—" Amber began, but Jon put his finger in front of her lips to silence her, which she didn't protest since she knew that she wasn't helping the situation at all.

She felt awful; really, _really_ awful. This wasn't the way she wanted her mother to find out. In fact, she didn't want her to find out at all. A tear slid down her face as her mother paced back and forth, shaking her head. "I want you out of this house, Amber. Go pack your stuff. Whenever you realize how much he'll suck the life out of you by having you constantly wondering if he's cheating on you, then you'll be able to come back. Until then, stay out."


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:** Alright, so my first week wasn't too stressful. It involved a lot of cancelled classes (including today; my Caribbean Studies teacher likes to drink on Fridays). Anyway, I still need to catch up on writing, since I only have a part of chapter 31 written.

* * *

 **Chapter 29**

* * *

"Where am I gonna go?" she sobbed as she sat in Jon's car. He wasn't driving, but they were trying to figure out a plan. Well, he was; Amber was just crying.

"How much of that emergency money do you have?" he asked as he ran his fingers through her hair in an attempt to calm her down. He felt responsible; if he didn't stay in the house, she probably wouldn't have gotten caught, at least at the time that she did. Of course, he had to help, but it was difficult, seeing as he didn't have a place of his own.

"I have about $800," she said through sniffles. "I think I'll call Danny." It wasn't like she wanted to stay with him, but there was no other choice. It's not like she could stay with Jon, and she was pretty sure that her money wasn't good enough for a place suitable for humans for more than a few months.

She began punching in his phone number, only for Jon to quickly shake her, careful not to act too jealous, seeing as it never worked out well for him in the past. "Think of that as a last resort. Let's go back to brain-storming," he sighed. Tapping on the steering wheel, something that he knew she wouldn't agree to instantly popped in his head. He took a deep breath, hoping for the best. "What if… what if I call Lily and ask if you can stay there until we figure out something else?" he suggested.

"I'm not staying in a house with another girl that you also had sex with. _Definitely_ not happening," she fumed, folding her arms across her chest. The fact that he would even think to bring it up was absolutely absurd to her. She was just going to call Danny, since there was obviously nothing else.

"Hold on; hear me out," he began, noticing she was reaching for her phone again. "She's out partying most of the time, so you won't get to see her much; even less if you get a job. Also, she was pretty much cool with me having girls over all the time, so I…" He paused when he saw the look on her face, then shook his head. "I, uh… she'll be cool with you."

Amber sighed, tapping her fingernails against the window. "Alright," she decided. "But if shit hits the fan, I'm sleeping somewhere else."

* * *

He was right; it _was_ a nice apartment. There was a fountain outside of the building, there was a beautiful view, and it even had a gorgeous pool in the back of the building. Jon gave her a tour of the place before eventually taking her up to the apartment that was equally as gorgeous.

It looked and smelled clean, and the décor was amazing; it was like she walked right into her dream home. Lily's father had to be incredibly loaded to be able to pay for an apartment as elegant as this. Maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration, but she felt like she was roaming Paris Hilton's mansion.

"Lily!" Jon yelled, struggling with Amber's bags. He told her to only bring the essentials, but it seemed like she lifted her entire room. That wasn't important yet, so he had to keep that in the back of his mind. For now, he had to make sure everything went smoothly with Lily and Amber so she wouldn't have to go to Danny.

Lily emerged from her bedroom wearing silk pajamas and rubbing her eyes as the light hit her. "You didn't have to yell," she mumbled as she walked over to them. "So… this is Amber?" she asked, looking her up and down. It made her uncomfortable, but she didn't have a right to say anything about it; it was her house after all.

"Yeah… pretty much," she replied, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "If I can't stay here, then it's fine; I can just—"

"How much are you willing to pay?" Lily asked, a smirk across her lips. She looked at Jon, not knowing that she actually had to pay to stay there. And by the look on her face, he didn't either.

He blew out some air then rolled his eyes. "Whatever you think fits, I can pay just until she can get her own job; deal?" he bargained, hoping that everything would work out.

Lily let out a sarcastic laugh, then shook her head. "What are you gonna do, fuck me twice as hard? You and I both know that you're only dating me so you'd have somewhere to stay; you don't have enough money to pay for shit. My question is, what makes this girl important enough that you'd want to spend actual money on her?"

He groaned, not wanting to have to do this, especially not in front of Amber. "I'm the reason she got kicked out of her house in the first place, so I gotta help her out." Of course, he could've let her go to Danny's house but… it was _Danny_. "Look, whatever it takes for her to stay here, I'll do it."

"You really don't have to do that. I'll just call Danny," she sighed, getting ready to walk back out of the door. "Thanks for considering it."

Jon grabbed her hand, pulling her back to him. "What do you want from us, Lily?"

She tapped her chin, then smiled as she thought of something. "How about Amber – not you, Jon – gives me a hundred dollars up front and two hundred on the same day next month, and agrees to clean the house every day."

"Deal," Jon said before Amber could say anything about it. "Get your money, and I'll go see if you left anything in the car." He left, leaving only Amber and Lily in the room.

"You'll be sleeping on the sofa bed," she informed her as she held out her hand for the money. "How long do you think you'll be here?" She pulled back her hand after Amber gave her the money.

In all honesty, she had no idea, but she hoped it wouldn't be too long; the whole thing made her uncomfortable, especially knowing that Jon already had sex with her. "I guess until I have enough money to—"

"No, I mean with Jon. Usually when he brings girls over, they leave right after he's done with them. No offense, but I don't see the appeal in you for something long term. How long have you known him again? I mean… sex wise. Have you even gotten there?" she asked, arms now folded across her chest.

Lily came off as a really blunt person. Much like Jana, but still different. Staying there didn't seem like such a good thing, but she already gave her the money. If things didn't get better by next month, she'd have no choice but to leave. In the meantime, she needed to have a backup plan. "Last month," she mumbled.

"I've known him for two years now; why have I never heard about you? I mean, not even a slight mention. Even when he was dating that old broad, he still told me who he was fucking on the side and who he was planning to fuck. I guess you weren't that good," she explained before walking into her room.

Amber felt a pain in her chest, a churning in her stomach, and a lump in her throat. Maybe he had a reason. Whatever it was, it didn't matter. He was nice enough to ask someone to move her in for a while, so she had to appreciate what he did for her. She took a deep breath, which didn't help to calm her down much, but still helped a bit. "I didn't expect to blow his mind when I didn't know what I was doing."

She looked like she was about to respond, but instead she shrugged and walked past her to go to the kitchen. Soon after, Jon came into the room, holding a pair of flip flops. "You left these in the car," he said as he tossed them to her. "You need any help setting up? Or—"

"She's not staying in the room with us, Jon," Lily informed him, leaning on the counter. "She's sleeping on the sofa bed. Her bags can stay behind the couch."

Jon raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it out loud. He simply took her bags behind the couch, then removed the cushions to pull out the bed. It didn't look very comfortable, but it was better than nothing. "She's gonna need sheets," he said under his breath. "She needs sheets, Lily," he informed her, his hands on hips as if he did an exhausting workout.

Lily left the room to get the sheets, leaving Amber and Jon in the room alone. "I know why you don't want me to go to Danny's house, but _why_?" Amber inquired, careful to keep her voice low as she walked closer to him. "I don't feel welcomed here… maybe you do, but that's because she's your girlfriend." It hurt her to say those words. She already suspected it, especially since in his drunken voicemail he referred to someone as his girlfriend, but… it was hard to accept.

"She's not my girlfriend; don't be ridiculous. I'm basically a sugar baby to her," he corrected, then ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay, technically she is my girlfriend, but not really. She's okay with me sleeping around, just as long as she keeps her title. That's basically—"

"Are you still having sex with her?" she whispered harshly. Of course, she already knew the answer, but she hoped that there was a chance that her assumptions were false.

"Not recently," he admitted. "But eventually I'll have to… I mean, that's basically my way of paying rent. She gets kinda irritable when I'm not fucking her, so… eventually."

She was going to say something else, but Lily walked back in the room, interrupting the conversation. "Here you go," she said as she tossed the sheets towards him. "Jon, can you hurry up? We haven't cuddled in a few days," she said, making sure to take a quick glance at Amber.

He pursed his lips, looking at his feet as he fumbled with the sheets. "I'll be there in a few," he mumbled. He knew that Amber wouldn't like it, but that was the life he was used to living, and that was the best he could give her after getting her kicked out of the house. "Give this arrangement a chance. If you feel like things aren't getting better, then we can think of something else. Danny's place is still a last resort."

"Yeah… my boyfriend," she mumbled. Thinking about it, Jon was being somewhat selfish. She had to withstand staying with his girlfriend and having to deal with the fact that they'd be up each other's asses in front of her, and yet she was ignoring her boyfriend because Jon had her heart. She was fine with him not loving her back, but it felt like he was thinking about himself more. "If you're gonna have sex with her, spare me the details."

* * *

One sleepless night down, probably a lot more to go. She heard them giggling throughout the night, something she wished he'd do with her again. It was funny; just hours ago she was enjoying herself with Jon, and she had hope, only for it to fly out of the window with one mistake.

At least before she didn't know exactly what was happening when she wasn't around. Now she had to listen to it and do nothing about it, since she already paid her money.

Jon came out of the room in just his boxers, and usually her heart would speed up, and she wouldn't be able to stop herself from gasping, but this time it was different. All she could think of when she saw Jon's barely clothed body was Lily's lips and hands all over it, doing what she once did with him.

"You look like you barely slept," he croaked as he walked over to her. "Did you have nightmares or something?" he asked, sitting on the bottom of the bed.

"I wish," she simply stated, staring blankly at the ceiling. Maybe the thought of him having sex with her wasn't so bad; at least she didn't have to know that they were actually intimate outside of sex. "Lemme ask you a question, Jon," she began, turning on her side to look at him. "How much did you enjoy having sex with me?"

He raised an eyebrow, but decided to answer nonetheless. "It was the best. It felt different in a good way, and… I don't know. Something about being lodged inside you felt like heaven," he looked away longingly, realizing that they hadn't had sex in exactly two weeks, which was odd. If he didn't have sex with a girl at least two days after they did it the first time, they were casted aside. Yet Amber was still there, and he wanted nothing more than for her to stay. "When you realized you loved me… how did you know? What made you realize?" he asked, staring at her intently.

Amber thought back to the night he saw him with Lily for the first time, and how heartbroken she was, more over the fact that Jon was already with someone else, and less about Danny ignoring her. She sighed, sitting up. "That night when you had your first match… the amount of hurt I felt that night was what made me realize. When I think about it now, the only pain I would feel if Danny cheated on me would be from the dishonesty. With you, I felt like you stomped on my heart, and that's what made me realize it was more than just a crush; it hurt more than if it were," she explained, bringing her knees up to her chest.

"So it took being hurt for you to realize that you love me, huh?" He sat there, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought of what to say next. The thought was there, but the exact words to use weren't coming so easy to him. Finally, he looked her dead in the eyes and told her what he wanted to without filtering anything. "Hurt me. Right now. Just… say something mean or something just downright evil."

Without missing a beat, Amber did as she was told while staring blankly and the wall behind him. "You're a selfish, inconsiderate asshole, and it's a miracle that I even mustered up even the tiniest bit of feelings for you. In all honesty, you don't deserve my love, because all you've done with it so far is basically string me along. To conclude, you have no concern for anyone but yourself, you take pride in taking advantage of girls on a regular basis, and you are, as I said before, an asshole."

Jon sat there, his mouth slightly ajar as she rocked back and forth while staring blankly behind him. Her lack of sleep just made her completely honest, which was perfect for that scenario. "Can I… I wanna kiss you right now, Amber," he said moving to sit down right next to her.

"I can smell your morning breath, Jon." She turned to look at him and gave him a small smile. "But you can kiss me."

He chuckled a bit then pulled her into him. "Fine, we'll go brush our teeth _together_ ; yours isn't exactly roses either."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

* * *

"Amber!"

That was – no exaggeration – the twenty first time she called her to do something she could've easily done herself within the past fifteen minutes. This time, she dropped her comb, which was a few inches away from her, and she called Amber from the other room to pick it up for her.

Jon wasn't home; he had to go train. Apparently he'd been missing training for a while due to being too weak to be able to pull off anything properly. Also, he began to lose weight, which meant he had to bulk up a bit more. Unfortunately, that meant there would be less of him, and more of Lily.

Thankfully, it looked like she was getting ready to go somewhere. "Anything else you need to me to do before you go?" Amber asked as she wiped down the kitchen counters.

She shook her head as she brushed through her hair. Amber wished her hair was like hers; it was naturally straight and sleek, whereas she needed to use a flat iron so her hair didn't look like it went through a storm. "If Jon comes back after I leave, tell him I went to the party at Sami's. _Also_ , I want my bed made before I come back, and I need you to rearrange the bathroom cabinet, then shine my shoes."

The house was practically spotless, and yet she felt like her hard work was for nothing. Lily just found some other task for her to do, even though she knew that it wasn't necessary at all. It was just for a month, though; she already knew she wasn't going to be there very long.

Right on cue, Jon walked into the apartment drenched in sweat as he clutched his side. At least she had someone to distract her from Lily's reign of terror while she was still there. "Hey ladies," he greeted with a quick wave of his hand. He walked past her, making his way towards Lily. "You look extra hot. Whose party is it tonight?"

"Sami," she replied. "Since you're here, you might as well come with me. Go shower first; you smell like you crawled out of a sewer then rolled around in a hobo's piss," she criticized.

"Amber, you up for partying?" he asked, turning around to look at her.

"I told _you_ to come, not the help; now go get ready or I'm gonna be late," she said as she frantically applied her lip gloss.

He rolled his eyes, removing his shirt and walking in the bedroom. "She's a guest, not the help. And I think I'll pass on the party; I'm too tired."

She shrugged and grabbed her purse, rushing towards the door. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me," she said before leaving the house.

Jon emerged from the bedroom in just his boxer and made his way to the kitchen where Amber was basically molesting imaginary dirt from the cupboard handles. "This is what you've been doing all day?" he asked, leaning against the counter. "I haven't even seen you do so much cleaning at your mom's house."

"That's because my mom wasn't purposely making do a bunch of shit just for the sake of torturing me." She tossed the cloth she had been using to clean in the sink before leaning against the wall, running her fingers through her hair. "My fingers feel so nonexistent."

He walked over to her, pulling her into a warm embrace. She looked tired; he figured she'd need some affection to make her feel better. He also knew that the reason Lily was overworking her was out of jealousy, which he genuinely didn't know would happen. However, he figured that it would blow over once they got used to each other. "You smell like bleach," he commented with a smile.

"Yeah? Well, you smell like you crawled out of a sewer then rolled around in a hobo's piss," she shot back, recycling Lily's insult.

Rolling his eyes, then grabbed her hand, leading her towards the bathroom. He shoved her against the door, then pressed his body against hers, smirking as she bit her lip. Honestly, she didn't look her best. Baggy clothes, hair in a messy ponytail, and not to mention she still smelled like bleach. But it was her; it didn't matter to him how she looked, just as long as it was still her. He bent down, his nose slightly brushing against her.

Teasing her was one of his favorite things to do, if it wasn't obvious enough.

"Kiss me, sewer boy," she moaned, tiptoeing to reach his lips, only for him to quickly pull back. She smiled, grabbing his hands to pull him even closer to her. Obviously she was enjoying herself, but she wanted to enjoy herself even more.

She opened the door behind her and pulled him inside of the bathroom, making sure took give him her best sexy look even though she wasn't exactly looking sexy at the moment. By the look on his face, she'd say it worked. He quickly pulled her towards him, his hands pressed firmly on her hips. Then suddenly, she felt a hungry kiss. She opened her mouth with a low moan, allowing his tongue to enter her mouth.

His lips tasted like beer, so she figured that he went to drink before he got back. And though she insulted his scent before, it really wasn't that bad. He just smelled sweaty, and the thought of him lifting weights while beads of sweat rolled down his biceps was more than enough to turn her on. She pressed her hips further into him, inciting a surprised moan from him.

She pulled away briefly to remove her shirt, revealing that she wasn't wearing a bra. "Oh… fuck," he breathed, staring at her naked chest. Normally, he would've seized the moment, but he just couldn't; he wasn't sure if she was completely fine. Although she seemed happy, he didn't want her to regret it like she did the last time. He sighed stepping further away from her. "I can't… not today," he confessed, his hands on his hips as he tried to peel her eyes away from her.

"Why not?" she asked, stepping closer to him. It was the second time he rejected her, and it was starting to sting a little bit, especially since she knew he'd have sex with Lily the minute she asked. She placed a hand on his cheek, hoping to persuade him. "Why won't you have sex with me, Jon?" she asked in a soft voice.

He bit his lip and grabbed her wrist, gently running his thumb over the back of her hand. It was really tempting, but he just didn't want to hurt her or confuse her. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I'll just go make the bed for you while you shower, then—"

"Don't you wanna shower with me, Jon? We don't even have to do anything sexual; just shower," she moaned into his neck, placing a quick peck on his jawline afterwards.

He raised an eyebrow, then began playing with the waistband of her sweatpants. "You think I'm stupid, don't you? You know damn well we'd be doing everything but getting clean if I step in that shower with you," he half-joked. As the thoughts of what he really wanted to do to her crossed her mind, it was figuratively and literally getting harder to resist. He groaned, placing a peck on her lips. "You're fucking adorable," he said in a low tone.

His fingers wandered up to her head, pulling the hair band out to let her hair flow. He then tugged on it slightly, causing her head to bend enough to give him more access to her neck. He lightly grazed his bottom lip against the skin, making her slightly shiver. She couldn't even think properly; much less speak. Then his tongue darted out to lick along her jawline, forcing a gasp to escape her lips. He didn't have to do much to get her aroused; he was amazing at what he did.

He bit down enough to leave a mark, then continued doing so along her neck until he hit her collarbone. She never realized how much she loved pain until that moment. "We need to shower," he breathed into her ear before helping her pull down her pants and panties.

She kicked them aside, then pulled across the glass sliding door, waiting anxiously for Jon to remove his clothes. "Hurry up, Jon," she whined, tapping her foot impatiently.

"I don't have any more condoms," he mumbled, shoving his hands in his pocket. He didn't even remember until that moment. Although he acted reckless and carefree, having a child was something completely off the table at his age. He didn't even know if he wanted one, period. And as much as he wanted to screw her brains out, he couldn't do it without protection.

"Of course you don't," she said light heartedly. "So, are we just not gonna have sex?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest?

"Lily has condoms, but…" he sighed, hanging his head low. "She counts them every day. She's fucking obsessive when it comes to her condoms. I also don't wanna tell her about you because I know she'll make things harder for—"

"I don't care," she interrupted, stepping out of the shower. "Do you need me to beg?"

He shook his head, then grabbed her arm, pulling her close to him. "I'll take the damn condom, bleach girl." He then placed a kiss on her forehead before backing way to remove his pants and boxers.

Amber took his hand and took him into the shower, turning on the water so it was steaming hot. She stepped under the water, instantly feeling her muscles relax as it beat against her skin.

He stood in front of her, watching as she slicked back her hair under the water, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. No matter what she did, she always looked like an angel, even if it didn't seem like it to everyone else. Although in this case, he thought anyone who didn't think she was beautiful was stupid.

She cracked one of her eyes open, seeing Jon staring at her, along with… something else staring at her. Penises were still very much weird looking. She grabbed the liquid soap, then passed it to Jon. "Get my back," she ordered, turning her back to him.

"Oh, so we're really getting clean?" he asked as he squeezed the soap in his hand.

"We gotta get clean before we get dirty," she stated as she tried to get all of her hair over her right shoulder so he'd be able to wash her back. She felt him massaging it into her back, causing her to close her eyes, taking in the comforting feeling of him working through the kinks.

He walked in front of her so that his back was facing the water, then began rubbing soap on her stomach, working his way up to her breasts, paying extra attention to her nipples. "I wanna master these and _only_ these for the rest of my life," he mumbled to himself, flicking his thumb over her hard nipples.

Jon had already teased her enough, and she was getting sick of it. By the looks of it, he was too. This made her take the initiative and take some soap from her stomach, then placed her hand on Jon's cock, causing a low moan to escape his mouth. Her hands moved at a slow, steady paced as she gripped it moderately, eventually speeding up as she grew more aroused.

Then his hand moved down to her pussy, igniting a gasp from her. He pressed his middle and ring finger against her clit, moving his hand vigorously, causing her knees to tremble. It was amazing seeing her like that, knowing he was the first person to ever make her feel like that.

"Jesus, Jon," she breathed, throwing her head back in pleasure. Soon after, Jon removed her hand, then pressed her against the wall, plunging his fingers inside her. She almost screamed, but Jon swallowed it with a rough, hungry kiss.

In an instant, everything changed from sweet and gentle to rough and animalistic, and she enjoyed it a little too much. It didn't take much to get her near the edge. She somehow managed to pull him closer to him, trying desperately to grip on to his slippery back.

Then he laughed, pulling his finger from inside her, robbing her off her pleasure. "Not yet," he said, turning his body towards the water to wash the soap off.

Amber frowned, but accepted it nonetheless. After he was done washing off, she did the same, then turned off the water. They stood there for a while, just staring at each other. His pupils looked dilated and clouded over with lust, right before he picked her up, taking her to the bedroom with water dripping all over the floor.

He dropped her on the bed, then wasted no time forcing her legs open even more, immediately getting to work. "Oh… mmm, fuck, Jon," she moaned, holding his hair back as his tongue swirled all over her. He was _really_ good at it. He wasn't putting a ton of pressure into it, but it was just right. His tongue movements were rhythmic, but unpredictable at the same time, just like him.

And she really did love that unpredictable asshole with everything she had.

He unlatched his mouth from her too soon, going over to Lily's drawer, pulling out a box of condoms. "This has to be quick; Lily could pop back in at any moment," he informed her, taking out one condom and leaving the box on the dresser.

"Fine," she said as she sat up. It took her a while to remember, but she had to give him a blowjob, and she still wasn't skilled in that department. She was nervous; she knew deep down he wasn't too pleased with the lackluster blowjob she gave him the last time.

He stood in front of her, hands on his hips with his dick touching the tip of her nose. "Relax; it's just a dick. You're already familiar with it," he said, holding the base and pressing it on her nose.

"You're such a goof ball," she teased. His cock was… intimidating. With Danny, the lights were off so she couldn't see what she was dealing with, though he was sizable from what she could tell. With Jon, she could see exactly how big he was, and all she could think of was gagging too much and vomiting right on him, which only made her stomach churn at the thought.

She took a deep breath, grabbing the base and taking the tip into her mouth, slowly swirling her tongue over it. He let out a low groan, meaning she was doing something right. Then she went deeper, about three inches in, and that's when it started to feel uncomfortable. His hand was already on the back of her head, which meant he wanted her to go lower.

The hard part; getting to the base. She placed her hands on his thigh and slowly pushed her head forward. It was a journey; she gagged a few times, prompting her to get even more nervous, but with each groan, it gave her enough courage to continue. "Shit… good job, babe," he congratulated.

She bobbed her head, careful not to stray too far away from the base, as she swirled her tongue around. After a minute, she made her way back up to the tip, giving him a light lick before smiling up at him. "Ready?" she asked.

A bit of her spit was still on her chin and the corners of her mouth, and it was the hottest thing he ever saw. He bent down to kiss her forehead, then tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth. "What position are we doing day?"

She shrugged, rubbing his thumb over his thigh. "You're asking someone who lost their virginity two weeks ago."

He shrugged as he rolled on the condom. "Bend over, then," he ordered.

She did as she was told, waiting in anticipation for him to begin. After a few painful seconds, she felt one hand on her hip as she tried to get the tip inside her. The minute he was in, all she felt was pain; that was until she got used to it. His thrusts started out slow and shallow, and she was already breathing heavily; it hit just the right spot.

He tried to speed up, only for him to slip out the first few times. "God dammit," he mumbled as he tried to get back inside. He slowly made his way back, and it was almost completely in, he thrusted hard, causing her to curse. "Awesome."

His right hand reached up to grab her hair, pulling her head up slightly. Her heavy breathing soon became moaning, and those soon became near screams. Jon had such an effect on her like no one else. She had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from getting any louder. "Oh fuck, keep going," she moaned, gripping the sheets and the sounds of his grunts and her butt crashing against his stomach filled the room.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the front door, yet Jon was still going. "Ignore it," he said, his eyes reduced to tiny slits. She accepted it, seeing as she was about to cum any minute. "Amber… I lo—"

"Jon, open the fucking the door!"


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:** I haven't had school all week due to Irma hitting us on Wednesday. I'm fine and other than a tree branch falling, there wasn't much damage for me at least. Jose is supposed to hit us tomorrow, so I won't be able to update tomorrow. I will get it out by next Friday, hopefully.

* * *

 **Chapter 31**

* * *

Jon swung the door open, a fake smile plastered across his face as he fixed his t-shirt. "Any reason you interrupted my shower?" he asked, purposely blocking the door so Danny couldn't get in.

"You're dry and wearing close, but that's not the point; it's an emergency. I haven't seen Amber since the party and her phone keeps going straight to voicemail. Have you seen her at all?" he asked trying to force his way inside the apartment.

He planted his feet on the ground firmly then shook his head. "I haven't seen her, but I'll let you know when I do." He tried to shut the door in his face, only for Danny to stop it with his hand. "Dude, I gotta finish showering."

"Is Lily here?" he asked, looking over his shoulder. "Look, I just wanna come in. Can I come in, or is Lily gonna be a bitch if I do?"

Jon sighed, stepping aside so he could come in. Danny knew him too well to be able to pull anything off, so he decided to not say anything at all relating to Amber and hoped she'd stay put in the bedroom. "She's not here, but she could be back any minute," he answered.

"I'll risk it." He sat on the couch, his hands on his knees as he looked around the room. "So… Any reason you're hiding the fact that you know where Amber is?"

And he was busted. Danny really did know him far too well, and usually it wasn't a problem, but it was a major problem now. He stood there, looking at his feet while trying to figure out how he could save the friendship this time. "Look, she got kicked out of the house, and I just wanted to help her," he explained, leaving out the major details.

"Where is she? Hold on… is she still on her period?"

Jon raised an eyebrow. He never heard Amber mention being on her period, plus he _knew_ she wasn't, seeing as he was pretty much playing Indiana Jones with her vagina a while ago. He shook his head then walked over to him. "Danny, I—"

"Shut up, Jon. I give up with this damn revenge thing; she's obviously still in love with you." He stood up, running his hands through his hair. "If you see her, tell her we're done, I guess."

Jon pushed him back, wanting to get more information on his revenge. He had an idea of what he meant, but he figured that Danny wouldn't be that fucking stupid. "What exactly are you talking about, Daniel?"

He laughed, patting his back as if it was a joke. "C'mon, Jonathan; you can't be this oblivious." Danny turned on his heel, pacing back and forth as he explained. "I mean, you haven't given a single shit about a girl in years, so it was hard, but then you fell in love with Amber, so when I realized that, I swooped in and took what you wish you could get." He stopped in front of Jon and smirked. "I almost thought she'd back out; I even had to pull that 'I love you' card out of my deck and expensive gifts."

Without a second thought, Jon grabbed him by the neck, squeezing for a while just to make him panic, then releasing his grip, his hand still around his neck. "What you're telling me is… you took _advantage_ of her? All because of some fucking revenge plot that isn't even fucking relevant anymore?"

Danny smiled at him, resting his hand on Jon's forearm. "You gotta admit; she's ridiculously naïve, Jon. She still believes in love and all that bullshit."

Jon let him go then pushed him towards the door. "Since we're not brother's anymore, I can tell you this with all the fucking venom I got inside me. _I_ took her virginity. _I'm_ the one she loves, and I didn't need to fucking manipulate her to get her to do that," he barked. Jon could feel his entire body getting heated, so he opened the door, throwing Danny out of the apartment.

"So… he didn't love me?" Amber stood in the living room fully dressed, tears welling in her eyes. It wasn't that she cared that he loved her; it was that no one loved her. She took the necklace off, realizing that it was a lie, and she never wanted to see it again. "It's kinda disappointing. I thought that even if you don't love me, at least _someone_ did."

He walked over to her, pulling her in for a warm embrace. It was the most he could do to help. "Even if he doesn't love you, at least I… care about you. That should count for something, right?" She didn't respond, but he continued giving her comforting strokes.

At least Danny was no longer an issue, therefore there was nobody to feed her false information about him. He sighed and reached down to her fingers, rubbing the ring with his thumb. "Yeah, you'll always be there for me and care for me no matter what; I know what it means, Jon." She sighed, pulling away from him. "The only issue is, where am I gonna go after this? I was planning on going to Danny's house when the month is over."

"Is living here really that bad?"

Amber looked at him and felt the overwhelming need to smack him in the head. He should've known how terrible she was being treated; he witnessed it. "It must be easy for you, since all you're doing is sticking your cock in her and calling it rent," she snapped.

He rolled his eyes then shook his head. "All you have to do is clean a fuckin' house. So what? It's not that big of a deal," he sneered. "You don't know what it's like to have to claw your way up to survive in this world, and now that you're finally getting a taste of what it's like, you're whining about it like a spoiled bitch." He didn't know what came over him; the words just kept spilling out of his mouth.

Amber scoffed, then finally felt tears sliding down her face. "So you think what she's doing is fair?" she croaked, looking him straight in the eyes. His response was to roll his eyes. "You know what? I'm just gonna go for a while."

She didn't care that she'd probably get scolded for not making the bed or shining her shoe. Being there made her feel like an outcast. Lily definitely didn't like her, and Jon… he was on her side. There was no one with her. Not Danny, not Jon, and she lost the one person who supported her all the time.

Alcohol wasn't exactly readily available, seeing as she was underage, but she _really_ needed it.

* * *

"You don't look like you're from around here."

She'd been sitting next to Amber in the park for a while, grilling her about her personal life. She had no idea what her name was, but while it was slightly annoying, it was nice to not be alone while aimlessly walking around Cincinnati. "I lived in Cleveland until I was five," she replied, staring off into the distance.

"I have a cousin in Cleveland, but I don't see that side of the family a lot. Anyway, what's your name? Mine's Cindy."

Cindy was around her height. She was also a brunette with brown eyes and a cute face. Also, she was really chipper for someone who lived in Cincinnati. Amber was surprised that her energy hadn't been sucked right out of her since birth. "My name is Amber," she replied. "I don't know if you're _that_ kind of person, but I'm in a really desperate situation, and I was wondering if you knew where to get alcohol, y'know… illegally."

She raised an eyebrow, then shook her head. "I guess that's one downside to being a teenager… you _are_ a teenager, right? Because I've seen some ten year olds who look like they've lived on a diet of milk and spinach," she laughed, placing her hand on Amber's thigh.

"I'm eighteen," she replied. "How old are you?"

She smiled and flipped out her student I.D. from the University of Cincinnati. It said she was born on November 10, 1985, meaning she was still eighteen, but was going to be nineteen that year. "Are you in college?" she asked as she stuffed her I.D. back in her pocket.

"I'm not planning on going to college." It was really never on her agenda, and she realized it the moment she went to high school. She didn't really know what she wanted to do in life, but college would've just been a waste of time and money if eventually she had some sort of sudden realization as to what she really wanted to do.

The place sounded eerily quiet, so Amber rose from the bench. "Where are you going?" Cindy asked before Amber could get a word in.

"Home, I guess."

Cindy popped up, pulling Amber into a bone-crushing hug. "I'll miss you, Amber. I'll give you my number." She pulled away, then grabbed a pen out of her pocket, writing the digits across Amber's arm.

"Um… okay then. I'm gonna go now." She began to turn on her heel, only for Cindy to pull her back for a kiss. Amber stood there, confused, then pulled away. "Cindy, I'm—"

"Not into girls?" She sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I thought you were. I'm really bad at reading signals, and—"

"I am, but I just… got out of a relationship," she mumbled, looking at her feet. "You're really nice, Cindy; a lot nicer than anyone has been to me in the past forty-eight hours. I just can't be in a relationship or be in anymore more complicated affairs right now."

Cindy nodded, then gave her a weak smile. "I understand, and I'm sorry for being so impulsive," she apologized. "I hope this doesn't mean we can't be friends."

"We can be friends, but I gotta go now. I'll talk to you later if I get the chance," she said before walking away.

* * *

Amber quietly stepped into the apartment, looking around to see if Jon was there. It was silent, but she still had to make sure. She blew out some air when she stepped further into the house.

Honestly, dealing with Jon wouldn't be the best for her. She got some distance from him, but it wasn't nearly enough for her to at least act civil around him. Every time she thought of his face, all she could think about was clawing his eyes out. Not even loving him was enough to get rid of that thought. She just wanted to be done with him.

Unfortunately, he was home. He was just skilled at scaring the crap out of her. While Amber removed the cushions to get to her bed, Jon placed his hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump halfway across the room. "What's that on your arm?" he asked, his eyes locked on the numbers scribbled across her forearm.

"A phone number," she mumbled. Jon walked towards her and grabbed her arm, inspecting the digits carefully. "What's your problem?" she asked as she snatched her hand away.

"Whose is it?" he asked, burning a hole straight into her soul. His stare was so intense, that it made her enormously uncomfortable. "So you went out for an hour and came back with a number, huh?"

"She's more your type, I'd say," she said, staring straight at him. "I don't see what your issue is. You're having sex with Lily, and probably other girls you're not telling me about, but I can't even get a phone number without you questioning me about—"

"I want you to be my girlfriend."


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N:** Unfortunately, I have no idea if I'll be done with chapter 33 in time. The power has been out from Sunday, up until this afternoon, so I didn't get to write a lot. Sorry.

* * *

 **Chapter 32**

* * *

"No."

He raised an eyebrow, looking her straight in her eyes. Amber loved him and he knew it. He expected her to jump at the chance to be with him officially. " _No_? I thought you wanted to be with me."

She sighed, then began chewing on her bottom lip. The moment she realized she was in love with him, she wished for him to be hers. Him asking her to be his girlfriend didn't make him hers; he still had Lily. Nothing would change, except he'd be calling her his girlfriend behind Lily's back. "You already have a girlfriend; you don't need me," she mumbled.

"But Lily's not my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure even she knows that I don't consider her my girlfriend. She even said she knows I'm only with her so I'd have somewhere to stay." He wrapped his arms around her, not even caring that she wasn't returning the hug. His eyes felt like they were welling up with tears, and he didn't want her to see, though he was pretty sure she'd hear it in his voice. "I put up with Dirk, I barely got by with Danny, and when I thought you got some other guys number I just… I want you, alright?" His voice was shaky at that point, but it didn't matter.

He lost her before. He lost her too many times. He didn't want her to leave again because he got annoyed and said things that were never meant to be said. Danny always went on about how he was a prize, but she was a prize for other reasons; not the fact that she was a virgin. She was a prize because of her personality. Caring, sensitive, although painfully naïve. He had real feelings for her, but he had no idea how to get her to believe him.

"Why are we fooling ourselves, Jon?" she sighed as she returned the hug. "Well, why am _I_ fooling myself? At this point in time, we can't have an actual functioning relationship. I'm ready and willing, but you? You're still gonna be sleeping around out of necessity, even if you really don't have to, and I won't be able to handle it," she croaked. At that point, she was getting her tears all over Jon's shirt. "Don't you think it's unfair that while I'm staying committed to you, you'd be doing what you always did?"

Thinking about a bit more, it really was unfair. In fact, a lot of what he did was unfair. He had his reasons for it, but it was his reasons, and he only slightly considered her feelings. Bringing her there was a mistake; he should've known that she wouldn't have felt comfortable with the whole situation. But all he was thinking about was them living together, not realizing that the whole situation was pushing them apart, and a week didn't even pass yet. "I'm sorry, Amber; I really mean it. I thought this whole time that I changed at least a little, and I'm still doing the same shit without even realizing it." He cleared his throat then wiped away his tears, stepping away from her. "I don't know if everything will be fine again, so I need to say this before I lose you for good. Amber, I—"

"Jon, I'm home!"

* * *

They didn't speak to each other much since Lily got back from the party. Jon didn't speak to Lily much, either.

The next morning, Amber woke up incredibly early to begin her daily tasks so Lily would have less orders to bark at her, and to her surprise, Jon was standing in the kitchen, staring intently into a glass of water. "What are you doing?" she whispered as she walked towards the kitchen.

"Why are you up? It's four in the morning?" He placed his cup on the counter and squinted down at her. He didn't sleep at all, so he paced around the kitchen for thirty minutes to see if that would wear him out. It only helped a little bit.

"I have to clean," she answered as she reached for the empty bowl in the sink.

He shook his head and pushed her aside, grabbing the bowl out of her hands. He figured it was the least he could do, since he thought he basically ruined her life. "Are you hungry? 'Cause I'm fuckin' starving."

She actually only ate once the previous day, and she didn't even remember she was hungry. Everything was just so hectic that eating completely slipped her mind. "I am, but there's barely anything here to make proper food." Lily bought groceries based on what she could make, so there wasn't much.

"Cereal. There's Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Apple Jacks. Which one do you want?" he asked as he dried the bowl, then placed it near her.

"Cinnamon Toast Crunch."

He nodded, then walked over to the pantry to get the cereal for her. "Why don't you just relax? I'll take care of all the cleaning; that way, if she wants you to do more stuff later, it won't bother you that much."

She raised an eyebrow. Although it wasn't weird for Jon to help her, it was weird that he did it after scolding her about complaining about having too much work to do. He apologized, but he had a way of doing the same things he apologized for. "Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"I'm tired of seeing you constantly exhausted," he answered. After putting the bowl of milk in the microwave, he turned to her and sighed. "I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to stay here. If you want me out of your life, I'll understand completely." As much as he didn't want to lose her, he messed up his chances, and he knew it. The first time he met her, he didn't know anything would've happened between them, especially in the span of just two months.

"It's not that I want you out of my life; I just don't want a relationship or anything close to it." Of course, saying it was one thing, but she didn't have much restraint when it came to Jon. She was afraid that she'd fall into his arms, then have to deal with exactly what she wanted to avoid. "I'll get a job eventually, and when I get enough money, I'll find somewhere to stay if I decide it's worth it. Maybe we'll be friends, or maybe not."

He sighed, then nodded. "Here's your cereal."

"Thanks," she mumbled.

He sat on top of the counter next to her, then brushed the loose hair out of her face. "You still love me, right?" She nodded, scooping up some cereal. Jon then took a deep breath, figuring there wouldn't be any interruptions this time. "Good. Me too."

She choked, then put down the cereal. "You... You too?"

He nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. It was so nerve wracking. He had no idea that it would be so scary, and he didn't even actually say it yet. There was nothing to lose anyway. She already gave up the idea of being with him, so what was left, other than their friendship which he knew wouldn't last long anyway. "I love you. I love you so much."


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N:** I know I've said this for three weeks straight, but this is the only update for this week. Unfortunately, another hurricane hit us, and I survived (obviously), but I had to take care of minor damages before I could even think about writing. Anyway, I was trying to think of things I should write when this story ends. Should I do a sequel, or another Dean/OC story?

* * *

 **Chapter 33**

* * *

"You do?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I do."

Silence. She had no idea what to say or what to think. Of course, she wanted him to love her back, but it wasn't like anything could come from it. Him admitting his love would any complicate things even further between them.

"Are you gonna say anything else?"

She scooped up the last bit of her cereal, then placed the empty bowl in the sink. "I'm gonna go back to sleep."

She didn't actually plan on going to sleep, but she was so exhausted that she actually did. Later, she woke up at around ten in the morning, and she thought that the entire thing was a dream.

Jon was nowhere to be found, but Lily was already alert and ready to jump down her throat. "So… I see you cleaned then went right back to sleep," she said, leaning against the counter. "You missed a spot, though."

Amber raised an eyebrow, then realized that it really wasn't a dream. "I, um… where?"

Suddenly, she pushed a glass off of the counter, giving Amber a smirk as she did so. "I _accidentally_ dropped that, so you have to clean it up. Don't get cut, though; who knows what diseases you have. You had sex with that gross twin boy, after all."

As far as she knew, she never said a word about having sex with Danny in front of her, meaning Jon probably told her. It made sense; Lily made it seem like they were joined at the hip. "Danny is—"

"Oh, save it; just get to cleaning, you dirty maid. I mean, it's no wonder Jon never told me he had sex with you. He was probably so fucking ashamed that he thought that I'd laugh at him. At least he came to his senses, right? He told me last night that he's trying to stay committed to me."

Of course there was a catch to him saying it. She didn't think that he would stoop that low after what he said about Danny doing the same thing. Her feelings were definitely hurt, and she just wanted space from all of them. She sighed then grabbed the broom out of the closet. It wouldn't have done her any good to respond to Lily when she really did feel like she was garbage deep down.

All of it was a mistake; Jon was a mistake. And she realized that her mother was right. There was no way she could ever be with Jon without the suspicion that he was cheating.

"Are you gonna cry? Poor baby," she teased. "Listen, I don't know if you're just _that_ terrible at understanding shit, but Jon is _my_ boyfriend. We might have a few bumps in the road, but he's mine. I don't want you coming between that, or you'll regret it." With that, Lily dropped another glass, then went into her room.

Soon after, Jon came back into the house, sweat dripping from his body. "What happened here?" he asked, stepping over the glass.

"Ask your girlfriend," she mumbled. She didn't want _anything_ to do with him, and she didn't care if he thought she was a bitch. Jon hurt her far too many times and she was tired of just forgiving him and letting him get away with it.

"Not my girlfriend, but… shit, you're crying. What's wrong?" He took the broom away from her and began sweeping up the remaining pieces, still making sure to keep his eyes on her.

"Why are you such a fucking liar. Is this some fucking game to you, Jon?" she sobbed. She knew he could barely understand her, since at that point the most that could come out of her was a few squeaks, but she didn't care. "Why did you tell me you love me if you didn't mean it?"

"Amber, I honestly have no fucking clue what you're talking about. I _do_ love you. I had to think about it before I said it to make sure I do. And I know I said it when you wanted to leave, but I also wanted to say it earlier. Like when we were driving here the night your mom kicked you out, I wanted to say it, but I didn't know how. And that morning I came out to talk to you and I asked you how you knew you loved me… I got too scared. Then the other times I got interrupted, like when we were having sex." He sighed and threw away the glass, knowing she wouldn't believe him so easily. She rarely ever did. "Why do you think I don't love you?"

She wiped her tears, then turned away from him. "You're giving Lily the one thing I want from you; trying to stay committed to her. If you—"

" _Lily_ told you that? And you believed her?" He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He knew that he didn't say it, but there was no way she'd believe him. And knowing Lily, she'd just use the fact that he was staying in _her_ apartment against him. "Look, Amber, I… I don't know what to say to you. You won't fucking believe me either way, but I don't want… I don't want her to drive an even bigger wedge between us just because she's jealous." By the look on her face, he could tell that she still didn't believe her.

"And what are you gonna do about it? Leave it alone because you're too afraid she'll kick you out?" She turned around to look at him, folding her arms across her chest. "It's either you don't give a shit about it, or you're scared; which is it?"

He mumbled something under his breath, but she couldn't quite hear it. Then suddenly, he slammed his fist down on the counter, causing her to flinch. "I'm scared alright? I don't wanna fucking go back out there, hoping that I don't die from hypothermia or heat. Do _you_ know what it's like, Amber? At least your mom is willing to take you back if you just admit I'm a shitty person, but my mom… she doesn't fucking love me." His voice cracked near the end, indicating that he was about to cry.

Jon never really mentioned his mother. In fact, in the time that she knew him, she never heard a single mention of her; nothing about his family. She never thought to really ask about it, since it never became a focal topic. "I don't… I'm sorry, Jon."

The minute he looked up, she knew he immediately regretted his outburst. "No, I am… I'm just gonna… what if we just take a breather somewhere. We can talk without any, like… distractions."

Amber figured maybe that's what they really needed. She nodded. "I'll go shower first, though."

* * *

They sat on the hood of the car at the same place he took her for their first picnic. It also happened to be the very same place he apparently took multiple girls to have sex. Of course, that last bit of information came from Danny, so she didn't know how true it was.

"So, what's on your mind? Just let it all out. You can even tell me you want me to burn in hell if that's what you really feel."

She didn't even know where to begin. There was so much she had to say, but she had no idea where to start. She looked at him, then shrugged. "I mean… I feel like all of this is just a game to you. I don't know exactly what game it is, but I feel… I'm worth nothing other than sex to you," she confessed. "Lily means a lot to you, doesn't she?"

He took a deep breath and shook his head. "I mean, she thinks so because I tell her things a lot of people already know. Excluding people like… you, I guess. You know now, but she knew before you." He realized that he wasn't making anything better, so he decided to fix it somehow. "Look, I tell her how much of a scumbag I am because I didn't care whether or not she cut me off. In fact, I was hoping she would. Then I basically decided to take advantage of her, even though it wouldn't call I that because she knows what I'm with her for— fuck, I'm talking too long. Just continue. Let it out."

"She said that you never told her about me. Sex wise, I mean. Why?" It was a question she had since the first day she officially met her, but she never thought to bring it up.

He groaned. "I fucking knew that would come up if she knew how I felt about you," he sighed. "I never told her because I was all confused afterwards. It felt different, and I guess it's because I love you. It was something special that I didn't think was appropriate to tell her about that."

She nodded, staring at her feet. "I guess that clears that up, but… why didn't you tell me anything about your family? If you don't wanna talk about it, you can just say—"

"I'm not ready to talk about it completely yet, but I did something stupid and my mom kicked me out when I was fifteen," he sighed. "Your mom loves you; she's just disappointed. Give her time, and I'm pretty sure shit will work out. I'm just afraid you won't want to see me again when she forgives you."

Of course, she doubted that she would. "She was right, though; I don't think I'll be able to trust you."

He sighed and pulled her closer to her. He knew he messed up a lot, but he really wanted to give it an actual chance. Lily was obviously the only problem they faced, so he had to figure out some way around it. Until then, he had to accept that she wanted nothing more than a friendly relationship with him. "Can I give you a forehead kiss?"

"Sure." He leaned over, planting his lips right in the middle of her forehead. His lips lingered for a while, and she could feel electricity buzzing all over her body. No matter what went down between them, somehow he always made her feel like that. But she knew that it wouldn't last forever; it never did with Jon. "I really do love you, Jon. I just don't know with you," she sighed. "The thought of it makes me sad, but it's still reality."

"I get it, but I'll be different. I'm gonna make you really fucking proud of me, Amber. One day."

And he really meant it. It wasn't even just for her; he wanted it for himself. He was tired of just being the talk of Cincinnati for being a notorious scumbag, even though he was proud of it before. He was only eighteen, but he felt like it was time for him to finally grow up, and he was determined to finally do that.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** I'm really sick right now, but I managed to finish this chapter. I'm just gonna update once a week, since that seems to be what life wants me to do. Also, I think I'm gonna end this soon (I wanted it to be at least 20 chapters, but obviously I couldn't let Jon and Amber go).

I still need help decided whether or not I'll do a completely different Dean/OC story or a sequel to this.

* * *

 **Chapter 34**

* * *

Amber and Jon walked in the house with their arms linked together, to the sight of Lily sitting on the couch with a scowl on her face. "What crawled up your ass?" Jon asked as he slipped away from Amber.

She sighed at the loss of Jon's warmth against her skin. She knew it would happen once they were around Lily again, but it was still disappointing. He looked at her, then gave her an apologetic look, but it still didn't make her feel better.

"Come in the bedroom with me. _Now_ ," she ordered. He looked at Amber, then followed Lily reluctantly. "Lock the door."

"Why should I—"

"Lock it!"

He sighed, locking the door, leaning up against it. "What's the problem this time?"

She grabbed the box of condoms from the drawer, then threw them all on the floor. Kneeling down, she began counting them out loud. "One, two, three, four, five. _Five_ Jon. The last time I counted, there were fucking six of them in here. What happened to the other condom?"

He rolled his eyes. He knew he shouldn't have taken the condom, especially since Lily didn't like Amber, but it was too late to go back now. Plus, he enjoyed it. "It's not a big deal. You've seen me bring other girls here, and I borrowed your condoms a fuck ton of times."

Lily began laughing, then shot up off the ground. "The fact that you didn't tell me means that you didn't want me to know. Was it Amber? That fucking pest that's been getting between us since you met her?"

"There is no _us_ , Lily, and you know it. You just want the title, and I want a place to stay. I've said it before, you've said it before, and you were fine with it," he stated calmly. Lily was seething. Her entire face was red, and she looked like she was few seconds from punching him in the face. Then suddenly, her muscles relaxed. "Can I go?" he asked, his hand already on the doorknob.

"Rent is due, Jon," she said as she removed her top.

"But—"

"Take off your pants, or she goes."

He sighed. All the progress he made was gonna go down the drain, no doubt. Once Amber heard what was going on, he knew she'd be mad at him again and want nothing to do with him.

His pants pooled around ankles, and he was hesitant to pull down his boxers. He felt absolutely disgusted with himself, but he knew it would come eventually; he didn't have sex with her at all since Amber's love confession.

He loved Amber. He was never more certain of anything other than that. Yet there he was, pants around his ankles as another girl removed her clothing, while she was out there, probably feeling crushed.

"Hurry it up, Jon," she whined as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Fuck it." He decided that the more he hesitated, the more Amber would be waiting out there by herself. A quick dip in, then back out just as fast. As long as he got her off, he was free to go, and hopefully explain everything to Amber.

He removed his clothes as fast he could, then made his way to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for her to whisper in his ear. "I'm gonna moan so fucking loud for you, Jon."

* * *

As soon as it was over, he scrambled to put on his clothes and looked for Amber. The minute she stepped out of the room, he saw her lying on couch, staring up at the ceiling. "Amber?"

His voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "Had fun?" she asked. She couldn't look at him; not because she was disgusted or anything, but because she didn't want him to know that she was crying. It was something she knew would happen, but she didn't like hearing. Moaning his name, telling what him to do to her; it wasn't pleasant.

"I'm sorry, she was gonna kick you out if I didn't, and I was just—"

"I get it, Jon. Plus, I heard everything," she sighed. "Spare me the details, though."

"She's leaving soon. Supposed to be meeting with her father or something; I don't know," he said as he scratched the back of his neck. "I love you, Amber."

"Yeah... I love you too." She sat up, still careful not to look at him. He was silent for a moment, before he sat down then pulled her into him. "I know why she hates me, but _why_?"

"Right now, let's worry about getting you out of here." He grabbed her hand, brushing his thumb over the ring. "From Cincinnati bad boy, to a fucking softy who fell in love. I never thought it would happen. At least not at this age," he said with a smile. "I don't even regret it."

She looked at him, finally revealing her tear-streaked face. "From a loser who kept to herself, to living this fucking mess of a life. I regret it sometimes, but other times… I just feel like I'm alive for once. I guess I never really have a problem when we're happy."

Jon opened his mouth to speak, but Lily came out of the room, smirking at Amber as she folded her arms across her chest. "My dad is coming back to the apartment, and I finally want you to meet him. Make sure you're dressed properly, and that _thing_ is out of my apartment by the time I get back." She didn't bother to let him get another word. Almost as soon as she finished speaking, she was already out of the door.

"Guess I'll just go see if Cindy's available," she said as she pulled out her phone.

"Who the fuck is Cindy?" He never heard the name before, so it caught him off guard to hear her call an unfamiliar name.

As she scrolled through her contact list, she rolled her eyes, then looked up at him. "The number that was on my arm was hers. She's nice, but I guess she has a crush on me, because she kissed me unexpectedly when I met her," she explained, bringing the phone up to her ear afterwards. He was about to speak again, but Amber held up her finger, silencing him.

It rang for a few seconds, then she heard her voice come through. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Amber. Do you wanna hang out? If you're free, of course."

"Oh hi! Uh… I have a class in a few, so how about in two hours?"

"Sure, that's cool. Bye."

She looked up at Jon as the phone call ended, waiting for him to say what he had to say before. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "If she's brunette with brown eyes and has and is unusually hyper, I may have… you know…"

"Is there anyone in this goddamn city that you haven't fucked?" Of course, nothing surprised her anymore with him. It was Jon; he had that reputation that he had to work extremely hard to get rid of.

"It was a joke; I just wanted to see the relief on your face when I tell you otherwise," he said with a smile. " _However_ … I do know her. When Jenny and I were together, we wanted to have a threesome, and Cindy was Jenny's choice. I backed out of it, though."

She sighed and shook her head. "You need to learn how to keep your dick in your pants." He rolled his eyes. "If I asked you how many girls you've had sex with, would I be surprised?"

He had to think about it for a while, then ultimately realized that Amber knew what he did, she of course she wouldn't be surprised. "Nope. I don't remember the exact number, but it's around forty," he said with a questioning tone in the air. "If you wanna hear some names, I'll tell you. There's the obvious ones; you, Lily, Jana, your mom, Jenny. Then there's either Sasha or Sarah. They were twins, but I couldn't tell them apart. Oh, Christie and Bella; I don't think you remember them, but they were at the lake. There was Bailey, Ashley, Britney, Zoey, Autumn, Yasmin, Wendy, Quinn, Valentina, Tamara, Han—"

"I get, Jon. At this point, if I called a random name, you've probably had sex with them," she teased. Although thinking about Jon with other girls, regardless if it was before her, felt emotionally painful. But in a strange way, poking fun at it made her feel better.

He stood up, then bent down to kiss her forehead. "You're probably right, but… I only love one person. Her name is Amber, and she's fucking awesome for putting up with me."

It made her heart race, although she knew that they still couldn't be together. She sighed, then shook her head. "Are you talking about me, or the other four?"

"There were only two other Amber's, and I loved none, and they probably didn't love me. You, Amber Aryn Hendricks..." He scooped her up, starting straight in her eyes as he tried his hardest not to kiss her. "I love _you_. Now that it's out, I just wanna say it so much that you'll never doubt it."

"How cheesy. Do you think I like cheesy, Jon?" she asked, her hands on his shoulder as she tried not to look at him directly.

"You don't seem like the type, but it was worth a shot, wasn't it?" He put her down, ruffling her hair a bit. "Do you wanna go to the pool?"

She figured that it would help her relax a bit. Swimming was always fun, especially during the summer when she needed to cool down. She nodded as she smiled at him.

* * *

They were swimming for about thirty minutes, talking about whatever popped in their head. Although she kept it in the back of her mind that nothing could come from their positive interactions, she couldn't help but feel fuzzy. It got to the point where her cheeks began to hurt from smiling too much.

And from the looks of it, Jon took notice of it, and took full advantage of the situation. Not in _that_ way, but only to make her as happy as he possibly could. He swam towards her, looking as the water dripped off her eyelashes. As much as he wanted to kiss her at that moment, he had enough self-control. Instead, he just held her hand. "If you were never forced to be around me, do you think you'd talk to me?"

The answer was obvious, so she didn't have to think twice about it. "Fuck no. I didn't go up to anyone willingly. At _all_. I wasn't interested in having friends, especially since Jana sucked the energy out of me every day since middle school," she explained.

"You knew her since middle school?" They didn't seem that close, so he didn't think they knew each other too long.

She nodded. "She called me ugly, then her mother made her apologize, then my mom made me invite her over, then we became friends. Kinda."

He felt guilty for doing what he did with Jana. The moment he saw Amber again, he cut off things with her completely, but it was too late; he had already done it. "I'm sorry for, you know… fucking the only friend you had," he apologized.

He swam closer to her, his body pressed against hers. It took him a few seconds to realize it wasn't the smartest idea, but he still didn't want to move. He pressed his lips against her forehead softly, waiting to see if she would protest.

"We're in the pool, and people can—"

"Do you want this?"

She bit her lip, then slowly nodded. She didn't expect to crack this early, but he was irresistible, especially since they were getting along. In an instant, she snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him down. Their lips lightly brushed against each other, only for her to press her body further into his. "Don't hold back now," she whispered.

He didn't think twice before he slammed his lips into hers. There was no hesitation from either of them; neither of them could resist each other. It felt like a year since they were this close, and he missed it more than he liked to admit.

She could feel her face getting heated as the kiss became more intense. Soon enough, she felt his hand traveling her body. Starting out at her shoulders, then slowly making its way to cup her butt.

He broke the kiss, realizing that things were about to go too far. He noticed the disappointed look on her face, then pressed his lips on her forehead. "Don't worry; I'll take care of you in time."


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:** I'm sorry for updating so late. I'm still really sick, plus I've been busy catching up on the work I missed. Also, next week's update will be the last. I'll talk more about it later, but I'm gonna do a sequel that's supposed to be set in 2012.

* * *

 **Chapter 35**

* * *

"My mom used to work her ass off since I was born to support me. My dad obviously wasn't there to help around, but it took me a while to realize just how hard it was for her. When I hit puberty, I tried really hard to bring money into the house while still going to school. Nothing illegal; just helping people with their bags at grocery stores and shit." He stopped, taking a deep breath as he smoothed down his jacket. "When I was fifteen, I decided that doing that wasn't enough, so I uh… I sold drugs out of the house. The police traced it back and she just… happened to be home. They almost arrested her, but she got away somehow. When I got home from school, we argued and eventually she disowned me and kicked me out."

Amber bit her lip as she reached up to fix his tie. There was no response she could think of that would seem appropriate. She was honestly speechless, and she could tell that he was waiting for her to say something. "It's been so long; at this point, she's probably willing to forgive you. I can't say for sure since I've never met her," she replied.

"I don't know. Sometimes I sit in front of the house in my car and I have this constant debate on whether or not I should just go in there and talk to her. Obviously I never went in, but I miss my mom. That's why I feel like an asshole for breaking you and your mother up. You guys had a strong relationship," he sighed, walking away from her.

"Look, both of us had a hand in this. It's not like you forced me to love you. If I had a choice, I wouldn't love you, and she has to understand that." She walked in the opposite direction, sorting through her clothes to find something to wear to go out with Cindy. "You need to stop blaming yourself for it. If our relationship is really that strong, she'll forgive me eventually."

"I guess so," he sighed. "I'm just gonna focus on getting through this bullshit. I didn't even know a demon like Lily actually came out of a ball sack," he joked, earning a snort from her.

"Who knows, maybe he found her in a sewer." He laughed, shaking his head as he looked at himself in the mirror again, his smile instantly fading when he noticed miniscule flaws. "Why are you so nervous, Jon?"

He sighed, brushing his hair a little bit. "I don't want you to be out of a place to stay again because I'm an idiot. I have long, pink hair. There's not much I can do about that. I'm hoping this tux makes an impression. Does it look good?" he asked, fiddling with the sleeves.

"It looks great, Jon, but if I get kicked out, then I'll use the money and figure out something from there." She threw a t-shirt over her head, then slipped on some shorts. "I know I was the first one to freak out, but I realized that there's some things you can't control, no matter how hard you try. If I can't avoid being on the streets, then I'll have to work hard to get myself off," she explained. "But I know I'll have somewhere to go, even if it's only for one night. So try your best, but if it isn't good enough for him, then you move on."

"You're right," he sighed, looking at her with a small but genuine smile. "You know, you've matured a little since we got out here. I don't know… you're just not the same person I met back in April. I'm impressed."

"Thanks, Jon. Now go kiss some ass. I'm gonna go meet Cindy." She walked over to him, tiptoeing to place a kiss on his lips. "Good luck."

* * *

"I'm really sorry for what happened. I know it was—"

"I already said it was fine, Cindy. Relax," she said as she walked with her. "I don't know if it was a coincidence that we met, or that boy really can't keep himself from sexual situations if he tried." She knew Cindy wouldn't understand without clarification, so she took a deep breath, hoping nothing would change when she revealed what she knew. "Jenny, Jon… the almost threesome."

"Jon? Jon Good?" she asked, stopping dead in her tracks. "He's… I thought… Are you friends with him?"

Amber could sense something was going on, but she couldn't tell exactly what. "We're not friends exactly. It's a bit more complicated than that, and I'll explain it to you if we want, but first… why are you suddenly so nervous?"

She sighed, raking her fingers through her hair. "It caught me off guard because, well… I haven't heard from him in such a long time. How is he? I heard he beat some guy with a broom after he found out about Jenny cheating on him," she said, continuing to walk. "The last time we saw each other, he couldn't look me in the eyes. Poor boy got his heart broken that he turned into a shell of himself."

Amber knew what happened after that, so she didn't need to hear anything further. "He's different now. At least I _hope_ he is," she sighed.

"Now tell me about this oh-so complicated relationship you have with Jon."

"We met when he was dating my mother, we kissed when he was dating my mother, then we had sex when he was dating my mother. Eventually they broke up because he was cheating on both of us, but we made up, which lead to my mother finding out about us and kicking me out. So, now I live with him and his girlfriend. He's actually meeting her father now." Thinking about it didn't leave a golf ball sized lump in her throat anymore. There was nothing she could do to change what happened in the past, so the only thing she could do was hope things get better in the future. And with the way things were looking, she had high hopes.

"Sounds about right," Cindy said casually. "I can't give any input. I don't know who Jon is anymore. And for as little as I've known you, I can tell you have a good heart, and I don't wanna see it broken."

She opened her mouth to speak, only for a familiar face walking towards her taking her voice. She hadn't seen or spoken to her since the party, but she didn't think she'd be happy. And her assumptions were right. "Thanks for not calling me and stealing Jon," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Aren't you the former scene queen?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're Jana. You're the girl who was impossible to talk to at parties unless they had certain benefits. Well, you _were_."

Jana looked at her and scoffed. "This is between me and her. And for the record, I'm still the scene queen." She turned her attention back to Amber, rolling her eyes. "You were supposed to be my best friend, and you _knew_ I was into Jon. How could you?"

She figured Danny told her, but it didn't matter who did. She already knew, and there was no point in lying about it. "I'm sorry, but to be fair, we were together long before you."

"Yeah, you were basically just his dick warmer," Cindy chimed in, causing a smile to form on Amber's lips.

"This friendship is over, Amber," Jana said as she brushed past them.

Then she realized there was never really any substance to their relationship. Throughout the time that they knew each other, she felt more like an accessory to her than a friend. In middle school, it was to show her mother that she could be nice to the unpopular kid. In high school, it was the same thing, only it wasn't her mother she was trying to convince. The friendship was doomed to failed from the start.

And in the short amount of time, she saw Cindy as more of a friend than Jana was since middle school.

"She doesn't seem very nice," Cindy commented, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"She isn't, but whatever. It's not like I'll have to deal with her anymore, right?"

Cindy nodded in agreement and continued walking along. "So tell me more about you and your weird love life."

* * *

They were all sitting down at Lily's father's house, Jon trying his hardest to not spill chowder on his suit. He didn't like the food, but he had to deal with it. Her father barely said a word to him, other than giving him a barely audible greeting when they came face to face.

"What job do you currently have? And what do you plan to do in the future?" he finally spoke up. Thank God. Jon was getting annoyed each second he had to listen the spoons clanging against the bowls and the slurping noise.

"I'm a wre—"

"He's the manager at Calvin Klein at the mall," Lily lied, smirking up at him. "His salary is _amazing_."

Her father looked impressed, nodding his head approvingly as he wiped his mouth. "How'd you manage that with pink hair?"

Jon looked at Lily, raising an eyebrow. Her lie caught him so off guard that he had no idea what to say. "He got pranked today, and it's hard to wash out," she explained. "Oh, dad, look at the ring her got me!" she stuck out her hand, showing off a blue emerald ring with a white gold band.

Unless he had short term memory, he didn't buy that ring for her. Even if he did, he wouldn't have had the money to buy such an expensive ring for her. "That's beautiful, honey. But what are your intentions for my daughter, son? She's too young to get married, and—"

" _Obviously_ we don't plan to get married now, but Jon and I have been talking about it, and hopefully it's in our future," she said with a smile.

"Holy fuck," he mumbled as he slurped up his food. Her lies were getting too far, but he wanted to deal with it so Amber wouldn't have to stay at a shitty motel.

"You seem like a fine man, but you haven't spoken much to me. I wanna hear what _you_ have to say. What was your GPA like when you graduated?" He crossed his arms, staring straight at him.

He had no idea how to answer, so he blurted out the first thing that sounded plausible. "3.7, I think," he replied, avoiding eye contact with him. "I'm going to college when I get enough money racked up," he lied.

"And where do you plan to go?"

"Harvard Law. When I was a freshman, I used to argue a lot and make weak points seem like it could be the only plausible thing to happen. After that, I wanted to be a lawyer." The lies were just flying out of him at that point, but he had to keep reminding himself that it was for Amber.

He could see Lily smiling, and knew if she figured out his true intentions, her smile would be nonexistent. "I think you're the perfect man for my daughter, Jonathan," he said with a smile. "Just make sure that you don't hurt her, and everything should be fine."

They all stood up, Lily lacing her fingers between Jon's. He looked at her and shrugged. "Dad, you forgot to tell him the exciting news," she reminded him as she slightly squeezed Jon's hand.

"Oh, yeah. I wanted Lily to come back home, but she didn't want you to have to look for somewhere else to stay. I told her that if you were a decent person, you can stay here for as long as you want, and you're a pretty respectable young man. Although, you'll have to cut your hair and do something about that atrocious hair color."

Jon couldn't hear anything other than sirens going off in his head. The whole thing was for _Amber_. He wore a stupid suit for _Amber_. And yet she wasn't even a part of the equation. "You mean I did all of this ass kissing for nothing?"

* * *

Cindy had to go back home, so Amber sat in the park alone, bored out of her mind. She was just waiting for Jon to be done with meeting Lily's dad so she could talk to him.

Then she got a phone call from Jon himself. She flipped it open excitedly, smiling as she brought the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Where are you? I'm coming to pick you up. Like, right this second."

Something about him sounded different. He sounded happy, but unusually happy. "I'm at the park."

"Good. Meet me by the entrance. I'm like ten minutes away. Five, if there's not cops on the way there." She heard him laugh, and she couldn't help but smile. "You're probably confused, but I'll explain everything to you in person. I love you, Amber. Bye."

She quickly ran over to the entrance, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for him to show up. When he finally did, she stood there, smiling at him with tears forming in her eyes as she looked at him. Messy pink hair, a single earring, bobbing his head to loud music that she knew he didn't even like. It was who he was. He was happy like she'd never seen him before, and it made her feel so many emotions that she couldn't help but cry.

She hopped in the car, wasting no time grabbing him and pulling him in for a kiss. He was a bit hesitant, but eventually gave all the passion he could when he realized what was going on. He placed his hand on her jawline, leaning in as far as he could while moaning a bit into her mouth.

She nibbled a bit on his bottom lip, licking along, eventually pulling away and staring right into his eyes. The same eyes she immediately fell in love with the day they met. "I love you too, Jon," she breathed.

"Why are you so eager to jump my bones?" he asked, driving off.

"Because this is the first time I've ever seen you this happy. I don't know when I'll ever be with _this_ Jon again. In the next thirty minutes, we'll probably be arguing again."

He shook his head, and this time he did it with confidence. There was no way for him to screw up this time, and he knew it. "Look in the backseat. Tell me if anything looks familiar."

The bags she brought with her. All of them. Every single one of them. She looked at Jon with an eyebrow raised, then back at her bags. "What's going on? Why did you take my bags?"

"I had to meet Lily's dad because she wanted me to move in with them. Meaning, my whole purpose for leaving my lip print on his ass cheek was null and void. I mean, I told him I graduated with a 3.7 GPA and that I was going to Harvard. _Harvard_ , Amber," he scoffed, shaking his head. "Anyway, I broke up with Lily, grabbed our stuff, then packed them into the car."

She never believed it would happen, and she didn't know how to take it. On one hand, it seemed as though he wasn't scared anymore, but on the other hand, they didn't have any long term place to go. "This is so fucking… surreal. You really broke up with her?"

He nodded. "I really did. And guess where we're going right now."

"Where?"

"My mother's house."


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:** I can't believe it's over! I wanna cry, but this isn't the end of Jon and Amber. The sequel is called Every Beat of My Heart, and I already have one chapter written. I don't want to say too much about it, because I don't want to spoil it, but I'm already falling in love with them again.

Also, I'd like to thank Countryliving Girl, Skovko, thecharmedone927, AmbroseMagic, ficfan60, TinaCenaAmbrose, wrasslinfiend, LeslyXo, blah96, Dulce07, enchantedambrose, Zanderlover, Karma is a bitch xxx, Stephers89, hockeygirl8891, xo wanderlust, , xtremediva13, AngelsDestiny22, TellTale777, PeteDunneGirl, shellylu21, Sunny and Sides151, Sparkle Black, UselessWithAPen, the mummy fan, hrodenhaver, The Way She Walks, tinkebellz, dallas1990, and all the guests who left their reviews! Without you guys, I probably wouldn't have finished this.

* * *

 **Chapter 36**

* * *

Somehow, she knew exactly what would happen when they got to his mother's house.

His smile was replaced by a look of worry, and he was barely talking. Just staring at the house, his hands gripping the steering wheel. "I can't do it," he mumbled before turning the key in the ignition. "Let's just go look for a motel or something. Coming here was a mistake."

She swatted his hand, and tried to give him the most intense stare she could manage. There was no way she was letting him turn back now, especially since she had the knowledge of what happened. "You're doing this, and that's not a question. You _need_ to at this point."

It took him a second, but eventually he turned off the car and removed his seatbelt. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want you to come in until I know things are good. So just stay here, I guess."

She nodded, smiling at him as he made his way out of the car. "I'm proud of you, Jon."

He waved her off as he walked towards the front door, his heart racing with every step. Then finally, he stood in front of it, not knowing what to do. As he raised his hand to knock the door, it shook more than he'd like to admit. He sighed, giving it three hard knocks. "If she doesn't answer in two seconds, it means she knows it's me, and she doesn't wanna see me," he mumbled to himself.

"Who is it?" she asked from the other side.

He took deep breath, shoving his hands in his pockets. "It's… It's Jon," he answered.

There was nothing but silence for a few seconds, so he was just about ready to give up on the whole thing and go look for a cheap motel. That was until the door opened, his mother standing in front of him with her work uniform on. The corners of her lips turned up slightly as she took in the sight of her only son. "Wow… my boy," she said, barley above whisper.

"I'm not a boy anymore, mom," he said, a smile forming on his lips.

"Still a smart ass, I see," she joked. She stepped aside and motioned for him to go inside. He stepped in, adjusting to how much the place changed since he last saw it. It looked like less of a dump, but there were still miniscule remnants of what it was before, like family pictures.

The creaky wooden floors were replaced with brand new wood, which looked like it had been recently waxed. The rooms looked less cluttered, but he figured that it was only cluttered because he was there. He was a complete slob before he started living in other people's homes.

One thing that stuck out was how great is smelled. He got so used to the scent of rotten food smacking him in the face the minute his stepped in that the scent of lavender was making him slightly uncomfortable.

His mother, however, looked tired and frail. He figured she was working more, but he knew she wouldn't admit it to him, even if she was. She always wanted to make it seem like she worked less than she really did for whatever reason.

"How are you doing?" he asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I just, you know… I wanted to stop by and apologize. I know It's been three years, but I really miss having a mom. I miss knowing that I'll always have a place to stay when things get rough. I miss—"

"I accept your apology," she said as she stepped in for a hug. "A day didn't go by when I didn't think about you, hoping you were safe. I even celebrated your birthday last year. I made a chocolate cake and I ate it myself," she said, rubbing his back.

"I want you to meet someone." He pulled away from the hug, then looked at his feet. "She's my girlfriend, I think. I don't know, but I want you to meet her. Her name is Amber, and I, um… I love her." It felt awkward saying it to his mother, but he really wanted her to know how strongly he felt about her.

"Love, huh? Lemme meet her."

He nodded, then walked out of the house. He saw her smiling at him, only making him smile even wider. He motioned for her to get out of the car, which she did eagerly. Maybe too eagerly. As she was jogging over, she tripped over her own feet, falling on her face. "Oh, shit!" He ran over to her, trying to stifle his laugh as he helped her up.

"Just let it out; I know you wanna laugh," she said as she dusted herself off.

He wasted no time bursting into laughter as he snaked his arm around her shoulders. "That was so unexpected, but funny nonetheless," he said when he finally calmed down. "Before we go in there, I gotta ask you something. I know the last time I asked, it wasn't really the right time. This time, I think is, but it's up to you to decide if—"

"Get on with it, Jon," she whined.

" _Fine_. Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, holding his breath as he waited for her response.

She smiled at him and nodded. "Of course I'll be your girlfriend. Just as long as you promise I'll be the only one."

He rolled his eyes, while strolling towards the front door. "I'm taking you to meet my mom, Amber. I clearly plan to do whatever it takes to keep you with me."

She felt herself getting nervous the moment they got up to the door. Everything about her was suddenly wrong. She didn't think she was dressed appropriately, she didn't know if she would be able to speak properly, and she had no idea what to say. "Jon, wait."

He looked at her, trying to guess what was going on in her head. "Talk to me."

She sighed, shaking her head. "What if she doesn't like me?"

"She will. Once you just act like yourself, she'll love you as much as I do," he said as he rubbed her shoulders to comfort her. "Do you need more time, or are you ready?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath as he placed his hand on the doorknob. He slowly pulled it open, each creak causing her heart to beat faster. When it was fully open, they both walked in, his mother smiling as she walked towards them. "This is your _maybe_ girlfriend?" she asked, looking her up and down.

"My _definite_ girlfriend. I just asked," he said with a smile, rubbing her shoulders. "Her name is Amber Hendricks."

She stretched out her hand for a handshake, figuring it was the appropriate thing to do. His mother shook her hand firmly while flashing a smile. "Is that a ring I see? She just became your definite girlfriend, and you're already engaged?"

Amber looked at the ring and shook her head. "It's a promise ring. He said that it means that no matter what, he'll always be there for me."

She nodded, smiling up at Jon. "Who knew my son was such a charmer, huh? I can see why you got such a pretty girl."

Amber couldn't contain her smile, but unfortunately there was a lump caught in her throat, so she couldn't speak. She managed to nod at her, then look down at her feet.

"Also, mom, can we stay here? I mean, if my room is still liveable. I was hoping that we'd be able to sleep here and stuff instead of spending money on a negative one-star motel." He was afraid that she'd think that was the only reason he apologized, but he had a lot of hope that she'd understand.

She nodded, walking away from them. "You stay here as long as you want. I wanna make up for lost time, anyway."

Jon looked at Amber and smiled. "Awesome. But, we'll be right back, though. Amber and I have business to take care of."

She looked at him raising an eyebrow. " _Business_?" she asked, wanting more information on what he was involving her in.

" _Business_."

* * *

"Did you really think that I was gonna let you away?"

They were in front of her house. Well, what _used_ to be her house. She should've known that it was going to happen, but unfortunately, she didn't prepare for it. "Can I pass on this?"

"Nope. Get your cute ass out there and talk to your mom. I'm not going with you for obvious reasons," he said as he leaned back into his seat. "Just say everything you need to say as calmly as you can. It lessens the chances of it escalating into a screaming match," he explained. "Whatever happens, I'll be there for you."

She nodded, making her way out of the car, walking slowly towards the door. She knocked on the door, holding her breath as she waited for a response. She could only imagine how Jon felt doing the same thing. At least she hadn't spoken to her mother in a few days; Jon hadn't spoken to his in years.

The door opened, and he mother looked surprisingly happy to see her. "So, you left Jon, huh?" she asked, leaning against the door.

She shook her head. "On the contrary. I actually agreed to be his definite girlfriend an hour ago. I just came here to talk to you, and apologize," she said, trying her hardest to control the shakiness of her voice.

"You're still with him?" she asked in disbelief. "You know I only kicked you out to teach you a lesson. If you haven't learned, then what was the point?"

She shook her head. "I _did_ learn, just not the lesson you wanted me to learn. Mom, Jon might be an asshole who has difficulty being faithful, and I know this firsthand. I listened to him have sex with another girl while I slept on a sofa bed for godsakes. However, I'm willing to give him a chance, since he's shown me that he can change. I might be wrong, but I'm eighteen; this is the time where I'm supposed to make mistakes and learn from them," she explained. "I'm sorry it had to be with Jon, but you of all people should know that you can't control your feelings."

Her sighed and nodded. "You're right, Amber." She opened her arms for a hug, Amber wasting no time falling into her mother's arms. "I'm sorry for kicking you out. I let my anger get the best of me, and I should've found some different punishment."

"It's alright, mom. I'm greatful, 'cause I wouldn't have learned what I learned," she said, resting her head on her shoulder. "Where's Mox?"

"He's… I sold him," she said, sighing at the end. "I did say that we'd have to give him up eventually, and I figured that since you were gone it would be the right time," she explained.

"I figured that's what happened, so I'm fine. I just wish I got to tell him goodbye, y'know?" She sighed, pulling away from her. "Also, mom, I'm gonna be sleeping at Jon's mom's house."

She raised an eyebrow. "He hasn't spoken to his mom in years." She sighed, biting her bottom her lip. "I guess Jon and I just weren't meant to be. Come to think of it, maybe it was a stupid idea to force my seventeen-year-old daughter to spend a lot of time with my eighteen-year-old boyfriend," she said, shaking her head. "I basically played match maker, didn't I?"

"Pretty much, mom," she laughed. "I just don't want any animosity between you and Jon if all of us are ever together. I know what happened but… y'know."

"I'll try my best, honey. Now you go have fun. Expirience life, but _please_ stay safe."

* * *

Jon and Amber were cuddling in bed, and they both felt like they were finally at peace. There was no more dishonesty, no more running around, and nothing stopping them from comminting themselves fully to each other.

Jon placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled her closer. "How long do you think we'll last?" he asked as he stroked her shoulder. "I've been thinking about stuff like… moving into our own house, maybe in a completely different state. Both of us having our shit together. And who knows… maybe marriage?"

She looked at him, but couldn't see much in the darkness. Regardless, she couldn't keep her smile to herself. "We have to work towards that, Jon. Are you willing to put in the work?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I really want that. It may not seem like it, but I actually always wanted to settle down with someone. I don't know if I'm talking too soon, but I think you're the one I wanna be with for the rest of my life." He couldn't believe he actually admitted it, but the minute the words left his mouth, his heart sped up. "I mean, uh… whatever happens, I guess."

"Are you kidding me? You're _still_ trying to pretend you give zero fucks about anything? I've seen you cry, Jon," she laughed as she ran her finger over his chest. "I share your feelings, but let's focus on the present. 'Cause honestly, we'll have a lot of work to do before we can have an actual proper relationship."

"Yeah… I know," he sighed. "But, I love you, Amber. I _really_ love you."

"I _really_ love you too, Jon. Now get your cold foot off my calf."


End file.
